Pencil Case
Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy fathers' day, my dear Daddy and my dear friends' Dads.

I woke up this morning, and my first thought was: THE CARD! I bought a card last Friday, for Dad. It's the outrageously big card we usually see in Blue Magic, and I wrote quite a lot. It's to tell my Dad how much I appreciate his understanding of my overly-dramatic mind. I made Trish write too, and what Trish wrote, I guess, really did emphasize her worries, though they were written in such a joking manner. Goal: Make Arianne and Miguel write too! Arianne managed to write hers, and even draw some little butt-shaped figures with 2 nuts on each side (later we found out they were hearts with wings!) And, as for my brother, he simply wrote I love you Dad! and drew his version of my Dad (stick figure in blue and hearts all around). It was quite colorful. When Dad asked me to get his newspaper from downstairs, I tucked the humongous card inside, but then the edges were peeking because of the newspaper's unadept size. Oh, God.

And by the way, Maan, Happy Birthday. I don't have load! DAMN.

We went to The Fort, just because of the new Fully Booked. Yeah, what a book-addicted family we are. Did I mention it takes about an hour and a half to two hours of driving to get there? Amusing, really. We did enjoy ourselves. We spent a good number of hours looking at books and choosing what we want. La, la, la, la. It was a lovely building, with even lovelier material in its confinement. In case you haven't been there, it's still quite unfinished, the basement (which I suppose are for art materials) and the the top floor (business, etc.) are not yet quite furnished, as well as their Starbucks. But nevertheless, it was quite a world of reads. AND, out of curiosity, I looked for Leo's book. I had no intention of buying it, ha. (Because I'll be trading a painting for a book with Leo! Haha! No way am I not gonna read that!) Guess what I found out? IT SOLD OUT! COOL. Really. Congratulations, my dear friend, you sold out. Horays!

I ended up buying Emma by Jane Austen. So much for getting tired of classics! I loved the synopsis I can't not buy it. It would be against my better judgment to do so, so goodbye other chic lits, Jane Austen stole my heart. Trish got the Unauthorized Biography of Lemony Snicket. Eh? What do they see in his books? I, for one, despise it, loathe it, and swear never to read it again. I got depressed and my stomach failed me when I read the first book. Oh, God. What a shameful thing. But my dear sister wanted it, she's quite a reckless sardonic bitch. And I say that with much love. She actually wanted a vampire story, Twilight, but Dad laughed at her. Sardonic little miss. PS, I actually liked the idea of Twilight, I almost convinced her to get it.

Dad took us out for lunch, and he, being his usual self, tried to joke with the waitress. When we got there, we were on the waiting list, and we wanted to go to Fully Booked first. Dad was joking the waitress to text him when we get seats. HAHA! My dear father, ever so blunt. He's hilarious when you're with him. I didn't really like the idea of Mini Shabu Shabu. There's just no variety, but lucky them, they were the first restaurant my father saw, and he was very hyngry. We could've walked just a teeny weeny bit more and end up somewhere better! Sad, sad, sad. I'd actually prefer McDo, or Jollibee (:x) for that matter. But whatever, all that matters is I was with my dear, twisted bunch of a family. (cue: melodramatic music)

We went around Bonifacio High Street a bit, looking for my (soon to be MY anyway) pencil case, but we found none. I saw the Jordie ones from Fully Booked, but I didn't like them. They were the only cases I saw. We were also looking for Migo's alarm clock. He said he needed it. NEEDED. Kasi dapat mauna siyang magising kesa kay Arianne. Ang maunang magising, siyang manunuod sa room nina Mommy. Did it occur to him that we already have classes? We walked to Market Market for that, for his alarm clock. And my pencil case. But that's besides the point, because I didn't get to buy it. I still could see a suitable pencil case. Picky, much? I bought the pens, and writing materials, but no pencil case.

On the way home, we stopped by Ever to try to look at the National there (pencil case!), and buy my grandmother's medicines. The line to the cashiers were 30 people long. No, thank you. I went to Human, and odds of all odds! I found my pencil case!!! It only costs P69.75, and I loved it! It was made of stripped canvas, and of course the zipper. And I fell in love with it! The moment we got home, I painted it with a rubber ducky, with a talk bubble that says "Meow". And I also painted my pink stroller bag (which I plan to use this year!!!) with two hearts. One red, one white!

Did I tell you I'm in love with peanuts? Or nuts, for that matter. I love whatever it is that have nuts. It's an addiction! I bought Reese today, just for the heck of it. Nevermind the calories, peanuts are righteous enough to be excepted from the calorie count. (hint!)

Oh, and we were late for mass, but we attended it nevertheless. I saw my deaaaar Tep!!! =)) And I hate our school buses. Kill their tires, as well as their spares!

I'm going to have to go now, school begins tomorrow! I'm getting jittery, wondering how the first day is going to change my whole year. So long, and till tomorrow, loves! Pray for me? Yay. Pray for US. Please let it be block. :(

20:33

Notebook Adoration
Saturday, June 16, 2007

OKAY. : I have no LOAD, so, I'm greeting people through my blog! :)) Sorry!

Happy 17th Birthday Rica Zuniga! (June 16) Hmm, hindi na tayo natuloy mag-Galle.

Happy 16th Birthday Margaret Nitura! (June 17) Morog. :x Hihi. Please be my classmate.

Happy 17th Birthday Alexis Ramos! (June 18) Woohoo! =)) Hey!

O, I remembered the birthdays! So do NOT kill me, it's just that my phone is quite useless without load, so there you go.

I haven't posted since Monday, have I? Anyway, just a quick rundown of my week. I don't want to forget what happens to me, so bear with it, bitches. (and assholes)

Tuesday

I don't exactly remember. Wait, oh! Yes, yes. All I did was watch TV. Very productive, and highly recommended! I also read books. Oh, yeah, baby. But still haven't done summer reading list. I can't seem to find my work sheet! Who has hers, and still haven't answered? May I COPY? Oh, God.

My Mom wasn't talking to me. I was trying to be friendly, but I guess she's aloof. I think she had something in her mind, or I must've done something terribly wrong. No idea, anyway, I think she's feeling better now.

Hey, I have a new favorite author: Judith McNaught! Her books are lurve. My MOST favorite is Almost Heaven. And of course, Something Wonderful and Until You are darlings too, but then, I was happiest when I was reading Almost Heaven. Anyone up for reading? IM/SMS/call/tell me and I'll let you borrow it.

Wednesday

I didn't paint. I woke up with a mild headache, but when I got up, it KILLED me, my love. Damn it. : So I slept until late (okay, maybe just 11 AM), and when I woke up again, I remembered about our AFS meeting! OH, GOD. Sorry Idonna! Everyone already left then, Dad went to San Mateo, the driver brought Arianne and Migo to their classes, and so I couldn't go to the meeting.

Guess what I did?

Right.

I read. :p I can't find my Harry Potter 5 book!!! Anyone up for some love and lending? Please? I must find that book. Our house is a BIG MESS of books and magazines and all the other things a family acquires through time. I need a new house. Daaaaaad!

Thursday

Finally, a day where something actually happened. My dentist appointment. *cue: dramatic music*

First, we brought Dad to the airport, but not before eating. Dad treated us lunch, yay. :) Chinese always ROCK, but it rocks better with 213710985 chicken feet, and seafood roooooll. He's going to Davao for some meeting, and we had to pick up Tito Vernon from Southville because he's going with Dad. When those two talk, you can't help but eavesdrop. They were talking about being an engineer and these really annoying co-engineers. Makes me want to be an engineer. Not. I'm gonna be a lawyer. Oh yeah, I saw Southville's board (for announcements?), and I saw that they continue calling high school students by GRADE. Up to Grade 11? Aww! I wish we were like that! I'm having this bad, bad, desire to go to the States and study High School there! I can't do that though, how deflating. I only have ONE HS, and that's here in AA. I'll be back there in TWO DAYS! YAY! *cue: dance music*

And, we went to Binondo before the dentist appointment. Ha. And it took us a few hours before going back to Cainta because of ~~traffic~~ the driver's "wrong" decisions. Galit si Mommy, hala. We went to Big R first to get my sister's pictures. THE KID IS GONNA GET BRACES! And she's excited? God, she must be out of her mind.

Off to the dentist. I HAD TWO TEETH REMOVED! But not before waiting for a good hour or so. We were finished by 9:00. No kidding, PM. My upper lip was numb and it was funny. Hindi gumagalaw yung lip ko kahit nagsasalita ako, and Trish was having a BLAST pointing it out. DIE KID, DIE. Wait till you get yours!

Friday

This one's complicated. Here's the driver's schedule:

a. bring me to my painting class (9 AM)

b. fetch the kids and Mom from Teresa

c. bring Migo to San Beda (12:30 - start of classes)

d. fetch me from painting (1 PM)

e. fetch Tita Lau, Gold, Precious and Jewel from their house

f. bring the kids to their skating lessons (1:45 PM)

~~g. bring Tita Lau, Mom and I to Greenhills~~

g. after the kids' skating lessons, bring us all to Tita Laura's house

h. fetch Migo from San Beda, and fetch Jeff from his school

i. bring them to Tita Laura's house

j. go to the airport to fetch Dad and Tita Danny (another coleague)

k. fetch the Ruizs from Tita Laura's place

l. bring US HOME!

That was tricky. Anyway, so for MY part:

Painting was fine, I did some classics, and I showed them my Monet miniature! Haha! I love MONET! Master of impressionism. His colors are just PERFECT. And you know what? Even when he was having arthritis, he was still painting. And you know how? By tying his paint brush on his arm. *cue: tearful music* And that's passion, one day, I want to have his passion, even just a teeny weeny bit of it. He's a MASTER.

And, next part: eating at Tita Lau's. It hurt. My teeth. Or the spaces where the teeth should have been anyway. But whatever, I still ate. Diet, diet, lick my ass!

While the kids were having skating (nakita ko si Trina, haha!), we went around and bought acrylic. When we got to Tita Lau's place, we devoured Krispy Kreme and Chupa Chups. That sounded weird, and looked even weirder. Krispy Kreme and Chupa Chups. And I did their nails. Duh? Haha! We watched part of Sound of Music, but the film-viewing was cut short by Maria Flordeluna. Eh? Damn. I'm buying a disc of that, I lost our VHS when I was in Kinder.

When I got home, I started painting my notebook. I hated the Scottish kilt-like design, so I did my own. I kind of used the technique Kuya Jim used when he was doing those murals for Frio Mixx, because it was pretty. I used acrylic and thank GOD I did it! I was doing it till 1 AM or 1:30, with my Dad by my side! He wasn't making me go to bed! Cool. Really.

Saturday

I woke up and finished my notebook! It's done! Well, almost. All it needs is a teeny bit of varnish, and it's off! I'm getting KILIG! Hihi. I love the way it's finished! *insert more exclamation points!!!*

By 1:30, Mom made me take my bath and go to the salon. Jimmel said he'll be fixing my hair and make-up for the wedding, and that I should be there by 2 PM. So I was. Blow drying my hair took a long while. Now I believe it's THICK. Jimmel's not gonna be here during my prom! *tear* I want him to fix my hair and make-up. I love his technique. But by some wicked twist of fate, he's not here on Feb! His shifts for the cruise will start on November and end on August! WHY CAN'T HE HAVE BEEN GONE NOW INSTEAD OF FEB!!! God.

And so the wedding. It was okay. Green gown, a bit lousy, but whatever. No pictures. Hindi ko kakilala mga kasama ko. Good thing one girl was nice and I talked to her. The only other people I knew was the groom's parents, Tita Diwi, and Tita Lisa. I think. They're the ones I talk to anyway. The others are just relatives I don't really know.

We (Trish and I) hitched a ride to the reception because Dad and the driver are gone, again. I hate my picture! The official picture SUCK! I SWEAR! I SHOULD NEVER SMILE WITH MY TEETH WHEN MY NOSE HAS THAT CONTOURING MAKE-UP! IT SUCKS. Breathe. Okay. :) We realized we didn't have money, nor a gift, and no load either! It's a blessing my father arrived just in the nick of time. He gave the couple the gift, and then we left. Whew! I didn't know how we would go home. I was actually considering walking. Dad's a savior. Well, Mom is! She called Dad.

Lalala. I'm home. I'm still in need of VARNISH, HARRY POTTER 5, AND PENS FOR SCHOOL! Not to mention a pencil case. I'll buy it tomorrow. Father's day! We're going out! Duh.

PS! I did the icon by myself! Quite happy. :D No tutorial!

19:09

Idle Ramblings
Monday, June 11, 2007

My mom disapproves of blogs, "Why make a diary, then let everyone read it?" Well, as it turns out, I have a question regarding that, if I can't ramble and let people actually hear it, who can I turn to? That's right. My friends, just them. My family's one hell of a shit. Not really. My family's great and all, and I love them too. It's just that I don't think I'm understood, and I'm being mocked for thinking that I'm not understood. I guess I'll never be enough for them, and when I DO try, they think I'm stressing too much over school. And when they do tell me that and scold me for that, I ask them if I can go out with my friends, and they see something wrong with that too. What an absolutely beautiful standing for me, isn't it? Not knowing what they want and what they don't want. Like hell.

And warning, I might ramble too much. I just have to let it ALL out. :) I've been crying randomly all day long because of what Trish told me about something my Mom said, and what it implies. Last Friday, I wanted to get art materials, and so I told Mom so, and she came with me. You know why she did? I thought she wanted to, but Trish told me she thinks I'm meeting up with someone. What. The. Hell. Paranoid, much? And what does that imply? That she doesn't even trust me and she's always suspicious of me. Suspicious. So, now I'm reduced to a scheming bastard? Am I that untrustworthy that my Mom can't even believe that I'm going to National to GET art materials ON MY OWN? I guess.

And oh yeah, still remember the Alex (the guy) and Alex (the girl) confusion? It seems that she hasn't forgotten about that yet. And yesterday, I told her that I'll go skating with Paulo's barkada, she'll never mistake Paulo for a girl. Or would she? Kidding, Pau. :)) But yeah, she won't. (There.) But guess what, she said no. It seemed useless since I was gonna be at Mega. I always, always am during M-W-F. Most of the time, against my own will. I wanted to stay home, but then they said it would be more convenient if I come. So Bianca comes. When I actually wanted to go, guess what she did? She woke up Arianne (who has skating) and Migo (who has OT), VERY early. 7AM if I'm not wrong, and made them bathe, dress up, and prepare. Huh? They don't usually leave until 11, to pick me up from painting, then go to Mega. But no, they decided to come with me today. TODAY, when I'm going out with my friends. What a charming coincidence. (I'm frolicking with sarcasm, bitch.) And yes, they left me at the painting place. She even questioned what I was wearing. Can you believe it? I was in jeans and shoes and a long shirt, because all my SHORTS are in the laundry. I usually wear shorts, and now that I'm in jeans, "bihis na bihis" ako? CAN ANYONE BE MORE PARANOID!!! They left me at the painting place and made my Dad pick me up to bring me home. LOVELY. LOVELY, LOVELY. It means that she'll get out of her way and inconvenience KIDS and herself just to have ME not go OUT. Is that it? I guess that pretty much spells it. It's a very BITCHY coincidence, that she choose today to not bring me to Mega AFTER I told her that I'll be with friends. So, now, am I not to resort to being sneaky? How can I not! God, it's awful to try to read my Mom's mind. I love her so, so much, and the fact that I can never be good enought for her and that she can't even trust me NEVER, NEVER EVER failed to bring my tears. Faucet eyes, I call mine. They always tear up when it's about family. Never fails.

And to add to the dilemma, Trish kept on bitching on and on and on. I enjoy her company, but the way she treats me is unacceptable. Sure, it might seem amusing, but it's not. It's degrading. The way she calls me STUPID accusingly and in a You-are-such-an-idiot tone every time I don't happen to know something that she does is offensive. And when I tell her, she gets very impatient and I-don't-care-that-you-feel-that-way-you-are-wasting-my-time. Sometimes it's more hurtful than annoying. She's TRISH for heaven's sake. Trish-Trish. Well, I guess my feelings, Mom's feelings, Dad's feelings, Arianne's feelings, and Migo's don't have a shot when she's concerned.

Then there's Arianne, and Migo. Kids, enough said. Bitchy kid, but fine. Migo's sweet when he chooses to be. He loves me, I know that for sure. He hugs me randomly, because I treat him well. He never does it to Trish, or maybe VERY seldom, because she treats him like shit. Shit, I tell you. And then there's my Dad, who I can never be angry with. My Dad's smile melts me every time, that's why when he once told me, when I had a fight with Mom, that I'm "just his daughter" and mom's his "wife", it hurt immensely. Up to now I cry when I think about it, and that was YEARS ago. Can my Mom and I never be equals? Do I always have to be the suspicious, scheming bitch? It's frustrating how I can never be "okay" in their eyes. There's always something ridiculous, or there's always something that's TOO MUCH, or something that's inaappropriate. I can't even be myself when I'm with them, and that's not supposed to be how it is!

And well, I rambled about all these things while I was painting, and my teacher was kind enough to listen. I'm going to be a rebel one of these days. I'll be painting dark scenes deliberately just to piss them off, and give away paintings just to piss them off more. And do what I want, WHEN I want. Yes, so that they'll have ENOUGH reason to loath me. Just so their suspicions won't be in vain. Give them a reason to talk about, other than ~~hair~~ my supposed tricks.

Get your Dads gifts for father's day. They're the most REASONABLE members of the family. I promise. Guess what, I saw a gift I gave my Dad when I was in Grade 1. That's 8 or 9 years ago, almost a decade! And he still keeps the lousy maroon and black rosary, threaded with GARTER and NO spaces in between the beads that I made for him. I made it for him, and he kept it all this time. Isn't it lovely to have a father that's like that? I love my mom too, I just hope she'll trust me. It's been an issue for how long now? I don't know. Maybe she's really JUST afraid I'll grow up too soon. But then again I've told her A THOUSAND times that I know my priorities, and that I'll keep them in mind, but she never believed me. I don't deserve "trust" because I'm a sore loser.

PS, she thinks I'm embarrassing her when I ramble about how I feel. How do you think I feel when she talks to her friends and EMBARRASS me? Give them all my ridiculous attitudes and "twisted" views and shortcomings? I'm merely expressing HOW I FEEL because I can't tell her. She'll think I'm attacking her. And I can't tell my Dad too, I can't bear to hear his words again. And yet again, maybe it's a PMS thing.

PPS, I'm feeling better now. Don't ask why, I don't know. What date is it today?

17:44

Idealistic Dreams
Saturday, June 09, 2007

Guess what I'm listening to? The Moffatts. Specifically their song Crazy. I miss listening to these guys. Woh-oh-oh-ohoh! Trish found the almost-shattered CD (my very first CD in my entire life) that my Mom bought me when I was in Grade 1. I had their casette tapes, but I never had the CD. My busmates absolutely adored the Moffatts, and so it carried over to us little children. I remember peeking at the album cover Ate Ines was holding as if it was something illegal. I practically strained my eyes trying to get a look at the precious strip of paper in her hands. Eventually I got my Mom to buy me their CD. Oh, it was precious! Chapter 1: A New Beginning. I listened to it every night, albeit the fact that it's my only CD. I had my Mom buy me a radio just so I can play it and my second CD, N'sync: No Strings Attached. I remember the days very well. Very well. The older busmates were (according to age) Grade 5: Ate Ayeen, Ate Kat (my oh-so-adorable cousin!), Grade 4: Ate Ines, and Grade 3 (I thought they were OLD then, High School): Ate Lianne. And us, the ever so loyal followers: Nela, K-3 and Teptep. Whenever I slept over Ate Kat's house, I talk about the Moffatts. I even spelled it as Maffetts when my Tita said that that's how they are called in the States. Because she just came from there, I believed her. I actually believed they had two names. Moffatts and Maffets. Annoying. But anyway, I realized sometime later that it was The Moffatts and that "Maffets" was the slang pronunciation.

It was them who opened my eyes to the word CRUSH. *blush* My first crush was Clint, because Ate Ayeen said he was incredibly cute. (Even then, I relied on someone else's judgment? SHAMEFUL.) But in reality, I found him ugly. But still, they said he was cute so 7-year-old me still crushed on him. I had a very big secret though, I was crushing on Scott. Scott, the vocalist? I found him IRRESISTABLE. But oh well, they thought he was ugly, so I kept it to myself. I remember one of Nela's visits quite well. I told her I'll be telling her a grave secret while we were at our terrace, that I was crushing on Scott. Now that I think about it, Clint was cuter. :x

I'm searching the web now for a picture of them, but then again, were they still alive by the time the internet was excessively used? Apparently not, because all I got were fanlistings and magazine pictures. I hope they DO make a comeback, not the faux Bob and Clint Same-Same comeback (though I still LOVE them, they're not IT), but the Scott, Dave, Bob and Clint come back. Here's THEM as I remember them, cute teen age boys with long hair, or really short for that matter, with perky voices and crooning songs.

Then they were gone. They came back with Bang Bang Boom, but I never did get the album for some reason. I didn't even know the songs. But they were it, my it. They were my first ever favorite band. And, mind you, they will remain so. Oh, interesting, I'm looking at Yahoo Music now, and here's what I found: They have several albums, namely: It's A Wonderful World (1995), The Moffatts (1995), Chapter One: A New Beginning (1998), Chapter One: A New Beginning (1999), Submodalities (2000), Miss You Like Crazy (2003), Misery (2003), Until You Loved Me (2003). That's weird, I've never heard of all the other albums save for Submodalities. And I've always wondered why there are TWO Chapter One: A New Beginning. HEY, I checked, they have different songs! Some songs are common to both, but some are not. AWW. :<>

Well, whatever. Guess what, I didn't do anything today. I started rewriting Chapter 14 already, but then Trish and I stayed in front of the PC and did some stuff together, so hindi ko din nagawa. :-/ I began reading some new stories, I did Photoshop, and nothing else. Random fact: I like the English upperclass society of the previous centuries. It's incredibly amusing. I don't think I'd appreciate being a peasant that time, the noblemen are amusing. The women have certain rules, like when you curtsy, it's better to only have the index and thumb holding your skirt instead of all the fingers that God has given us. Oh, well. He didn't put me there either, he gave me the privilege of being Filipino. I think we think we're privileged to be from the Philippines if we're patriotic, but every other country thinks the same of theirs. It's a weird way of society. Like the Scots hating the English and the English hating the Scots. I read a book where a Scot said to an English: "You must feel very unfortunate that you were born English. I'm sorry for you." What the hell, she's English, she feels the exact same way for him as to being a Scot. It's hilarious, their patriotic-less ness for the other. Do you get what I mean? I'm having a hard time converting the abstract idea into words. I like tea, too. But coffee is better, no denying it.

I'm going to Alyssa's tomorrow. Daddy's birthday. We're doing nail-art! Sang, what time?

PS. Trish cooked some sort of Zitti pasta. The lasagna sauce minus mozarella, we didn't have mozarella. I'm afraid I'm guilty, but they don't need to know that. My apparent addiction to cheese brought me to eat all the mozarella with sky flakes, the same way I ate the sauce Trish made (very cheesy and tasty and dense, yum!) with sky flakes. That's actually how I woke up, Trish woke me up to ask me if the taste was good enough, and of course I wasn't able to drift off to sleep.

PPS. I'm still listening to the Moffatts!

PPPS. I never knew ~~Hansom~~ Hanson existed until they released Penny and Me. See? That's how Moffatts-infused I was.

18:11

Winsor and Newton Oil (!!!)
Friday, June 08, 2007

OH BABY. I hope life's a movie, because if it is, then we'll have background music, and when we do, we'll know how we're supposed to feel. Movies always tend to make us onion-eyed or extract peals of laughter, depending on what they want, and that's through music. Why, oh Lord, can we not have background music. But then again, what if we do? Then there'd be the sweet music of chase playing in the background now. Not from a radio, but from the air. How cool will that be? Hell cool. And yet again, a better question, why can't I create music? Oh, unlucky bastard. Bastard sounds so good. I want to write a story. NOW. I started already. A new one. Not yet posted though. I wanna finish Stalker Knot first! I NEED TO FINISH STALKER KNOT. Maybe I'll retype the whole chapter after all.

I am now officially a Ding Dong addict. You know, the mixed nuts? Costing P1 each pack? Yeah. That. I bought every Ding Dong I saw this morning. And finished more than half of it on my own. I need more, actually. I plan on buying MORE tomorrow.

I ate my Ding Dong while waiting for Sir Andy to arrive. Dum, dum, dum. Going, going, still going, and still going, gone. I almost left, but Kuya Jim arrived and he said I could paint. So, I did. I did Leo's beach on a really small canvass. It's getting pretty, especially now that the umbrellas are there already. However, the sky's a mess. I wanted clouds, but I keep on repainting it and coloring it and what gives. Based on chance, that sky. And the sea, too. And it gets different every time I work on it! When am I ever going to finish that? By Monday, I suppose, so I can give it to Mr. L already. And oh yeah, I also signed my orchid painting, but I think it needs wee bit more detailing. I have to smoothen the pollen cup, and the backgorund, but I got too lazy. Maybe next time. I signed it, and you know what? It says "Ruiz 2007" in script, and it has a little BEE above the "i". Not a bee-word, a bee-drawing. That's gonna be my signature from now on. Bee Ruiz, I like the sound of that.

I had a dilemma. I didn't know if I was going skating, or read. In the end, I went to National. No, dimwit, I didn't read there, how in the world am I supposed to when there aren't even any chairs? Anyway, I bought art supplies! I took a really small brush, something like a rigger but with ~~shortair~~ shorter hair. It's about the size of the needle. It's expensive though, P148.50 I think, and it's really small! *blink* And I bought a big canvass, and a medium-sized one, and a new extra palette. I was fine, till I remembered that I needed paint. They didn't have the Reeves set, and I was tempted to buy Winsor and Newton individually! But it was so expensive! *tear* P175-P325 per 37 ml tube, depending on the color. So I decided I won't get it. But my Mom said I could! Sabi niya, "Ano pa kailangan mo?" "Paint, but they don't have the set." "Buy the individual ones." "It's expensive! Next time." "It's the same thing, you'll buy it eventually." "THANKS!" Happy grin. Here are the colors I got: Cobalt Violet Hue, Burnt Sienna, Cobalt Blue Hue, Cadmium Red Hue, French Ultramarine, Cerulean Blue Hue (!!!), Yellow Ochre, Raw Sienna (!!!!!), and of course, the one and only, the magnificent, the extraonrdinary, the color I never knew existed as paint, GOLD. I'm so HAPPY. :>

I even ate Bolognese out of happiness, I don't exactly like eating pasta as it makes me feel heavy, but it's a pampering food. And of course, blueberry cheesecake and OREO javacinno. I pigged out. Yeah. But I'm happy, so who cares? I didn't go skating, but who cares? I'll do it on Monday! I'm just so GLAD I got my materials. And my paint! The paint is going to last me around 7 to 8 years, I believe. It's absolutely GORGEOUS!

And then we went home. But not before buying donuts from Krispy Kreme and pigging out again! I'm a fat boar. =)) But I don't care. Actually, I do! Very much. :-( It's SAD, and annoying, but whatever. We brought Migo to his OT, and there was this conversation...

Migo: Mommy, (something ignorant, I forgot!)

Mom: Hindi, anak.

Bianca: *snickers*

Migo: *abrubtly throws his bag and folders to me!*

Bianca: ANO BA.

Mom: *pinagalitan, etc.*

=)) Oh my. :) Todo lakas. Pikon siya eh. He's an ass. Really. But then when he's sweet and spontaneously gives me a hug, I love him. :x I do love Migo, but sometimes he's frustratingly annoying and selfish, not to mention hard-headed.

I'm off. I'll read a book (Only You by Judith McNaught I think). I found my Mom's illegal--a.k.a. Romance--books. Trish and I sneaked out last night, maybe around 1:30 AM, to get books, and hid them at the topmost cabinet of our room. Yeah, that's what my quest for my Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix brought me! I got tired of the Classics after a while, I needed a break from them, but I'll get back to it. :x I especially like Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. I NEED TO READ IT! I swear.

20:14

Black Rubbers
Thursday, June 07, 2007

Love, show yourself. :)) (I'm talking to a random cheesecake here, preferably Oreo) I'm hungry. Really, I need sweets. It's all I've been eating the whole day. Anyway, today's particularly weird. I thought I'd get my teeth out already (four, no less), but then my teeth didn't cooperate and I'll have to wait another week.

I stayed up until 3AM last night (or morning, fuck off) reading this story from Fiction Press. The Red Carpet. :) It's really a mixture of A-list, Gossip Girl (and something else I can't figure out) if I may say so myself. I have a very strong feeling that the writer is Filipino. It takes one to know one. It's just that the housekeeper is Filipino, and to even mention the Philippines...it's rather telltale. Another story, Breathing Life Into A Statue, is more telltale. I now KNOW that the writer is Filipino! Her amusement park's name is Enchanted Garden, for heaven's sake! And she related her tantrums to the Philippine typhoons of July.

And so anyway, I woke up 11 AM, ready for my dentist appointment. =)) Maybe afternoon? Or late afternoon. I wanted to hang around and have my lazy (non-existent) bum be fulfilled. BUT then, my Dad chose to send a messenger right at that very moment, and he said I must get ready. He'll be the one to bring me to the dentist. (I wonder why?) Surprise, surprise. A very long dentist appointment, indeed.

My dear dentist chose to introduce me to her patient, Mark (who happens to be the very person who I, uh, fooled with Bo's YM account, it's embarrassing. I never expected to ever see the person. Oh, God.) just because she thinks the world is cute and small. Haha! He's a classmate of Alex's and the rest, so there, dentist thinks small world must go smaller. But then again, since I'm early, I won't be able to fulfill her little wish.

One of my brackets are off again, wandering all over the place. Okay, maybe just the space in front of the tooth, but wandering nevertheless. I had new black rubber bands! It's BLACK. Emo? Much. And after my little changing of rubbers and not getting my teeth pulled (because it's not ready yet, oh MY), I ordered Jollibee. I've been developing a little obsession with their burger, however monstrously illegal it is that I decide to love Jollibee when I proposed marriage to McDonalds. But their burger it good. =)) Just when the burger decides to come, a little boy opens the door and asks for food. I felt a tinge of pity, but I decided to be an unfeeling, cold, bitch. Hindi ko pinapansin yung kid, I just felt like it. :-/ God, I was such an unfeeling ass. When the dentist gave him a Yakult, then the pang of guilt came. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO WHAT I LEARNED IN AA? I have to let go of this They-are-annoying-bratty-working-for-the-gangs-kids-and-I-can't-help-them mentality, it's EVIL.

Well, well. See if you're not surprised, while my Dad was having his teeth cleaned, Mark arrived. Tan, tan, tan. I finally meet the person I fooled with YM. Oh, the shame and the guilt. When my dentist was rattling about this (in front of my Dad, no less, embarrassing), I had my hands on my face. Oh, my. : : : Hahaha. I had a chat with his Mom, talking about common friends and stuff. :D And then Dad left. He's off to San Mateo to do some Engineer-related work. I chatted with them a bit more until the driver came to shoo me away. I had to go back, by the way, since the wire wasn't attached.

We then went to San Beda to get Miguel's books and supplies. I am in dire love with their campus! It is un-freaking-believable. It's THAT new and it's THAT developed? Oh, my. They have pretty washrooms, and a pretty foyer, and a pretty roof. They even have air-conditioned classrooms even though they're in the province for heaven's sake! They are very much like the schools from the States, I think, with their procedures and curriculum. If I didn't know any better, I'd wish I was studying there. But I did know better, AA is AA, and I like it that way. I also saw a bunch of steaming varsity players. On second thought, do I know better? Kidding! How does it even feel to study in a co-ed school? I'm afraid my experience is limited to Nursery school. I hope I can study there for a day, just to see how things go and all that crap. Like hell.

They even study Mandarin. My stomach sank when I saw my brother's Mandarin notebook. Curse you.

And then I bought Strepsils, so that I'll have something in my mouth everytime I feel hungry (i.e. calorie and fat-filled burgers), but I ended up finishing the whole pack on the way home. I'll buy a whole box of it then. :x I love Strepsils, especially the yellow one. And here I go again about yellow food. OH MY FRIGGING GOD! Francis Joseph Holgado Marcilla! You are freaking me out! Everytime I think of yellow food, my thoughts go to cheese, and of course thinking of cheese makes me remember Cheese (Francis, yeah) and every time that happens, the guy goes online OR IM's! :o :o :o It's freaky. It must be some sort of a timing spell. Haha! Anyway, back to Strepsils. The prescription, pop one into your mouth every 2 or 3 hours. I finished 8 in 15 minutes.

LOL. And now I'm home, IMing Ms. Castro about San Beda. *cries* I do love their campus. Very much! They have 30 boys and 5 girls in one classroom. How undeniably TWISTED is that! ~~A teacher's nightmare and a girl's paradise.~~ And I do wanna learn Mandarin. It is SO unfair.

Whatever, I'll mope here and look at my siblings. Migo and I are close in a way, still close. He hugs me and all. Trish and I, duh? But her being sarcastic and sardonic is getting irritating and makes me want to strangle her, but then I let it go. She's her own self and I can accept that, what bothers me is that she doesn't try to change. Arianne is a different story. She used to be okay, and loving even. She doesn't even ANSWER me back! She's good to me. She WAS. But ever since that gameboy craze... Rest is history. And she's a spoiled ass now. God help her.

Bye NOW. ANTM finale tonight, watch!

19:06

I am in love. No, really. I am madly in love with my cousin. The idea of him anyway. I met this HIM last year in Cebu. His family visited out hotel room. (During the time I had to be sick and vomit everything I take in, which is EMBARRASSING! Goodness, help me. Great first impression huh? Like hell.) Anyway, I remember he was tall, dark, buff and really cute. Fine, hot. Not cute. I had to transfer to the other room because I was REALLY shy (Now, can you believe it?) and I was sick and all. Then he was there! I ran away from his family to find him there, with the kids, no less! Aww. He loved the kids. Points! And shy little (that's metaphorical darling) me didn't talk to him, at all. Not even a single, uttered word.

And that was the last I saw of him.

And, word got to my *insert adjective* ears that he's here! And goddamnitall! Remember the people the driver picked up at the airport last Saturday? Or did I tell you about that? Anyway, the driver picked up some people at the airport last Saturday, that's why it was Dad who brought us to Ateneo from the family reunion. Apparently, after picking them (Yes, it's him and his family!) up from the airport, they went straight to the family reunion! Now, am I not generally unlucky when it comes to him. When we got there (roughly 5PM, hell!), they were gone. Heck, I didn't even KNOW they were there. I didn't even know it was THEM! :( The morning after, they went to Baguio.

Yesterday, they came back to Manila, (and to Rizal) to spend the night here. Here. Two houses away from me. I knew some people were THERE at that house since my grandmother was making me go there and say hello 21319 times. BUT, I thought it was Tiyo Ed or something. I NEVER KNEW IT WAS THEM! : Long story short, I didn't go.

Then, this morning, around 9 AM, on my way to my painting class, guess who I saw? Tito Danny (his father). Oh. My. FRIGGING. God. : Bang, hit me like a stone. It was THEM. : I didn't even get to say hello though. Na-shock ako eh. :)) And so we left for painting. The driver went back to Teresa to (surprise, surprise) bring them to the airport. That was 11 AM. My painting ends at rounghly 12. I didn't care if I was late, I won't be seeing him even if I ended at 12. SO, I ended up finishing at 1 PM.

Depression.

But then, it has its ups. It drove me to concentrate on painting, and I finally finished the orchid I've been working on for a few weeks now. :x ~~(Dedicated to Lorenz/Lawrence/Laurence?Lorence)~~ All for my dear self. :)

Shit, I still can't believe it. What's this, serendipity? Let's hope Tito Danny keeps his word and comes back on September 30. =))

Fine. I didn't see him. ~~No it's not fine dimwit.~~

I went skating instead! I saw BG's Mom (whose face I couldn't place for a long time until she said she was BG's mom) and she told me BG was taking up skating. :) I decided to go and give it a shot. It was FINE. BG and I caught up with each other. :D And I met her uber-hot 5-year-old niece, Kyla. She is pretty. :x So there, being the beginner that I am, I stumbled. I walked on ice, not slid. But walked. Until Arianne's coach went to me and told me that I must PUSH and not WALK. And now I can glide! I can skaaaaate. (In your face Paulo's barkada! =)) Haha! I'm kidding. But I won't be tittering and swearing on Monday anymore!!! :x)

Whatever, I lost my card. Or the slip of paper that times you and stuff. I had no idea how I was gonna get out. You know what my sister's trusted coach did? He gave me a student's exit pass! YAY! :D

And so we went to a tragic adventure--looking for Arianne's school bag. We ended up with this FUGLY pink Roxy bag. Seriously? It's ugly. But the kid won't listen, the kid won't wait, the kid cried. :)) She wanted it NOW, that's what she got. Pero sana she waited till we had time to go to Power Plant, the Roxy bags there are hotter. Impatient little ~~bitch~~ babyish child. :D She fucking CRIED!

And so we went home, darling.

.I took the pillow from the van's back seat. It's hmm, at the farthest south-eastern seat. (Yeah, obsession, I know.) And I took my seat up front. I interviewed the driver. :) Saan umupo ang pinsan kong HOT? =)) :D Haha! Guess what? THE EXACT SAME PLACE WHERE I TOOK THE PILLOW I WAS HUGGING!!! Napabitaw ako sa pillow. Hahaha! =)) Aww. Fate, come hither! :( :) He's tall. Taller than my Dad (who is 5'11). And buff. My Mother deliberately said "Ang laki ng katawan ng anak ni Danny, hane? At ang pogi. (Really, who uses that term?) Pwedeng pwedeng isali sa mga contests."

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!

The fact that I can't remember his face that clearly (IT WAS A YEAR AGO!) and the only two faces that come to mind are the face of a certain former crush and the face of a certain former crush both moreno and stuff but looks very different from each other was irrelevant. I remember thinking he was hot. =)) And by my Mom's standards? That's something. I can NOT believe I didn't see him! STUPID KUBLAI'S! STUPID PAINTING! STUPID COMPUTER. :(

*tear*

Pretend you didn't just read that. :D I'm eating ice cream. Macapuno from Arce. Hmm. It's pretty good. Sweet. I need it to get my FRUSTRATION (which is uncalled for, I promise) out.

00:14

Kamyas! Or NOT? :)
Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I can't write properly without my laptop. : It's a seige, that thing. But oh well, since I'd forgotten to bring it with me when I go out (to have it fixed!!!), I must suffer. Suffer the long, torturous torment of not being able to record anything (considering that my planner had been blank since the two faithful days I decided to write in it again). Ew, enough, ang drama nun ah. *cough*

SO. =)) I've been up to nothing really special. (I know this post should be about kamyas--I owe it to Cheese :/ OMG. Cheese IMed right after I wrote his name, that must be some psychic connection.--but what the hell, I'll write about me first.

When SEP was done, I've been out and about with Tita Laura and my dear mother, buying stuff for school. Pero ang naalala ko lang ay boxers! I went to Greenhills to look for boxers.

Only boxers.

Talk about hassle, but hey, I want it. I want it! It's so pretty and oh-so cute. :) I wanted to get the lizard design, and the frog design (Biology!), but then they don't have it my size. *tear* What the hell, I got the ones made of flannel instead. It's comfy. ~~I wish I was a boy.~~ I wish girls can wear boxers the way guys do.

I've also been painting. Painting nails! Nail art thing? Yeah. Tita Lau's kids (Gold, Precious and Jewel) are my ~~best~~ only customers aside from my sisters. :)) Every single time I see them (which is Mondays, Wednesdays, and weekends) each week, I make new designs for them. So the kids change nail art designs every two days. For FREE. Do you love me or do you love me? That would've cost P200 x 3 kids x 3 days a week! Oh yeah, baby.

And well, I've been painting too. The real one. My Mom and Dad think that my paintings are nice, but they're too dark. They thought the the ones I did with Mr. Ng was much better. In a way, they're right, but hell, they are two different teachers. And I loved the darkness of it. There's a lot of contrast, the contrast was lacking in my previous paintings. The old style was much more pleasing to the eyes of normal people, and the colors were always bright and cheerful. The new ones are more dramatic. They are full darks (70 % Violet + 25% yellow + 5% black), mainly because I fell in love with the color I created on time and used it in three paintings. The three paintings are the ones I'm doing now. Ha. :D I'm also in love with little ones now. 6 inches by 8 inches! They're adorable! I make my own small canvasses now.

Maybe I'll paint kamyas. ;) (Kidding, or am I? Maybe I will! Once I find that canvass I bought.)

Okay. I also want to watch Heroes. But hindi ako nakabili. :) What else do I do? Oh yeah! I watch Trisha's soccer! Last Friday, we went on an overnight sa bundok-slash-farm-whatever-you-want-to-call-it. And, the mosquitoes had a feast. : Brown out = mosquito bites! That was our family reunion, but! Since Trish had soccer the next morning, we left at 7AM last Saturday. I watched Trish play. Alone. Under the burning heat of the sun. Mom left after 20 minutes, so I had to stay there by myself. It was my choice anyway, so bugger off conscience. :) I wanted to see my sister play! :> Eww, mush. Trish, don't ever, ever, read this. God must have loved me, He sent Elle! Elle was there. Elle was there. Elle was there. Yay! I had a friend, who was alone! And then, neither of us was. We were together. Haha! She was watching her brother, and I was watching my sister. Cool. I also saw Vic! More people! Yeah, non-alone-ness of it all. And guess who else I saw? People I haven't seen for ONE full year. Power Memory classmates (Tinio and John/Jan). Seriously, the last thing I remember of them were imagining miswa coming out of mountains shaped as boobs and stuff. :) AND THEN, I saw them playing soccer. Woah, people grow up too fast. :D I met a new friend too, Luigi and another person (I can't remember the name! :c) So I wasn't alone after all. After their festival, I ate at Kublai's. Well, because of that cutting incident that second to the last day of SEP, I had to eat there again! Which I admit was one of the reasons I waited under the sun for Trish :D Trish, Ianah, Vic and I walked to Kublai's, from Ateneo. And I was as good as dead--they killed me metaphorically.

We went back to the family reunion too. They were swimming! We weren't. The electricity out? Yeah, the filter is out! EWW! :-O So. We didn't swim. We uhm, waited for an hour or two before going home. I love my family. :D My cousins. They rock. I mean, yeah, they do rock. :D

Nothing more happened to me. :) Being my bitchy self again, getting things I want from my Mom by not saying anything after she says no. (Not giving it to me drives her nuts with guilt, I didn't mean it to happen :c It just does. Oh, God.) By the way, we haven't been reading Mom's romance novels. :( She hid them in a crate when she found out we were reading it, and shipped it off somewhere unknown. Haha! But there are quite a few number left in hiding...

I think I won't write about kamyas now. Sorry Cheese. :( I haven't got sufficient data. I'll write an essay about it, FINE! :D But it'll be entirely about that. None of me. Oki? Oki. :D

PS. I need my laptop! :((

14:51