Who's My Last?
Sunday, October 14, 2007

They say you'll have to live your today as if it was your last, but when do you actually know when your last will be? And trust me, for some people (ehem), not knowing when your last will be will drive theam to not live the days as if they're the last. Not until the day comes when you think will be the last will you really, truly think about things. And for me, that came today. A glorious Sunday, October...what date is it today? October, uh, 20 is Saturday, 20 minus 6...14! Yeah. It's October 14. Oh yeah, today was when PBA opened, so it most definitely is October 14. Anyway, moving on, around 6:35 PM, my Dad, Migo and I were walking to the church for the 6:30 mass. And as we were about to cross the road, I looked at the right. No car. And when I looked to my left, BAM! A TRUCK. ONE FOOT AWAY FROM ME. I could've died. It was so huge, it loomed over me, and my stomach was clenched like a big stress ball. And I thought of the things I have done and I have not done for my Mom, and the disappointments I caused my Dad, and the article Athena posted about Moms and Daughters. I thought I would die, but I kind of knew I wouldn't. For one, I wasn't one foot in front of it, I was one foot from its side. But still, it was close. And I was scared. As I walked through the doors of the church, I still thought of it. I thought of what would happen if I die? Who would go to my funeral? Who would regret it? Would it be a sad moment for just a few months? Weeks? Days? Then you'll all go back to your normal lives? A friend is just one of the friends, not the friend. I don't know who will, aside from my parents (the pain I might cause them if I die would give me pain that's more than theirs), feel the pain most. Who will?

And soon, I thought of my Dad. I thought of how bad I hurt him every time I fight with my siblings. And for the record, I always forget that every time doesn't have a space. And I finally, finally realized that grades are not what my Dad wants of me. He wants love for my sibs. I talked to the temporary driver last Saturday, and he has been working for my Dad ever since the beginning. More than a decade, more than two? And he told me of a side that Daddy has that I never knew existed. I knew he was kind, but I didn't know he was THAT kind. I officially labeled him my idol. But why, why didn't I get that kind heart? A day of reflection, that's what today is. Every time I see him sad, or even when he's smiling but his eyes are sad, I feel crushed. I somehow know that the only cause for that would be family. That would be us. Or his father. Or us in relation to his mother. Why do I think I know? Because everyone loves him, everyone he knows sees him as some sort of a hero, especially his workers, and especially the people he help everyday. So who else could cause him pain other than us? I for one am the only person I know who lied to him and he still loved. He doesn't like being fooled, according to the guy I talked to last Satruday. He wouldn't talk to them anymore unless they ask for forgiveness. And how many times have I tried to fool my Dad? Right. I never knew the gravity of my actions until now, until that moment the big white truck was one foot away from my face.

I don't want to hurt him anymore. And I don't want to think ill of my Mom. They're both human, and they're also both heroes. My heroes, yeah. I'm getting so mushy. They can NEVER ever see this. :) And lastly, the priest said: GRATITUDE IS LEARNED. Yeah, I should learn it. I must have gratitude built in inside me SOON.

Oh my God. Just as a note, Magnolia won. Ha. They're like an Ateneo Dream Team. I'm not sure if that's healthy. :-/ Air21 rocks too! Ahi. I'm so gonna watch the next games. I ttly forgot yesterday. All I did was search for old films (i.e. Audrey Hepburn flicks, Love Story, Grease, etc.)

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Book Whores and a Zealous Long Weekend
Monday, October 08, 2007

You know what? I am such a book frigging whore. BUT, I'm a whore for the wrong books. I haven't been reading Noli, and the test is on Wednesday! I haven't read Act V of Macbeth too, and the test is on Thursday. However, I am training on Wednesday instead of studying for Macbeth--I NEED TO TRAIN because I'm gaining so much unwanted starch deposits. But still, I'm still a book whore, I bought quite a number of books today. About 9 or 10 books, but in total the family bought about 20 books, and the total cost is P2,533. NOT KIDDING! P2,533 How's that possible? Power Books outlet store sale at Pasig! Go, now. It'll end at on October 14, 2007. You know where the Power Books warehouse is? I'll tell you. It's somewhere near Kapitolyo, beside Pioneer, at Brixton street. I loved it. I loved it so much I want to go back! So anyway, here's a photo of the books we got minus my Mom's and the free book. Yes, the free book. Everything is 20% off, and all the other marked items are either 50, 70 or 90% off.

And after that, I went to Shang to buy new shoes. I got this adorable pair of blue flats--glittered. I'm getting perkier and perkier by the minute. I'm starting to adore stars, just like my star-loving classmate Jana Casillan. I saw this ultimately beautiful top at Bayo (and I don't even like Bayo! I stopped liking it when I was in Grade School because their tops were so for-old-mothers), but then Trish wanted it. So I let her get it--which she didn't. Mom thought the color would be something that will make my Dad not smile--black. I loved it, black with little gold sparkling stars all over it. It's pretty loose too, great for a chocoholic who have not trained in more than a week, almost 2 weeks. I'll get that the next time I go out. I swear? Yeah. And for the record, the new Bayo clothes are extra fine. I was supposed to leave at 3:30, but my love of a mother and loves of sisters were overly zealous over the appliances-slash-bedroom models we passed by. We're moving. Yeah! But only 3 minutes away from here, still far, but still! I'll get to have my own ~~room~~ area with firewalls to ward off intruders. Ikzitid, much! And so we left at 4:30, and never got the chance to go to Cubao to get chocolates from Castillo. But I don't care! We went to Shopwise instead to get groceries. I have a new favorite snack: Holland Waffles (Caramel Flavor) Enjoy the difference! Mfd. by: The Dutch Windmil Bakery Inc. And it's cheap, just P21 for the big ones. Yum, yum, yum! I don't even think it's fattening. But even if it is, I don't care

And I should be working out now, since that's my assignment from Ms. Nen. However, I'm being too occupied by my other...commitments to work out. I'll do 100 push-ups tonight since I'm immune to them, and I can do as much as I want (fk you big arms :), but I can't do weights, really. Not now! My Dad's equipment is so...idle. Haven't been touched in months and I don't know where the little lollipop like that would control the weight of the metal you'll be carrying, and 10 pounds is not worth my time. : So better not do it anymore. And I've been out the whole long weekend. What have I been up to? Well, you'll see.

Friday was: Mass, Recess, Inspection and Rosary. I super-dee-dooper (Haha, Barney is a ~~dinasour~~ dinosaur from our imagination, and when...) hate inspections because without the consent of EVERYONE (which they did not have), it's against the frigging constitution. PS, you can actually sue AA for conducting an inspection without 100% approval. But who will do that? What a shameful student body. Me included. I don't want to go through all that hassle, ever again. So, do what you have to do and provide waivers! And after that boo-hoo moment, we went to TCEV to have try-outs for Waterpolo. But, I can't play. HAHA. Reason: sprain. I don't want to talk about it, because it's depressing! And about my foot, here's an update: It's HEALED. But I can't point it. I'm scared that it might be permanent. I think some muscle is stuck between the ligaments, or something. I need to have it checked if it doens't heal, since I'm going to MedCity on Saturday. The try-outs became a swimming hang-out. The ones who went were old Waterpolo members and they don't need to try out. WTH. :)) Not really, because they know how to do it already.

Saturday: Painting and band screening. Pictures will tell all. A few captions here and there.

Me, my sprained foot, my biggest painting yet and my tools

With Isachu

With Pamela!

I love the shirt. REALLY. I'm not weird, I tell you!

Watch their eyes. 2 cameras. Had me laughing. :))

HAHAHA. ALEC!

With Andrew!

New friends! This one's ~~Kelvin.~~ Elgin.

~~Trixie~~ Tricki! The overly awwzum vocalist! And Isa. And me. Did I get that right?

Ahi. :)) Lovers' whispers

Space Cadets! My vote's on you.
Plus their groupies and roadies. KIDDING!

With Alex Cada!

MORE PICTURES HERE! I can't put them all in my blog because. (:

Sunday: We went to mass REALLY early. 7:30 AM? I'm used to 10AM masses or 5:30PM ones. And because of that, I fell asleep as soon as I got home at around 8:30--and did not read the text messages from Faye and Cassy! Apparently, we're pushing through with watching the Finals Game 2! HAHA. When I did wake up, I had to rush making plans! But it was fun. The driver brought me, Trish and Mom to the Santloan LRT after the Pacquiao match, and he went to Gateway. I thought riding the LRT would bring us to Gateway faster--WRONG. He was already there and we haven't even ridden the train yet! TSS. Bad move. But I made it in time! The four of us watched the game, and we were sitting at Gen Ad! I must thank Ryan for the tix, he got it for us when I couldn't go get 'em myself. I still owe you. I'll pay you next time! Swear. ;) I looked fairly stupid, I tell you. I sat at the LS side because Faye and Cassy were for LS, but...I'm NOT! I couldn't bring myself to cheer for LS! Everytime UE (Ateneo!!!) scores or does something applaudable, I cheer! The only one cheering in a sea of green. And when I did attempt to cheer for LS, aba, binatukan ako ni Tricia. HAHA. Oh, right. I'm not for La Salle. BUT LA SALLE WON. I think I'm LS's lucky charm, not a good thing. Every single time I watch their game, they win! Juniors AND Seniors! WHAT THE. : Whatever, and so we went home. I didn't have pictures because the stupid security confiscated my frigging camera. ;) Stupid me, I never knew I wasn't allowed. Ha. =)) Gen Ad! >:)

And you know what happened to me today.

PS. Leo's getting an awesome birthday news gift. :))

20:22