Carpe Diem (and an announcement for AFS members!)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007

First of all, if you are an AFS member, or have a classmate/friend who is a member of AFS, I'd greatly appreciate it if you take note of this and tell the members!

ON SEPTEMBER 1, 2007, SATURDAY, WE WILL GO TO DLSU, TAFT TO WATCH A DEBATE TOURNAMENT (2:30 PM-5:30 PM). WE ARE NOT COMPETING. (Asa ka muna, men. Haha! Not yet NOW.) CIRCULARS WILL BE RELEASED TOMORROW, PAYMENTS FOR TRANSPORTATION (Php 190.00) WILL BE DUE ON FRIDAY, TOGETHER WITH THE REPLY SLIP. WE WILL WEAR OUR COMPLETE RED UNIFORM. (Not yet final, will ask Sir Pangilinan AND Idonna first, but this is ALMOST it :-P Reminders might change tomorrow, but you'll know.) MEETING PLACE/TIME: MULTI-PURPOSE BUILDING, 12 NOON. YOU WILL HAVE TO BE PICKED UP FROM AA BEFORE 7 PM. BRING YOUR DEBATE KITS, SNACKS AND DRINKS. THANK YOU.

If, by some (very) unfortunate twist of fate, you forgot who you are, you are: Idonna Lacson, Rica Zuniga, Cara Chongco, Angela Caranay, Ayesa Lemence, Kyla Olives, Bianca Reyes, Krystella Guevarra, Divine Magno, Tintin Mendoza, Veronica Mirano, Khisby Mortell, Rica Doroteo, Karyza Leyble, Vivien Sison, Maxine Sta. Maria and me.

Now, on to the MORE important things, me, myself and I. No, I'm kidding. Wait a minute, do you know that grains of the truth are seeping every single time the word "kidding" is uttered? So that means, I'll be talking about ME, as this is MY blog. But I'll also talk of some other people, as per usual. I can't force you to read about me and only me or else you'll die out of boredom, and I can't think of me and only me or else I'll die of boredom. I'm a very boring person, you know. My life revolves on just ONE motto: carpe diem!

Seizing the day means eating all you can? Not exactly. I've gone WAY past the 3 desserts per week quota that the doctor gave me and Tricia. I'd like to think that I only ate 2 desserts last Sunday, but my conscience knows I ate THREE. And today, I ate 2 Choco Muchos (Yummiest, ever! Thanks to Mandy), 1 (or 2) cotton candies, and 1 (or 2) cones of ice cream, not to mention a slice of the Assumption tart. I'd be without desserts for at least one and a half week! I'm including guava jelly (My. Mouth. Is. Watering.) in my daily diet. Remember I am only to eat 2 slices of bread per meal (as rice is OUT OF THE QUESTION)? Well, instead of putting cheese (!!!) (quickmelt+parmesan+cheddar--yum, YELLOW food of the day!) and ham (or bacon) with the occassional sandwich spread, I'm going to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly. The first time I've heard of that was while watching Barney, and even then, I thought they were putting gulaman. Moving on, so that's my meal-y meal. PB&&J. But for lunch, I'll eat ham and cheese. Correction, I've been eating, I just spread the last drop of Guava Jelly on my dinner sandwich.

Seize the day. I just have to say (again!) that 94s are the WORST grade ever! I got 94 for Chem, History AND Filipino! ONE MORE POINT TO GET A BIG A+ and I didn't make it! I wanna cryyyy. 93 is way better, as a lot of you might agree. My mind is REALLY stubborn. While taking the Health test, I KNEW that Repression was the very first number at the LP, thus making it the one where bad thoughts were pushed to the unconscious. But stubborn little brain placed Regression. My hand wanted to change my answer, but my mind just would NOT permit it. It's quite a nuisance, really, as it happened to me during that CLE test, too. I erased 3 True answers and changed it to X (False), thinking that there MUST be a pattern. Hel-lo? There can NOT be 15 Trues and 5 Falses. Can there? Apparently I was wrong, as all those erasures were marked with big, fat, red circles. 3 guesses why? Ha.

Today went pretty well. After a few periods of, well, freedom, we went on shift. Actually, we weren't exactly free as we were supposed to watch a video of Pilates--which I doubt I can do, but then, no one was really listening and by the time the video ended, there was still more that a full period left of PE. Everyone was sleeping, or talking. Having no teachers is not quite nice when we think about it, because we'll have to catch up and rush things the next weeks. And, ALGEBRA is not ONE I would like to rush. Seriously.

And so I took my shift. The first one was with Jana at the HS chits-changing table. (Haha, pinangalanan eh.), and we earned A LOT. It was break time, and it was fun. It's way cool to be there, sitting on that relatively short stool (compared to that TALL table), receiving money, being of use. The next one was with Faye at the GS chits-changing table. I arrived there a teedy bit early, as Kyla and Carissa were still there, so Faye and I scraped the remaining ice cream off the...err...container. She managed to fill one whole cone! COOL. Then we took our shift and had serious (Ha!) talks about love (another, bigger, HA!), life, and school. And songs. It was one hell of a shift. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the point of view), the ones next to us weren't on time and Ms. Grace asked us to move the table to the place near the Gr. 1 cluster. I think Kea and Anne never found the new location. Sorry! I went out for a while to arrange the AFS transportation for Saturday and the CIR with Idonna, and had to go back to Faye. We stayed there up to 4:00, okay, 4:15. It was SO much fun. We talked to Ms. Grace, and the manongs and manangs, and fooled with the kids! (;

One penny for the answer: WHY, oh WHY, are we there? Shifts were for the Student Council, Fair Com Heads...and the Basketball Team? ANG LABO. HAHA. Anyway, I just remembered the answer, I asked Ms. Grace a while ago, apparently, our moderator was REALLY uhm, maka-kapwa. HAHA. Thank GOD, it was hella fun.

We were late for training. :( But we got there just in time. Ha? Ang labo. No, here, technically, because of the time of our arrival, we were late, but, because they haven't started yet, we managed to begin with them. Get it? Whatever, if you don't, then well. Training was pretty short, just a wee bit over an hour, and pep talk happened after. I got cramps, by the way! I think my body's still adjusting after the 2 or so week break. I couldn't even do the under-the-basket drill for the first few minutes. : But then, I concentrated, and yay! Did it.

My brother picked me up from school after training. I rode at the front seat, while he stood behind the driver's seat. I have a feeling he's afraid of being alone at the back of tha van, and wants to be part of whatever crowd there was.

"Ate Bianca, d'you know, Kuya Ver and I saw this girl play volleyball," he began with a nasty grin. "And when she hit the ball, it went straight to the roof!" he laughed as he tried to take control of his breathing. "It went back to her!"

The driver laughed as he steered the wheel to the right. He scrunched up his nose, "You," he began, "were looking at her legs."

I raised an eyebrow towards my brother, conveying a single message: elaborate.

He grinned sheepishly and scratched his head. "She was wearing blue shorts, and she has braces. Why did the ball go back to her? That's funny." And with an admirable skill of swiftly changing the topic, he said, "Kuya Ver, who's your girl?"

"Angel Locsin, and..." the driver trailed as he struggled to find another name. "All of them! All of them are mine."

It was Migo's turn to raise one of his left brow, which he did simultaneously with frowning. "All of them?"

"All the celebrities!" he replied. He swerved to the left and brought Migo, who was still standing, back to his seat in a swift, fluid motion.

He stood up at once and remarked. "Every celebrity? Piolo Pascual is your crush? You have a wife, might I remind you. I'll tell Ate Joy." he annnounced triumphantly, as if winning a debate with his fiercest rival.

The driver was shaking with laughter when he noticed lights blinking against the dark blue blanket of the sky. "Migo, look, fireflies!"

Migo narrowed his eyes and looked at the peculiar collection of lights. "No." he said simply, "That's a helicopter."

I looked at the lights and observed the colors. "It's a plane."

"No, that's not a plane. It has no blue lights." Migo said with finality as he took his seat.

But no, it was a plane. (:

I have no idea why I placed that short conversation here, but I guess I just never want to forget it. (: Tomorrow, we'll be having our food sale again, so bring your chits. And the Basketball Team will be having shifts again! YAY. (:

Here's a food for thought from the Makata of the New Millenium, Forest. "Love is just like jumping, hoping that someone will catch you. If no one does, at least only your heart is broken." and another one, "She said she loved me, but if that's what you do to people you love, then I hate you."

Well, I'm surrounded by people obsessing over love: lovesick, lovers, loveless, crushed by love, and all the other teenage scenarios regarding love, so I'm going to write something that goes around Forest's notion of love tomorrow. As for NOW, I'm tired and I. Want. Bed. (Probably a book, first?)

Wait a minute, actually, I was supposed to write it YESTERDAY. But I got to the PC real late, and I, instead of blogging, I wrote a write-up for Pau. He's to edit all the stuff he gets (I think), but here's my version (which is WAY too long.) :-P

If one, by a particularly fortunate incident, stumbles upon a Search-In nametag bearing the name Paulo, varied pictures of this boy who have fingers dipped on different teacups would rush to one's cerebral cortex, and the brain will then issue the muscles of the face numerous commands as to what scrupulous emotion must be portrayed. Probably first in line would be the overpowering command to pull the corners of one's mouth upwards, slowly forming a big crescent much like the moon that this Paulo wants so much to gaze upon—a smile. Paulo, often called Pepabits or Pau by his barkada, began to be known as the silent and the mysterious due to his silent demeanor and the trademark stare. This assumption derived from the meticulous stare, however, cannot be any further from the truth as it is—Paulo is as boisterous as one can get when surrounded by people who will not deem him demented when he spends half of his time goofing off, while spending the other half wishing he was. An amused grin would creep to one's face as the ironies that comes as a combo with the name Paulo comes to mind, namely, sleeping when he needs work to be done and failing to sleep when he wants to sleep. One would often wonder how, despite that supposedly sleepy state while working, he could produce something as spectacular as he always does. The command for a frown might seep its way through the flock of synapses, as one would recall that Paulo never left one's side even once. Given his busy schedule and hectic activities, it is a miracle how he can spend time brooding with a friend over problems whenever the situation calls for it. And, if only one more emotion can be permitted to appear in relation to this highly capable example of the male half of the species homo luden, that last emotion would be exuberant laughter. Days spent with the person we have come to know as Paulo Enrico Florentin Pabiton would never be without laughter, which is very much the reason why days spent with him is well sought-after.

21:07

Delussional
Monday, August 27, 2007

Everyone's sending GMs. 89% of them are dramatic, heart-wrenching, sad love story-ish, emotic (I am the new Shakespeare, walang kokontra.) quotes, or quoted quotes? I, for one, have gone back to going on ~~Unlimited~~ Unlimitxt (Fine, just so it's appropriate, because I'm Globe!). Do you want to know when I began going back on unli, as we so lovingly call it? (Lovingly?) Well, the eve of the eve of our Quarterly Tests. I'm not sure if it's the original set of days, or the postponed ones, but I'm sure it's the eve of the eve of the first day of the Quarterly Tests. Am I delussional or am I insane? How can I have gone on unlimited (not to mention actually ABUSE it) when I'm supposed to be studying? No one will ever know. I know I don't know why, but I know I did it anyway. I spent 238497 hours texting while studying. Ah, the wondeful age of multi-tasking homo ludens have finally arrived. Isn't it wonderful to be a real, living, member of this sub-species of homos? I know, right? To listen to my mother talk to her friends while fixing things for their trip (See? Even old people are multi-tasking!) and listening to a screw-up belching tunes on my neighbor's karaoke machine, writing a blog post and last but not the least eating Sky Flakes (Yum, it's my yellow food of the day!) with Guava Jelly AND Strawberry Jam all at the same time is quite a feat. I doubt that our ancestors can manage to do this. Oh, another thing I'm doing, kissing babies. Not kissing-french-kissing, idiot. I'm giving them pecks! My Tita brought her kids, and Ate Marie her niece, and they came upstairs ready to storm my mother's room. One thing I am NOT doing is studying. I'm tired of studying, I won't be studying until I absolutely have to. I can't grab another academic book NOW, I can only read NOVELS! I'm reading Wuthering Heights after finishing The Heiress (a Mom novel), I swear. But wait, I haven't finished Emma yet, and that other book I'm reading. Whatever, I'll attend to that later.

On with the emotional GMs I'm supposed to be writing about, the messages I haven't yet deleted anyway.

From Sheila: Don't let someone who loves you go away or even lose touch. Because it's more than a heartache when you finally say, "Why didn't I love you before like I love you now, now that you can never be mine."

*Screams!!!* Hell. Okay, I must not say anything. Oh hell, curses, I will. I'll say it from the someone who loves you POV. Not mine life, okay? Just a thought for all teenagers out there. What if you've already gotten over THE ONE when THE ONE suddenly wants you already? Well, would you go for THE ONE or The-other-one-you're-with. Well, from the POV of THE ONE. It's the suckiest feeling ever. But wait, that piece of advice from the quote is quite selfish. What if you have TONS of people who are madly in love with you, are you supposed to flirt with them until you decide who to choose? And, in our case, studying in seperate single-sex schools where your only communication on weekdays is through text or IM or phone calls, how in the devil are we to know they're not "not letting someone who loves them go away or even lose touch" too? This world is very, very twisted. People flirt through technology, or people become friendly through technology, but since facial expressions (and tones of voice) cannot be transported through technology you'll never know it the other party is serious or sees you as one-of-them. One. Of. Them. Which is how you see the other party! It's twisted, really. Hoping against all odds for something that another person is hoping against all odds from you. Am I making sense? Or am I using too much pronouns that you can never determine WHICH party I'm talking about?

That twistedness will lead me to the next quote...Irene's.

If you like me, then say so. If you don't, stop acting like as if you do.

Ditto! I WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM THAT TO EVERY SINGLE GUY OUT THERE. And all of us ladies. We're all frigging guilty, yet we agonize over every single man (I'm using the female POV this time, wouldn't make a difference) who acts as if they like us but not really. We do that too. I wonder if guys feel the same way too? And HOW do you know that guys don't treat EVERY OTHER GIRL the same way? Or even better? Hey woman, do you understand how the male species think? If you say yes, you're a damned liar. That's not TRULY mine, I got that thought from The Heiress. I only paraphrased it to suit my mood (as it was meant for the other half of the homo luden species primarily). So if I may, can I please say? If you like me/us, then say so. If you don't, stop acting like as if you do. It confuses us ladies. Give us a break.

But you know what? I think if someone says that, she's actually wanting you to take the former option--to "say so", not "stop acting like you do". Which will lead me to remember Jesy's...

Dasal ng isang sawi sa pag-ibig...
Lord, bigyan niyo po ako ng sign kung siya na nga,
kung hindi...Lord naman, please, siya na kasi!

HAHA. Sounds like that, actually. I've deleted the original one already. But you see? We ask God to lead us to the "right" choice, but no matter what the supposed "right" is, we still WANT our chosen choice, regardless if it's "right" or "wrong".

This is frustrating, actually, if there is a person who WILL understand how the opposite sex thinks, that person is a frigging genius. OH MY. I THINK I KNOW THE EXACT PERSON! Sir Andy O.! YES, HIM! HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. That painting teacher is exceptionally smart, I swear. Yes, he's the only person I know who comes close to understanding women--and men. Everyone.

Last mind-numbing, arm-shaking GM is from Reinier:

Alam mo ba, sa tuwing malalaman kong malungkot ka, gusto kitang lapitan, yakapin ng sobrang higpit at sabihing "Andito lang ako." Kaso lang, hindi ko magawa, kasi alam kong hindi ako ang kailangan mo.

I don't want that feeling. I never want to have that feeling--if I never had it before. I think I did have that feeling already, but then, I just can't remember. Or I don't want to remember. Regression! Or is it repression? Damn it, I got that wrong in the Health test. Once in the test, in the test it stayes. Damn?

Oh, pahabol. Here's another message from Reinier, still.

Six pieces of advice from Iman Ghazali:

1. Closest to us in not family, but death.

2. Furthest from us is not the moon or stars, but time passed.

3. Biggest is not the mountain or the sun, but our lust or desire (Sigmund Freud, is that you?!)

4. Heaviest weight is not the elephant or iron, but responsibility.

5. Lightest is neither wind, nor feathers, but not praying or delaying it.

6. Sharpest is neither knife nor sword, but our tongue.

Well?

And I can remember this one from Alyssa:

Math tells us the saddest love stories. Parallel lines that could never meet, tangent lines who met once but parted forever, and asymptotes who can come closer and closer but will never, ever, get together.

I wonder which my love story will be? For more on Math and love analogies, go to Forest's blog entry HERE.

16:02

FUN is spelled as W-E-E-K
Friday, August 24, 2007

ICON by Trisha. (She insists that I frigging look like the girl. What the?)

This, by far, is the funnest week ever! The best week of junior year since I don't know when. It all began with the tests. The tests were fun (no sarcasm intended!) because I studied. It feels REALLY great when you know what to put in the test, coz once in the test, in the test it stays.

MONDAY

We all had to go to Reich's place to do our History project. Naligaw kami ni Celine. Sino ba naman kasi ang mag-aakala na dalawa ang #118 na bahay sa E. Dela Paz street, San Roque, Marikina? We got to the first #118 that we saw, but, unfortunately, we could not find a ~~ding-dong~~ doorbell.

Celine: *kumakatok ng malakas sa gate* Bianca! Sumigaw ka.

Bee: Anong sasabihin ko?

Celine: Reichelle.

Bee: REICHEEELLE!

Celine: *laugh* *pause* *looks left* REICHELLE!

Reichelle: Bakit kayo nandyan?

Bee: #118 ka diba!!!

Reichelle: Yung isa!!!

Hahaha! Dude! Who would've thought? It's one hell of a lucky miracle that the dwellers of the first #118 didn't open the door! We did our project--paper mache of the Rosetta Stone! UNFORTUNATELY, we lacked resources--hair dryer. You know what we did? You know? You know? You don't know! We didn't blow the glue dry, dimwits. We went to *durumdumdum!* Jollibee, Blue Wave. We used the hand dryer...yeah. And! It got dry! Yeah! Then Michelle had to go home, bye, bye.

After painting the Rosetta Stone, I went to Gateway to meet up with my Mom. Apparently, Tita Che was there too. They were going shopping, but I simply had to study for the QTs the next day! I went to Starbucks (Gah. I shall not waste money on overpriced drinks unless it's an emergency!) and read CLE. And took notes for CLE on the lovely brown napkin. I love the Starbucks atmosphere, but they are way overpriced man. THEN SOMEONE GRABBED MY BAG FROM THE CHAIR BESIDE ME! I almost screamed, pero biglang si Alex Ramos pala! HAHA! Benta. I'd kill you dude :> Talked for a while, then my Mom fetched me and the driver and we went home! But I bought a bar of Snickers first!

I went home and studied for English and Chemistry! (Translation: I read my notes and recited the LPs to myself. Period.)

TUESDAY

The Chem test was...fine, I guess. It wasn't hard, but I can't remember if it was easy! English test, the supposedly easy test was a shocker. It's full of those analytical-multiple choice items and I simply despise that! :-( But I loved the other parts though!

CLE test was the bomb. It killed me. Ironic use of...whatever. I have this notion that all True or False tests have the equal number of correct false and true items...apparently I was wrong. Ugh? Just so you know, the answer to the crossword puzzle 9Across, the one at the very bottom, is EXPERIENCE! 10 letters! MAN? I answered TEACHINGSS. Haha!

For the afternoon, we had the Algebra remedials. Well, all I did was pretty much draw a mouse longing for food. I was SO hungry! I want food with the same amount of passion as the Ratatouille rat do! So I didn't listen all that much, but the teacher's REALLY good! Ms. Valente? I wonder who'll replace Ms. Orteza now that she gave birth?

And so I went home to study for Health, and a bit of History. A bit, because one who studied for 6 hours don't repeat everything again! ((:

WEDNESDAY

AP TEST WAS HARD. `Nuff said.

Oh, pahabol! Health was frigging easy! Algeb was okay too. (:

And when I went home, I studied, and cried! I cried while reading Noli Me Tangere (3PM - 10PM!). But I didn't cry because of Noli. I cried because I didn't want to study. I always study and I want to be free! I want summer already!

THURSDAY (!!!)

Yesterday was THE best day ever! (Ice skatiiiiing!) I woke up at 3AM to study Rizal's life. I didn't get to because reading 28 chapters take a lotta time. I remember reading something in English that lonely hour of 3 in the morning (Hell.), but when I got to the bus and I read the LP again, all were in Filipino. I must be going crazy. Haha! Or dreaming. My guardian angel must've been studying for me. Yay!

Filipino test! It was frigging easy! Sort of. But hell! It was! I hope I get a nice grade to pull up the MQT. Geom test? It was fine too. I didn't get to review everything though, so I got restless when people were passing their papers.

Then! WE WENT TO PAM'S HOUSE. I thought Regine wouldn't get to go na to the Skating thing, but thank heavens she joined us! We picked her up at her place, then went to Mega. Pam and Reg didn't want to go skating, so we went to the movie house after eating at Yoshinoya. (May group na SOBRANG bigay-todo tumawa, kaya natatawa na din kami. Must. Control. Seld.) We left them--for about 2 minutes, then went back and begged them to go! We went in the rink first, then they followed after 5 minutes. It was a lotta fun (in the Isa/Idonna accent)!!! I can skaaate! I didn't fall...AT ALL! And I can do it fast-ish already, a big step from Bee-holding-the-railings! (:

Then, someone called us from above. "Bianca!" Si Bo. Funneh. Talked to the lunatic for a while. (Tumakas sa guard papasok! Tapos kelangan pala ng stamp palabas. Ah, yun lang. Buti nakatakas ulit!) Then we wanted to go to Mega Plaza already, but the driver was goooone! We waited for an hour, but he still wasn't there! So we rode the taxi to Galle.

Galle, hmm. I was at Toys 'R' Us to buy (~~a birthday gift for som~~) something, and I did! I found a little frog. Then someone was poking my ribs (the spot without kiliti, ha!), and *durumdum* Marci. Then he went to Faye and did the same thing.

Faye: *playing Winnie the Pooh* Bianca ano ba, tumigil ka.

Marci: *tuloy pa din*

Faye: Bianca!

Bianca: *goes in front of Faye*

Marci: *tuloy pa din*

Bianca: Faye.

Faye: Bianca?

HAHAHA. Benta. Pero she didn't get to finish the game!!! Sayang. Letter something na pa naman siya! After that, we went to Friday's to eat, Pam's Mom's treat. THEN, THEN! They asked if we were celebrating anything, and we said Faye's birthday! She got free ice cream and a dance!!! MADAYA!!! =(( =)) Haha! Then we went to National to buy paint and (me) a palette knife, and then we went to the arcade! Then my Mom called. Off to the house then. Haha!

FRIDAY

Today...we had our AFS meeting! Divine was the winner of Bomb Shelter (?)! YEAH! She played Plato. (Kutseiruh, Teenidowr, ay, WEH.) She won! She won! Against Mother Theresa and Ghandi! Yeah! Plato deserves to live because he holds the secrets of the republic, he's thinking of science so he can invent something that could bring back the dead, and he's a man--he can reproduce many times! WHAT!!! Benta, dude!

Then we had our THE. I'm a Don Hen girl! OJT at Don Henrico's, Brickroad! BE THERE OR DIE NOT THERE! Support! Next quarter we'll be doing it! Me iz xzited! :x

And then...

KANSER!

We watched High School Musical 2 (GUILTY PLEASURE!!!!!) on the way, but we didn't finish it. =)) Then we watched the play, it was awesome! Real fine! I <3>

Diosdado Macapagal bridge: Dare: DON'T BREATHE WHEN WE GET IN UNTIL WE GET OUT! I DID IT!!! Yeah, scream with me! Scream thee! Then Kim and I had a heart to heart talk about college, and husbands. :)) And now I'm home.

It's the best frigging week ever! I feel awesome! AND TIRED! Painting tomorrow! And Trish will go to Shang, I wanna come. (:

21:50

Don't Drop Out (?)
Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I received a text from my Mom's friend:

Lunes, pag gising ni Maria, 3 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 3 piraso na lang ang buhok ko. Ititirintas ko 'to!"

Martes, pag gising ni Maria, 2 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 2 piraso na lang ang buhok ko. A, hahatiin ko 'to sa gitna!"

Miyerkules, pag gising ni Maria, 1 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 1 piraso na lang ang buhok ko!

Hmm? While reading it, I was waiting for a punch line. Well, it's pretty much a moral tale, when you see the last line. But before I get serious, I just want to say: ANG HILIG NG PINAY SA PANGALANG MARIA! Ang hilig ng Math teachers sa pangalang Susan, Sally, Sue, Marcy at Jenny. Ang hilig ng English teachers sa pangalang Ben, Jenny, Lucy at kung anu-ano pa. At ang hilig ng Filipino teachers sa panglang Juan, Jose at Maria. I never saw my name on those word problems, on those Find-the-subject/direct object/object of the preposition (which I never got, by the way)/predicate exercises! All I ever see is Ben, Susan, Sally, Sue, Seashells. It's quite disturbing, really. I just hope they never name their kids Sally, Sue or Seashells. It's way too American. But then again, I'd prefer that to names with unnecessary Hs (No offense to those unlucky enough to have experimental-slash-hippie-parents during 1991--or whatever year you were born) like Mariah (not Carey, MA-REE-YAH), and one that I saw on one of the tricycles this afternoon: Fhe. I mean, what the hell? FF-HEH? What's the H for? And Rhose? How's Jhane? Or worse, changing Bs to Vs in the tackiest way--Veverly. Ehem, A Rhose By Any Other Name by the guy in first year, Ms. Arcilla's LP. That was the best! Ling raised to the power of two. Bong-bong, Bing-bing, Ling-ling (my Mom!), Ton-ton, Tan-tan, Ding-dong. Who would name their kid Ding-dong? Ding-dong! Anybody home?

Moving oooon. There's no punch line. The last line says:

Lesson? Be POSITIVE. Dahil ang buhay, ~~weather-weather lang -Kuya Kim~~ depende lang sa attitude yan!

Well? It wasn't just a quote I'm reading, processing, and deleting. I might delete it, yes, but the message will always and forever be with me. My Tita's been telling me things since last Monday. I kind of pissed my Mom off last Sunday...she told me that she's having a hard time raising me because I'm selfish and I need to get what I want, when I want, or else I'll be feeling bad. I'm not really like that, she just sees it that way. Sabi nga, weather-weather lang yan. And she just catch me on my off-days. But I'm used to it, doesn't bother me. And my Tita was there when my Mom was lecturing me (I really AM the black sheep, the hatest of all kids) and she sent me messages yesterday and today to make me feel better. And, in all fairness, I did feel better after that no-pinch-line text.

I really must see things under a positive light. See? That's why the flourescent light is better than the yellow, tear-shaped bulb. (All hail Angelito Flores! F*ck the government for not funding him...he had to go to Russia! But well, we don't have money, so whatever.) The flourescent bulb's brighter, so I'll see more clearly, and I'll see things positively. Like now, I'm supposed to be reading Noli, I'll look at it at a positive light: I'm doing this now and not studying because I have to get my brain ready, to rest for a while, or else I'll be torturing myself. Wait, that was crooked. (: Not quite the way I wanted it to sound but deal with it.

Positive light! Look at History optimistically. I hate the test, kind of. I could recite everything in the book and in my notebook from memory! But then, the questions were quite tricky and not all for details, you have to think! I didn't expect a thinking test, she doesn't usually give thinking tests, so I had a hard time. I just answered, and once the text is in the test, in the test it stays. Why is it that every time we check papers, I have that "Ay, sh&t, oonga no!" feeling and while taking the test, I never do? I always end up getting the wrong answers. Well, it'll serve as a test, next time, I'll do better because I'll study more and understand more.

Before I go, I have to tell you! Did I tell you about that kid in church? The kid who stared at me for the 1239846 minutes of the duration of the mass? Yeah? The two-ish years old who reached up to the top of my knees and knew my name? Yeah? I did? Well, I know who he is! I went to the Parish groundbreaking last Sunday, and one of my Mom's aunties came up to us and said that her grandson saw us in church and stared at us! HAHA. So thaaaat's the kid. Oh well. I better go now and read my Noli. Today was supposed to be the easiest day--History? I thought I would nail it. (Translation: I didn't!), Algebra? It was nice. I kinda liked it, but I got one word problem wrong already, too bad. Health? Pretty much the easiest so far! I hope. Who knows, it might be full of trick questions? Yesterday was the heaviest! Chemistry and English together? Well, but I didn't study. I read the facts, and studied the facts and the facts alone. But guess what? The facts were what, 30-40% of the test? Only that! Ha! Especially English. I don't like the thought-provoking multiple choice analysis-of-text items! We have different views! ((: And CLE? Don't talk to me about CLE. Next in line and Last in line: Filipino and Geometry! I'm gonna kill myself for Filipino and not think of the smart-ass bitches (Note: That's a term of endearment if it comes from me, darlings :-*) who got exempted! THE LOT OF THEM! Waa! I'm jealous! Boo-hoo. Okay, don't keeeep that in mind!

I'm off!

PS. (~~Who knows where to get a WWJD bracelet? Or who can teach me to make one? Or who can buy me one?~~)Who can kindly give me an IDEA (and better yet--an aid!) as to where/how I can get the WWJD bracelet NOW? I've been wanting it since I was in f***ing Grade 5! I had one in Grade 5 but I can't find it now. And I've wanted one ever since! That's what, 5 years!

PPS! I found my Grade 7 ID. Eek! Not me! Not ME! Oh fine, face it. Me. *Crieeeeeees!*

PPPS: I'm reforming, I'm eating properly, and I'm quitting being too dependent on my grooming kit. Ako'y insekta ng bayan. Ha? Wala lang. I'm wasted. Bye, y'all.

14:12

Passive
Saturday, August 18, 2007

What the hell is wrong with me? One minute I'm so excited and the next I'm cursing the whole world. I know that I can't leave the house and not see someone I know. Even when I got to McDonalds (any branch, man) I get to see someone I know. Or at least, someone who's familiar. This morning, I left the house having that giddy feeling, wondering who I'll see today, or if I'll even see someone today. It's been a staple in my life that if I go out, I make it a point to feel happy. I'll leave all the bitterness at home, even though that's highly unhealthy. I should be leaving the unhappiness outside the house so I can be peaceful at home. I can't seem to do that, I feel out of place in my own home.

Well, guess what, I actually texted today. And it benefited me. Communicating with friends is quite and awesome thing. I was hyper, I was texting and I became extremely hyper and my too-random-to-be-functional humor got out of hand--again. And only I could understand myself. I sent Ian B. a message telling him that I'm hyper because for some incomprehensible reason, the lunatic understand my humor. *smug grin* And guess what? He said he couldn't go OL because he was at MedCity. And do you know where I was? MEDCITY! Ha. Is that cool or what? Anyway, I pulled Tricia downstairs so I could say hello to Braga, then guess who I saw? I heard someone call my name and then *dumdumdumdum* I saw Pao Impe! Here's the really, really cool thing, two minutes before he called me, I was talking my sister about him! I forgot what we were talking about, but what the hell. That's pretty amazing. It's like some sort of a mind-reading powerd of fate? It's freaky, but then, it always, always happen. I talk about someone, and it's like some kind of magic and I conjure the person! Next thing I know, he/she will be in the same place as me! Woah. I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter, some witches are late bloomers, you know?

And so I got my injections. It's one of those series-of-injections things, I come back twice a month. You see, Dra. *what's her name?* diagnosed me with breast cancer, and I have to go back to have injections that would kill the tumor. It actually sucks, everytime I go there, I have to strip down to my pants, and she'll be examining my chest, while Mom and Trish had their eyes closed. Okay, you got me. I'm totally kidding. The injection was anti-ovary cancer, plus it prevents HIV or other STDs. Hel-lo? Me? Bee? Contracting HIV? I don't think so...unless my future husband would have HIV? Well, hell. I weigh 2 or 3 kilograms more than I used to weigh (last month). That's 4.4-6.6 pounds gained! Ha. How incredibly uplifting--not.

I went to Megamall after, and I felt like shit. I hated life. I hated the way my Mom think of the helps and the driver as stupid. No one's stupid. No one's perfect! And if there's anyone out there who never, ever, had a sin or forgot something, let him or her cast the first stone. But please. I know, I know, Mom's having a hard time with all her sicknesses but it doesn't serve as an excuse. If there's one thing I learned from Assumption, it's to respect everyone and everything. Yep. That's why I'm friends with the helps. They know more about than my crushes than my parents do! And oh yeah, I felt shitty because my Mom was feeling shitty and it carried over to me. It's one of those contagious moods, you know what I mean? I began to get pissed, and hate my Mom. Then going home, she had this gur-wrenching pain attack and she was clutching her appendix and she was groaning and screaming, and that's when I realized: I love my Mom and I'm not ready to lose her. I wish I had all her sickeness and pain so that she'll be there to take care of my other siblings.

I know I'm not that into having my siblings rival me for the driver and the van (I can't drive the other car till I'm 16--or till I'm a legitimate adult--and I can't possibly have my Dad drive me in his car! Haha. He's a Dad, not a driver.) I need my own driver! WOAH. And I cried. I cried at the passiveness of my life. I'm just so bored. I hate concentrating in school. I don't want to get very good grades if that's in place of fun-fun-F-U-N! Fuck that 100 for Geom, and that other 100 for the next Geom test, fuck that English 100 and all the other ridiculously boring grades. No one cares about it in the real world. I mean, I don't, so why would others even care? Ha. Grades are just numbers, and no one would want to ever hear of them again. I think I'd much rather fail--or not fail-fail, just normal fail. But still! It's just that my Mom always tell me to stop studying, and I can't tell her that I have nothing better to do since she thinks me going out is such a nuisance that she doesn't allow me to have the driver and the van all to myslef for a day. Now, how the hell am I going to unfocus from my studies if they won't give me a chance! They don't have a right to complain. NO. NO. Big fat letter N, followed by a fatter O! Fuck you. Screw your screwed minds. Pun not intended. I just don't like it that they see me as one of the kids. I'm not a kid anymore! News flash: They can change the rules, man. They can alter it to meet halfway!

I need to cry, I have too much of estrogen, like my Mom. I hate being the bearer of the X-chromosome! Why can't I have been born male, with all the freedom and the life? OR WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD AN OLDER BROTHER! If I ever get out of my prison cell and form my own family...I won't trap them in a jail I created. I'll raise them the way my parents raised me, with the values, but, I won't restrict them the way my parents restrict me. They can learn from their mistakes. I won't make them learn from mine--not that I'll have a chance to commit them, coz I won't.

19:27

Little Devil
Friday, August 17, 2007

Ah-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Ah-looooo-ha! *jumps up in the air and does a backflip* Yeah, baby. No classes tomorrow, and yesterday, and the day before. And oh yeah, I almost forgot, today. Do you know why I haven't been posting? Well, our Quarterly Tests arrived. *dandandandan* Well, at least they were supposed to, but then the rains arrived first, and the Tests (yeah, with a capital T) were delayed. Too bad. It wasn't too awful last Wednesday. We weren't sent home when classes were suspended, but it was okay. We had the mass (which was very long, even in my standards--and I'm the girl who can stand really long mass celebrations.) with the Koreanito priest. *Cough?* Then we had the community day. Ay hindi, bago pala yun, recess, we were given ice creams! They were given ice creams. Naubusan ako. Boo-hoo. Man. Next year, I'm gonna be fast and I'm gonna get my share of ice cream! Ha! Then the community day. Lots of picture taking, lots of presentations, and lots of rain. You know, for some particularly weird reason, the rain doesn't make me feel gloomy, it actually cheers me up. Well.

Oh, hey. I have one fear conquered. Or is it supposed to be "had"? Since technically, it was conquered last Tuesday, but then again, it still is conquered today? Oh whatever. What's the conquered fear? The fear of the stove people! I actually managed to go near the stove--and produce something relatively edible. I cooked pasta, men! I followed 3 seperate recipes, so that makes my recipe an original. It does look like gravy--point taken. But still! It tastes like pasta. Cheer with me y'all!

But I didn't go near it again ever since.

I studied, if you might want to know. I slept, then I studied, then I ate. I ate too much I think I'm going to gain SO. MUCH. WEIGHT. All of it goes to my arms, of course. I believe that in the 13 pounds that I gained since last summer, 5 went to my left arm, 5 went to my right arm, 2 went to my bum (THANK YOU LORD) and 1 went to my stomach. What the hell? I used to not have humongous arms. Whatever. I'm not eating until I feel like I'm passing out. I know it's not proper, but I survive that.

Oh, I'm reading a self-help book: Battlefield of the Mind for Teens by Joyce Meyer. Is she realated to John Meyer. Waley, joke lang. Sorry, sorry. Haha! Anyway, it's actually pretty nice, there are a lot of things that makes me nod and knot my brows at the same time. I'll give you a clip:

Satan is a liar. Jesus called him "the father of lies and of all that is false" (John 8:44). Here are some of his deceptive lines, which he'll use as he tries to control your mind. How many of them have you heard in one form or the other?(Wait, may naamoy akong hindi maganda, I can smell foul foot odor, ew? Where'd that come frome, anyway, moving on...)

-You don't need to listen to your parents, your pastor, your youth leaders, and all thouse other people who try to tell you how to live. I mean, look at 'em, those incompetent hypocrites. Look at all their flawes and inconsistencies. This is your life. Live it your way. (Whoops, I've heard--and said this a thousand times, man.)

-Drinking, drugs, and sex won't really hurt you. All of those horror stories won't happen to you. It's just a big scare tactic. Adults just don't want you to have any fun--even if they had plenty when they were your age. They just want to control you. (Same goes for parents preventing you from having boyfriends/girlfriends. And for the parents who don't want you to go out. THe last two sentences have dawned upon me in more times that I can count, and this well, struck me like a bullet shot from telescoped gun. Wait, what? Heh. But the drinking, drugs and sex? Nah, not my area of expertise.)

-Do you really believe in "the devil"? Some red-skinned bald dude with a pointy tail and a pitch fork? An intelligent person like you? Get real--that's a myth. There is no devil, and there is no hell. And, by the way, there is no God or heaven, either. "Right now" is all there is. So, get yours while you can. (Wait a minute. FYI! Since 2 years ago, I have resolved that bald guys are hot. And no one dare contradict! VERY few people can actually pull it off, and if you can, then woah. *thump!* Okay, moving on. Well, that's a very wonderful technique. Squeezing in the "There is no God" part as a "by the way" statement. Like it's not important? Fuck you, devil. His greatest tactic and mission: Make us believe that he doesn't exist. And he has all eternity to pester us, man.)

-Come one, admit it: You have doubs about God all the time. If God was real, why would He allow these doubts to creep up inside your head? (Hey, hey, you, you, ~~I want to be your girlfriend!~~ if you ever took time to listen to Ms. Clarete, you'll know why. So listen while you've got the chance. I KNOW she's malabo sometimes, but if you listen, she'll actually make sense.)

-If there was a God who cared, would you feel as lonely as you do, as overwhelmed by life as you do, as powerless to change things?

Well, that's that. And for APA's sake, it's page 8, paragraph 2. I read that book for one reason and one reason alone: My sister told me she told my Mom who's angry at me that I read it and she advised me to read it or else. Ha! Then...now, I have a better reason. I actually like it. I never, in my entire life, imagined myself to be someone reading a self-help book. I mean, hel-lo? But well, I actually enjoyed it. I chose the book over Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, It Girl: Reckless, Hardy Boys 41 or 42 (Oo na, geeky to read it but I absolutely adore it--ever since I was in Grade 3! Heh.), Emma and Pride and Prejudice. That's how much interest the book sucked out of me. Why don't you try reading it?

Before I go, I'll have to say this. For all the make-up whores out there, change you mascare every month and your sponges every week. Okay? Thanks. That's what Jay Manuel said, I never knew that. But oh well. My mascara is 6 months old, FYI. And my sponge? Well, I don't really use a sponge. I like the liquid foundation better. But I don't use it. I use the translucent-bronzer-whatever from L'oreal. And speaking of whores, random information: I'm a ketchup/barbecue sauce/any other dense sauce-whore. Anyway, I guess I'm off.

PS. The little cartoon drawing of a devil is cute, but the old devil? No, man. Ew?

PPS. For future references. The P came yesterday. Okay, B? Happy. Mood swing.

11:02

ME and ME alone, ME-nie
Friday, August 10, 2007

All about ME by none other than ME.

A) Do you love me
or B) Do you love me?
None of the above, says he me he
For I'll go choose C
Which says I absolutely love thee
More than you say "you love me"
And to love thee shall be
The only loving that can ever be
With fireflies and a honey bee
In the light of the (big blue) sea
With the blinking cherry

And the incredible javoonee

O, ha. Impromptu poem. (!!!) Well, you know how I am, I write things only to be interpreted by me. You know, maybe, one hundred years from now, I'll be revered for my incomprehensible poetry that's supposed to be disected and analyzed for the meaning. Or maybe I'll be forgotten or remembered as the girl who doesn't make sense. But then again, William Shakespeare ~~doesn't~~ didn't really make sense. He's a genius because we analyze his poetry and we actually SEE meaning. Am I the next Shakespeare? Am I the next person to write a play full of ~~teenage stupidity~~ true love? I am! I am, well, the first Bianca. If I ever fail being a Shakespeare, (which, we all know, will be brought to light in 3...2...1...blast off. Bam. I am SO not gonna be the next Shakespeare. Point taken.) I'll compromise by showing you a poem by a REAL genius.

Death by John Donne

Death be not proud, though some call thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou kill me.

From Rest and Sleep, which but thy picture be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow

And soonest our b est men with these do go--

Rest of their bones and soul's delivery!

Thou'rt slave to Fate, chance, Kings, and deperate men,

And dost with poison, war and sickness dwell;

And poppu of charms can make us sleep as well

And better that they stroke. Why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we make eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die

Okay, okay, I am NEVER going to be the next John Donne. He makes sense, yeah. And I don't. So I'll keep my hopes up that I can be Shakespeare. Comment not if thy valueth thy life and shall not despise to desert this ground that is thus spent as sugar from the friar's granary. AND, thou shalt not think that I do not make sense. That's only okay when I say it. Oh, fine, alright. It's fine when you say it too.

Poetry isn't my thing.

Exactly.

But...

Yeah.

So we didn't have clubs today. Nuh-uh. No AFS, no rhetorics! Ha. We aren't doing rhetorics and british/asian parliament until second quarter. Beware, AFS. We had Chem and Algeb instead, because we had no classes yesterday! And last Wednesday too. Last Wednesday, storm or no storm, we wouldn't have classes. Teachers were to go to Laguna to observe some school, but wait! Were there classes? How could they have observed if there were no classes? Weird. So, anyway, everyone ended up without classes for two days, and yesterday felt like Sunday that when Tep arrived (unannounced, and I love Tep for saving me from dire boredom!!!), I was rushing so that we'll be done by the time we are to go to mass. But it was a Thursday. No mass, just TV. We watched the replay of the DLSU-ADMU game, because games were CANCELLED! My, my? Well.

And today, we went back to school, and tomorrow, we won't! Lovely do, Lovey doey. I'm gonna have painting! Then study for the shut-up-and-work subject a.k.a. the subject taught by the pregnant teacher. By the way, ~~Algebra is HARD.~~ (Positive attitude, positive attitude!) Algebra is easy. It's one thing to have positive attitude, but it's another to be a liar. So okay, Algebra is hard. *breath in* *breathed in* And well, Geometry test was cancelled today and we'll have it on Monday instead, together with Algebra. Is that torture or is that torture? None of the above. It's a crime. But we will manage. See? A positive attitude is not so bad.

Oh! And we cooked pineapple jam. IT WAS VERY YUMMY. Delicioso! Want some? Call me. *stucks out tongue* Bleh. Sure, you can have some. Come over! And, wait. But no! My stomach is rebelling! It's churning. It. Is. Not. The. Jam. Neither. Is. It. The. LASAGNA. Noooooo! Noooo! It's the, uh, water! Yeah. The water makes my stomach churn.

Guess what else happened today?

Yeah?

We did our monologo! Minus project. Ha. =)) We're do-o-one! Isa and Reich were with me. Isa was Tyago, Reich was Damaso, and I was Tasyo. ~~Some person apparently sold balots according to a certain polygon teacher.~~ Oh well. I merely shouted, but, but, I didn't get to do a variety of things! (!!) Boo. && I will do better next monologue. I suh-fucking-wear! Oh, right? Yeah. Bye, baby. Babies. My baby is ~~Dimpong~~ Charisse. ;) And I'm her Mommy.

PS! Maan ni Ryan! Congratulations to your Ryan for being one of the finalists for the NU contest! Hihi! :-* is in the air.

PPS! Happy Birthday Go, Richela, Mich, and Pau yester-yesterday! (08-08-07), and Bo yesterday (08-09-07) and An-duh-reeew tomo-tomorrow (08-12-07). And all the other celebrants I failed to mention! :) Like my Granmama (08-05-07)

Bee's off? Yeah, you bet! I'm FREE TONIGHT! I'm going to REST. :>

18:08

The Future...
Thursday, August 02, 2007

No classes tomorrow. Oh, what a joyous surprise! (Note the sarcasm.) Think about it, we should've had our Chemistry test this morning, but due to the little detail that everyone else will get another weekend of studying (Read: More time to study), she owed it to us to give us the same amount of studying. Aw, that's so sweet! I think she has a very incredibly compassionate heart, it's just that...that...I'd rather have the test today! I don't want another weekend of studying! I've spent more than enough time yesterday studying for ~~today's~~ Tuesday's test. Who to blame? ~~Gloria Macapagal Arroyo~~, the Malacanang!

Why did they have to cancel classes. Oh, right, registration for SK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE REGISTRATION PROCESS GOES, (or what I'm registering for?), but well, I'm not complaining that I've got an extra day to lie around and wait on my friends. (But, Chem test!!! Okay, Bee, think happy thoughts...endless movies...endless sleeping...endless chit-chatting with Tep and Sang ~~and Reg~~ and not Reg coz she's playing tennis...okay, mind set changed!) THANK YOU MALACANANG. But still, what IS the SK? Two months ago I would have killed to try my hand at that (after finding out what that is, of course,), but now, it just seems like a pathetic way to try and fill up my college application forms and more work. I really can't do that. I've got enough in my hands already. That, and the fact that my barangay is quite scary, people there, people here, tambay there, tambay here. Basically, it's not a lovely neighborhood. I'd rather not go out the house, much less to actually join the people who scare me enough to keep me grounded within my (very comforting compared to the streets) little house. So now, I don't give a damn about my college applications. I'd give them a spectacular (HA. Work on it, Bee. You can do it, just don't slack off.) report card! (Am I kidding myself? I'd like to think I am NOT, against my better judgment.) Oh hell. Yeah, right. Can I give them a spectacular report card? Well, maybe if I trade my name with Bless, Khisby...Haha! Illegal ways. But whatever. I'll give them BIANCA's report card, and if they don't want me, then SO. BE. IT. Their loss. I'd give them credentials! (Not particularly helpful though?) I'll tell them I was part of Events, Prom Documentary, Debate Club, Basketball Team, painted with oil on weekends, and studied computer programs. And to quote Lady Sovereign: Love me or hate me, still and obssession, love me or hate me that is the question, if you love me then thank you! If you hate me, then...FUCK YOU! Well. There.

Now where was I? SK? What the hell is it? Cayco wanted to be part of it. But then, that's Cayco. She's always wanted to be a politician, but me...Me? Politician? Lawyer? Must have some connection. But law is kind of more on the abiding by the law and defending the law and getting around the law while politicians (generally, okay?) are simply about disregarding the law and getting their wallets stuffed. But then, not all of them, just a couple who...whatever. GMA is great. And that's what I think. I think she's not after money or power. She's not even responding to the rumors circulating around about her. She just does her job. I admire her, god. But I don't think I'm fit to be a politician. Leave that to Caix (She's the good kind, not the corrupt, dearies. Chill.) and I'll debate and do my thing.

'Ya get?

And my thing: MOVIES. Tomorrow, Alyssa and Tep are coming over. Wait, Alyssa, are you coming over? Ditch tennis! Yay! Nauna tayo.

And PS, while we're discussing the future ~~of mankind~~ my teeny bitsy (not literal, ha, coz then I'd be a liar.) life, I'm having a major decision decided upon at this moments. My first son will be named Galicano. And that's final. Don't marry me if you don't want it. Get it? Now scram.

I need to reeeeest. Good bye. I was exhausted after the basketball training, and I must get to bed, NOW. I drank (and always do) 3-5 bottles or glasses of drink. Today: My water from my tumbler, my brother's C2, 2 bottles of gatorade, and 2 glasses of water. All within 2 hours after training. Not healthy, but I loooove the feeling of having cold liquids inside my mouth. Hmmm.

I'm sorry AFS, I can't do a thing about the Visual Plan 'till tomorrow. As said, tired!

20:28