Bumble Bee

One Time Big Time

2009-06-01T11:25:00.005+08:00

Wonderwall: It's a song every emo lovesick teenager believes they can relate to. (UrbanDictionary.com)

This is rare, `kay. This type of post. You won't see it again. You see, ever since I downloaded the Goo Goo Dolls discography and heard Iris, I've had this secret fantasy of hearing boy sing it while playing the guitar. Boy unknowingly fulfilled that fantasy by singing it out of the blue. :"> I'm still deciding whether or not that's more heart-warming than hearing Wonderwall back in September, with the from the bottom of my heart and you'll always have a special place dedication-slash-intro. Maybe they're on the same level.

Coz coz, Giyay & boy were conversing, and Giyay filled me in. Apparently, boy keeps on repeating, "Mahal na mahal talaga ko ni Bianca." I was like... O____o WOAH. Screw you. Lol. Then Giyay tells me, he was sincere, and said, "Alam mo soon, you''ll really find someone so precious na hinding hindi mo magagago, as in you just want to take care of her." And I think all my entire stomach disappeared and my knees wobbled and toppled me over.

Yeh, I love you too.
Thank you, my own personal asshole.
To time.
;)

You're not allowed to laugh =)) Give the lovesick ONE opportunity to be lovesick. Doesn't happen quite often. Won't happen ever again.

Now, I'm back to Kobe Bryant. My true BoySexy. (When he was still with O'neal. They're replaying the Finals from way way back) Ariza's not here YET but izokayyy.

Useless Calls

2009-05-31T11:10:00.002+08:00

My lucky purple and yellow underwear brought the Lakers to the Finals. Well, along with their superb skills, anyway. But I ... don't have blue/red/gold anything to bring the Cavs up the ladder.

I hate the referees.
Their profession is a profession of hate. Whatever they do, someone is bound to hate them.
And I hate Smith more than I hate Howard. Which is a lot, too. :( Except Howard seems really nice... EH. Still. They stopped LeBron. Not the Cavs, LeBron. It was LbJ vs the Magic. One on five, all the time. All along. All done.

:(( :(( :((

Fantasize

2009-05-27T19:13:00.004+08:00

It's disturbing how I dream so vividly. At times, even the physical aspect of dreams, like texture and taste, is as real as one can get. At times, they're blessings. Only until you realize they're dreams, and you sigh and wish it was real. At times, they bring very realistic suffering.

At around 3 or 4 in the morning, I escaped my deep slumber because it depicted scenes too hurtful for my weak self. I got the news that my father passed away, and I couldn't accept it. When I did try to process it, I burst out crying and wailed. I could see my entire family utterly idle. Their faces were blank. Then I saw my Dad walking with newspapers, saw me, and dashed off. Apparently, everyone was kidding me. They were all watching me suffer. I had to wake up, probably out of relief that the source of my potential Y chromosomes isn't going to be A) buried 6 feet under mud, or B) burned and reduced to a jar of dirt.

At 5:30 AM, I woke up again. I can't remember the exact details, but that the boy I'm with without the officiality of labels started telling me about these girls that he liked, who had no idea he liked them. They're named Marietta and Ronda. It was just like the times before we liked each other, and my dream-version of self realized it's him telling me he didn't like me anymore. So I woke up.

Around 3PM, I fell asleep. The dream was long, and vivid. My Mom locked me up in a room, without any form of communication. The place was this big university and I asked a friend to set up large videocameras so that I could see my Mom from places. Or was it her who set up the videocameras to see me? Anyway, my Mom was in leiu with my cousin Eliza who was partly on my side. Mom was asking Eliza to find the husband she wanted for me. He was a short, thin, really smart 14-year old. It was awful. And then Tep and Nela came to my room to wake me up, to tell my my grandmother was shot at the chest while praying at Quiapo, that she was in a critical condition and no one in the house bothered to wake me up and tell me. When I found out that my grandmother was safe, that was when my real self deviated from my dream self and I woke up.

A series of bad dreams could only foreshadow bad things. Today, it meant that the Cavs will lose.
I want a series of GOOD DREAMS tonight, so that the Lakers will win tomorrow.

My dreams are too vivid for my own good.

I'm Rambling About The NBA, So FckOff

2009-05-25T11:45:00.004+08:00

I shall write from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't sleep at night. Even if I do, I wake up at random ungodly hours. 3AM, 4AM, 5:30AM, 6AM, 8AM. I drift back to sleep and go back to my dreams. They're all very alike nowadays. They feel real. Very real. In the dreams, I even say how the previous dream was unreal and this one was. And then I wake up and realize that I was, in fact, still dreaming. And nothing was real. I lost all forms of social life.

Because of the sexy NBA.

8:30 AM everyday, BTV will allow me to enter the magical world of flat screen basketball. It crushes me, it lifts me up. I have 2 heroes: Kobe and LeBron. I'm completely in love with Kobe. While I'm astonished by LeBron. The Lakers is the best team, not because Kobe is the best (he is), but because they have the most number of exemplary players. I want to see the Cavs battle the Lakers in the finals because I want the Cavs to see that to win basketball, the need is not for one man to excel, but for the entire team. My semi-heroes are Mo Williams, Sasha Vujacic, Sasha Varejao and my sexy lover, Trevor Ariza. :"> Black guys are rarely hot, and Ariza is part of the rare.

Game 2 of the East Finals was amazing. Turkoglu almost saved his team, acquired a grave advantage. But he made one mistake. He left one second on the clock. He left LeBron life.

LeBron is the new 23. He's no doubt the more well-rounded player, Nash said.
Kobe is 24. twenty-three plus one is 24. He's the guy who should have the ball for the final shot.

I talk. Nonsense. (: I apologize.
But...the Cavs just lost!

On a more positive note, hello, we lasted half a year. It all began ~~three-quarters of a year ago~~ two and a half years ago. Hi, ho. Beat expectations.

This man is my hero. He keeps me jumping up and down and gushing like a fifth-grader. He makes the entire Lakers look good.

This is a king. He's probably the best player out there, and he has a team on his shoulders. He outscores his entire team for crying out loud. Which means the team will lose. They are too dependent.

This fascnated me, the entire Cavaliers wore these shoes to the Game 3 Eastern Conference Finals. It's so cute when the entire team's wearing identical shoes. :">

Surprise, surprise

2009-05-17T16:13:00.003+08:00

Who would ever, ever, ever foresee that I, the great god of non-music, will eventually find a soft spot for that spawn of the devil? In the course of five months, I managed to have my iPod overflow with things like Disney's Greatest Hits (3 CDs!), Fueled by Ramen staples, Old Rock (LedZep, Black Sabbath, Queen), Progressive (Circus Maximus, Europe), Things adolescent girls go gaga for (Jo Bros, HSM OSTs, Demi F`in Lovato), Things I need while reading (Suzuki violin school), Green Day (who--finally--released their 2009 album, currently downloading), 90s Pop (Backstreet Boys, N`sync, The Moffats), and yes, even F4. I mean, come on, who would've thought. The sad part was that I didn't listen to 90% of the music and played Topple, or Touch4, or Mancala, or Done Drinking, or, gulp, Solitaire instead. A few weeks ago, I realized I should start listening to my iPod, and now, I am! I can actually recognize the songs. While playing Solitaire. I can even find new groups now (albeit the fact that source of said new group was E!News): Tinted Windows! Hansom vocalist, Smashin` Pumpkins guitarist, Fountain of Wayne bassist, and Cheap Trick drummer, mix `em all together and you have this supergroup, Tinted Windows:

Now, all I need is more GIGABYTES. I think my iPod is a PC. @-) My own storage of tunes, instead of a mega playlist.

I can't believe I lived seventeen years without knowing anything about music.
I will surely live the next seventy not creating music. I simply have no gift. :)) I can marry a musician, you know.

For You, For Me

2009-05-12T14:02:00.004+08:00

Death has been foreign to me for years. I experienced it very rarely: My grandfather, my paternal great-uncle, a second-degree uncle, and a very dear cousin. Seventeen years, four deaths. It hasn't been a rough ride, I must admit. For a while, it will suck the strength out of me. After crying it out, I've always managed to bounce back.

It doesn't mean that the weeks following each death hurts a lot less. Because it does. It's true when they say words can never express the immense feelings of grief, and love. It's also true that these feelings are overwhelming.

I am overwhelmed. After the day of day full of pure joy that I experience yesterday, I would never have expected to be sucked out of the world today.

Tita Tuyang has always been a lovely, caring, friend. She hides her coke in neutral containers because she's forbidden to ever drink soft drinks again. At an age over seventy, she'd readily give up her seat to offer to young children. She spends a lot of her days inside the church, participating in various ways. She has loved me and gave me all the love she can possibly afford. She endured what people may never endure in the course of their lifetime. She took in two second-degree grandchildren whole-heartedly. Words can't even describe the immensity of the goodness reigning in her heart. I loved her, I adored her, she has been very dear to me. She was my Mom's rock.

Ten minutes ago, I found out she passed away.

I felt all the energy vaccumed from my entirety. All the memories of her came rushing back. Moving on without her laid itself before my eyes. I couldn't breathe.

It didn't sink in. It hasn't sink in. It wouldn't sink in.

I laughed with her a lot when we saw this picture, two years ago.
Death will not end your love for us.
Death will not end our love for you.
Rest peacefully.
I love you.

Jitter Bug

2009-05-10T20:19:00.006+08:00

It's funny how near and far can mean exactly the same things, when it's a pair of antonyms we first learned about in first grade. What our teachers failed to inform us of is the fact that the nearer a person can be to another, geographically speaking, the farther they seem if there is no chance to interact with said subject. The sad concept of so near yet so far is biting me in the ass and laughing at my face for quite a number of days now. It applies to both geography and chronic placement. School refuses to teach us the things that will matter most, they give us instruments in learning these mundane goo of ideas, or ideals, whichever.

The strangest part of it all is that I'm not bothered. I got used to so near so far that even the very thought of possibilities appeases the little wars inside my head. It makes me think if I really am into it as much as I say I am. Does not caring mean you're less passionate, or does it simply mean you got over the shallow parts and matured, in a sense? Then again, who's to tell?

There's no reason for anyone to exist. Somewhere in the stars, there are little green creatures who can take over us anytime. But then we remain flesh and blood because we refuse to give up our backyards and little articles and trifles. We, therefore, have more time to figure out the necessary, and the unnecessary.

It has come to my attention that I have no skill whatsoever in linking my paragraphs, so pardon me for talking about the infamous day of mothers. Today, my siblings and I gave our Mom four things. First, a ceramic display that says: We Believe In Miracles! Second, a wooden cross with her favorite prayer written all over it: The Prayer of Jabez. Third, the gift bag for the first. Fourth, the gift bag for the second. (Haha.) We gave our grandmother a square ceramic with a quote engraved on it, and a box of God's promises. Tonight, she told me she already had the box of God's promises, her nephew gave it to her. Oh, crap. But it's the thought that counts, always.

Eating lunch was quite an experience, as it usually is with my family. There's the eleven-year-old pouting and hating the world. There's the eight-year-old hogging all the food. There's the fourteen-year-old surveying the situation and secretly coming up with nasty (albeit smart) comments. There's my father joking with the staff. There's my Mom thinking of what to order. And then there's me, anticipating the trip to the restrooms immediately after the meal. My bowel movement, I must say, is in good shape. We went to Serendra afterward, we're a family completely absorbed by books. I bought two new books today: Lolita and Shakespeare's Scribe. The first one's about a pedophile, which Vinci suggested I get without telling me about the disturbing pedophile part, only telling me it was one of the best novels of the century. Which, naturally, will make me want to buy it. The latter is a sequel for a novel Ms. Arcilla, now Mrs. Mendoza, lent me back in Grade 7, Shakespeare Stealer.

I've talked too much, it's time to say Sayonara. I'm excited for Enchanted Kingdom, tomorrow, friends! :-* I've been bitten by the jitter bug.

He eats too much. :-h Migo

Don't mind my cheeks & round head, `kay.

I look sabog, with Mom & Arianne

Migo&his face. Dad & Trish.

Aw. Happy mother's day! (Spot Arianne. She wasn't making a face, she was mad :P)

T-Shirts

2009-05-08T21:20:00.003+08:00

When did you start tearing us apart. Tearing us apa-a-a-a-art.
I will write you a song, that's how you know my love is so strong.
It's our time now.
I've got your loving.
I wanna take. You. Down.
It's what you do to me-e-e-e. Ohh.

I can't write when Plain White T's is blasting (softly playing) in the background because the instrument of the modern relationships (desktop) must be kept running while downloading Rock&Roll legends. Why I'm downloading the pinnacle of loud music and exotic instrumentals is quite a mystery. Translated: Partly known. I saw a note I wrote four calendar flips ago, it says: Download this. Reason is simple: I must revive my life through integrating the outside world into my sad sorry life of solitude.

Black Sabbath discography: 1 week, 1 day; BAD.
Guns N' Roses: 2 days, 12 hours; BETTER
Led Zeppelin discography: 5 days, 13 hours; BEARABLE
Queen (Greatest Hits): 4 hours, 59 minutes; THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

The sad thing part is this: I have a total of two thousand, one hundred and one songs in my iPod. I just wanted to type everything because it's longer that way. But really, out of the ~~2,101~~ two thousand, one hundred and one songs in my iPod, I probably know...fifty song titles and even less lyrics. Sore, sad, loser. Well, I will resurrect from this demise and actually embrace the very concept that can never be embraced by a particular Bianca: Records.

I don't write about relationships, because it's embarrassing. I want to spit out a few of the forsaken sentences I jailed inside one of my limbs, or blood vessel, or prefrontal cortex, but I can't. It will be destruction. I say this, though: I jump from rebellious to touched to furious to humbled to head over heels to indifferent to truly madly. People need affection, people do. No, not really, girls do. You know what, there's one image I can never, ever, imagine to exist, is men in love. They all seem so...manly and worldly, I can't picture the Y-chromosome bearers to be crazy about a particular girl. It's just...off. It's a girl thing. But certainly that's not true and my imagination is relatively limited.

It is currently filled with Tom Cruise's unfading glory. Which makes his lack of height unfading, too. But then again, height is isn't everything. (It took the entirety of my will to write that.)

I'm not making any progress. I pity the months I didn't write, they're not part of my Blog Archives. :(

P.S. My T-shirts are lost. I can't find them. They're either A, in my Mom's closet, or B, stolen. Which is more likely?

I, Resurect

2009-05-08T13:50:00.003+08:00

I have decided not to write anything substantial, or spontaneous, for that matter, on my multiply blog and let my fingers direct my new words here instead, just like old times. Two reasons, really. One, writing in multiply seems to force people to write in a manner that will illicit comments, which subconsciously edits the words. Two, I'm going on a social networking partial hiatus, only opening multiply in order to store (and, admittedly, view) photos. I, however, can not live without reliving my live through a computer screen, thus the resurrection of this blog.

Summer, I must say, is crazy, in a manner different from the craziness of the previous years. In a sense, the craziness comes from the lack of crazy happenings. It's craziness is due to the fact that it is the last summer until my retirement, which isn't as promising as it should have been. I've been arranging requirements for Ateneo, and failing ultimately. I also spent two weeks in a basketball clinic especially established for kids, yet it also welcomes the older kids who have nothing better to do. In other (harsher) words, kids who have no life of their own. The sad thing was that I spent half of those sessions, well, not in session, frolicking in the grounds and grass of my new school, and/or sleeping on a wooden bench somewhere on campus.

I'm looking forward to: SHOPPING FOR SCHOOL. As ridiculous as it may sound, due to the third word (school), I still believe being excited for it is sensible, due to the first word (shopping). There's a bag I'm absolutely wanting: A black and gold backpack I found in The A Shop. It thrills me to use a backpack, I have never used a backpack as my permanent school bag since ... well, freshman year.

I can't wait for: ENCHANTED KINGDOM! I'm going to EK with my friends, and that's all that matters. It could be better, really, if more people are to be present. But as it is, I have to take what I can get. All hail friendship.

One funny thing is the fact that I'm currently busy looking for Album Artwork, and waiting for BitTorrent to speed up my downloads. Seven months ago, I never would have fathomed a version of me interested in music. As it is, I'm not an avid fan of IsoHunt. However, no one must ask me if I know any of the songs in my iPod, because you won't be getting a positive answer. My iPod lives mainly for Solitaire. Er, games, I mean.

Sayonara, till the next day I think of anything more interesting than my own existence. >:D<

I Begin Again

2009-04-23T19:52:00.001+08:00

I think I should blog here more often. Instead of multiply. Because it makes a lot more sense, y'know?

But not now!

I hafto meditate and think of things I wanna write about, things that make sense, and things that matter. Not just...you know. I went to this and that and when and where I want to blah blah blah.

:-*

Later!

Failed Me

2008-08-18T17:14:00.001+08:00

Because multiply failed me. I think I have to say this.

I'M ADDICTED WITH JOINING DEBATE TOURNEYS!

We need to learn. Really, really, really need to learn. :((

2 solutions:
1) Coach
2) Cross-trainings

=))

Last Saturday, we joined our first debate. And...we lost by technicality. I'd like to bow down to Cara and her team tho. Their loss was the one that shall persist to be the most hurtful =))

TECH.

KNEE.

CALL.

LY.

TEA.

=))

Please, allow us to join IDeA and NAsHDC!

Agglomerate

2008-08-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

Okay, screw two-posts-ago. The files of my brain need to be agglomerated properly.

The ice biting my skin is not the last ante-EntranceExamInnocent thought. It's not even going to be Eric Foreman's pretty blue eyes. Nope.

It's this: ONE WHOLE YEAR JUMPED OUT OF THE BAG.

It's been one whole year since that fateful moment.

That fateful moment.

It was me thinking: "UPCAT, only one more year to go."

Which was when the thought "I'm only taking the UPCAT for the heck of it" crossed my mind. At exactly the same moment. I think I'm bionic, I had two thoughts at once.

But think no more, B. You have to STOP. Reserve all your thinking for tomorrow: The day I take the survey that would determine my ability to compete with students I don't know, who don't know me and don't know that I don't mind not knowing them and mind that no one would care to know that I know nothing because nothing should be minded and that in itself should be minded.

I didn't make sense.

Point is, it's been a year since I thought there's only one year left. That one year had passed, not very gracefully, but not very bumpy neither. "It passed" is the operative phrase. And I sure wish that would be the operative word for my future state of being (on January, or December? A little help here, when do DL release their results?)

A whole year since IT. The moment I thought THIS moment was too far to worry about. I think I remember being in Galleria that day, looking at books or getting letters. I was there with my Mom eating at Pizza Hut when post-UPCAT takers sent GMs about their fleeting load. And I said, "I can't wait till it's my turn, why is it taking so long?"

=))

So juniors, don't you DARE think a year is long.

Because a year is just 365 days, really. Just wake up to 365 more sunshines and voila, it's your year.

(Too much illogical derivations in this post, but don't you dare point that out. HAHAHA.)

Here's A Thought

2008-08-02T15:30:00.002+08:00

I want to migrate. I want to begin again. I think it would be cool to be a new student. To be around people who know nothing, absolutely nothing about you. I can be back to square one! Imagine how that would be. I mean, you can reinvent yourself! You can be someone else...

You can be someone you've always wanted to be.

But then again, to do that, I have to leave the country, MY country. I have to give up loving our Mother. And that's unacceptable. And selfish.

But I AM selfish.

It doesn't matter, though. Coz I'm never migrating. NEVER. Not in this lifetime, not in the next. At least as long as I'm a minor and living under my Dad's roof, but that's another matter. :))

But seriously, I'm practicing in the Philippines. This is MY country.

BUT. I REALLY WANNA TRY BEING SOMEONE OTHER THAN WHO I AM NOW.

Oh, wait. That's what college is for. And oh yeah! Furthermore, that's what passing Entrance Tests are for! WOW.

But it's still different.

Oh, can it, B. Watch more of Fez & Hyde and be happy.

Mandatory

2008-08-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

Because I was advised to write down the last thought of the last antecollegiate-experience experience down.

Tomorrow, 12:30 PM, College of Arts and Letters. Tadan! First ever Entrance Test and I'm NOT prepared.

I have two pencils, an Exam Grade eraser and an Exam Grade sharpener due to Isa's advise and comment about the Exam Grade sharpener ("It sharpens well!")

I found a little ruler, and I asked my grandmother to get me gum, a bar of chocolate, and three more pencils.

And oh yeah! I'm watching That 70's Show.

I'm dead nervous.

Dead.

Nervous.

Like dead.

Cold and white.

Hanging on a ledge.

Well, mostly cold. I don't know why it's ALWAYS so cold nowadays. My arm is freezing. I feel like the wind from the electric fan are flakes of ice! And I'm not even exaggerating.

And I'm taking the UPCAT tomorrow. Yay me. Sarcasm is handy at times. I'm not even going there and I'm nervous! Scarlet crow. I even forgot that the course that I got was Fine Arts. OH HELLO THERE, MAY TALENT TEST PA PO ITO. HAHAHA.

What did I get myself into? :))

...

...

...

...

Okay, I'm freezing.

That's my last thought. Maginaw.

I'm Into Distance

2008-05-26T20:30:00.003+08:00

ACK. I HAVE A STALKER CRUSH :"> OMFG. Hahaha! I just had to share. This is what...the first time since ah...I was 13 years old that I had a friggin' crush on a complete stranger.

:"> Grace, I swear I'll marry him when I grow up...if you don't get the dude first. And yes, he's the one I'm talking about. HAHAHA. Kidding. As if. :)) But oh wow, I'm overwhelmed that I can go back to being the silly little (re-la-TIVE!) that I used to be.

HAHA.

I.
Am.
Marrying.
Him.
When.
I.
Grow.
Up.

But first, I have to meet the dude.

Must.
Go.
To.
Australia.

HAHAHAHA. =))

God, this is low and pathetic :"> :)) Lawl. Forgive the silly little girl hidden behind my cerebral cortex, who just happened to show up ah, two days ago.

Silly girl, wake the frk up :-*

AND OH YEAH BY THE WAY, after shoving peanut brittle into my mouth, my sister showed me this link. (It's ah, the about the book shinanigan of Skinny Bitch.)
"If you can't take one more day of self-loathing, you're ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight."

OH GOD, THANKS A LOT. Not eating. Starting next week? Uhm. ASA. :))

Jelly beans are exceptions. :"> (In all the senses of the word--ehem.)

I'm old enough to go to Aussie on my own. But god, not rich enough, babe. BROKE TO THE BOTTOM. =))

Unwanted Hole

2008-05-25T20:02:00.002+08:00

I feel so incredibly stupid.

Facepalm. D'oh. To the !!!! exponent slash power slash degree.

Today is/was (whatever) the last day of the blessed Adidas/Nike Mega Trade Hall (shit) Sale. And we went there after getting school shoes and chocolate and mass. I decided to get knee sleeves today. :)) Oh, happy, happy! To protect my deranged knees from getting further beatings. I have a ginormous number of scars from basketball games on my knees, holy. I got my knee sleeves for, what, 50 or 60 percent off? Yay!

Hold that thought.

End rejoicing here.

Guess the FRK what! I got completely different ones. Agh!!! One was closed-patella, and the other was open! HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS. :| :O Can anyone get any more stupid? Holy. :)) Nakakapikon, like, SWEAR. It looks STUPID.

But what the hell. STYLE YUN. :|

Oh, please!

2008-05-23T16:34:00.004+08:00

Wence's multiply site says: If you want the rainbow, you should put up with the rain.

And holy mother of Jesus, it's raining like hell. Woah, I just used "Jesus" and "hell" in the same sentence. I must be nuts if I notice those trifles.

It's raining, it's boring, the sun ~~isn't shining~~ --. I just realized that I don't know the lyrics to the song. And that's a what? A nursery rhyme.

It's cold and I need to do SOMETHING and I'm stuck home. I wish I were somewhere else, probably Megamall so that I could've been with Trish after she takes her violin lessons--so that I could share my new discovery, d'oh. Not some mushpit I-love-my-sister act. We just...don't, okay? Or Ali Mall, so that I could go to Nokia Service Center to have my phone fixed! ANYTHING BUT HERE. All be damned! :-O

~x(

I'm...bored out of my wits and my wits aren't even functioning. There's this plot Trish's trying to make me turn into a story, but I need inspi-fuckin'(haha, Ms. M, in yo peys)-ration to even BEGIN. And I just don't have that.

And oh yeah?

I have a course. Legal friggin' Management for Ateneo and UST, and Econ-LM for DL. Ironically, it's for UP that I have not a single fragment of an idea of a course, and it's the one with the Application Forms due on June. Great.

I wanna cut reviews too, for crying out loud. Tomorrow. Who the hell is up for it. I wanna try it ONCE, despite Cassy's warnings to NOT. To just NOT. :)) Maybe I'll never do it. Lawl.

I need to get my UP Application Form. Tomorrow. I wish the school's open tomorrow.

I WANNA GO OUTTTTTT. =))

Please, please, please, get me out of this state of immobility!

For Crying Out Loud

2008-05-16T22:20:00.001+08:00

I'm dying of boredom and hyperactivity combined. I'm not even sure if that's possible. I'm bored thus I'm restless thus I'm squirming at just about every single moment I can possible squirm. Hey, that's not good for my grammar. I just had English Day 2 in Experts this morning. And it was...okay. I still salute Faye for perfecting the stupid English test during her reviews. :))

For the past 2 weeks, I would assume, I'd been waking up at the unfathomable hour of 6 in the (fuckin') morning to leave at precisely 6:30 AM. Okay, I'm lying. I do my hair for five minutes THEN get my recess THEN leave with Teptep, so we usually take off at 6:45 AM and get to Kostka after a little under an hour. That's Teresa for you. Come over and let Tep and I show you the a portion of the rural areas left in the godly country of the Philippines.

Routine is as follows, I eat chocolate for recess and get restless. Then I take the test or listen to the teacher and talk at the same time. I'm seriously considering that I do have ADHD. What do you think? Wow. Then reviews end and we're soon off to McDo or Wok or Jollibee but never Shakey's or the like because we're all dead BROKE. =))

And then I go home and be bored again, thus repeating the whole process all over again. I read mostly, and finish books. Or text? Oh god, thank God my phone is now ALIVE again. Regardless of the fact that it's the (WONDERFUL) K700i that's alive.

I should be sleeping now. We have a LONG day tomorrow. Whole day, OMFGWTH.

AGHHH. Got to go. I need to WRITE. But I need to READ first. Read something overflowing with sarcasm to get my mood going. :P

Would I!

2008-05-13T21:02:00.010+08:00

I get this a lot. The stares. The questions. And yes, even the eyebrows. Ever since I cut my hair THIS short, people don't recognize me. It's...tiring. But whatever, I like the length, I just miss the extremely LONG hair.

Most popular reactions (in no particular order):
1) Bianca? Ikaw ba yan!
2) Shit, mukha kang lalaki.
3) *Stares at face* Bianca?
4) Tibo!
5) WHAT DID YOU DO?
6) Why? May sayad ka ba?
7) Oh my god. Boy!
8) Ang panget mo! Gaga!
9) I like the long hair better.
10) *Stares* *No words*

The gist? Shock. Boy. Pahabain mo ulit.

HELL. I'll tell you what really happened. :)) My mother hated the way my hair was so unmanageable and she seems to blame the cut for it. So, she took me to the salon to have it fixed. I ~~didn't realize~~ forgot that there's nothing to cut anymore...as my hair was SHORT. So yeah. I ended up having a pixie cut. Well, that's how I would call it. Most people would call it the Tibo hair. Or the boy hair.

News flash: I'm straight.

So if you go looking for me, don't go looking for this:

Geez, my hair was long!

You know what, I've always wondered, what if I was a boy? How would I look like? I tried pinning my hair up to find out, but I never did succeed. Until now. So yeah, if I was born a boy, I would probably look like this:

BUT SERIOUSLY. I doubt that anyone would see me dressed that way. Eww, god. I try to look like a girl, okay? :> Honestly, I really do. I just...fail with the jacket sometimes. Now I really should invest in heels and tanks.

Well anyway, I shall move along and read. I've read a LOT of books since summer started.

The Magician's Nephew; Persuation; The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe; Love, Stargirl; Hardy Boys #41; Hardy Boys #42; Girl, Missing; Six Steps To A Girl; Flush; Twilight; New Moon; Eclipse; Once and Always; I can't remember anymore. I need a fresh supply of books. :| =)) I need a fresh supply of CHIC LIT AND CLASSICS. I haven't bought in a WHILE.

Internet novels: Regan, White, and Seven Deadly Sins; Trouble Starts With A Q; Reason and Romance; Reason and Romance Redux and a lot more.

This is where NERDOM comes in. Welcome to the world of nerds.

Coffee Princess

2008-04-28T10:12:00.003+08:00

My break from strenous activity was prolonged unexpectedly. I slept at 4:30 AM ~~last night~~ this morning, unaware of time because of the infamous Twilight (which was disappointing but I should get to that later on). I would be lying if I said I did that out of the impecable ability to remain awake. I drank coffee, of course. Without really needing to. I drank it merely because we seemed to be lacking Swiss Miss, and I so very much craved for the peppermint I usually add to the hot drink. So I settled for coffee. Which made me VERY uneasy.

My sleep wasn't good, it wasn't good at all. It was awful. I couldn't help but realize that I was half-awake the whole time, while dreaming about vampires (THANKS A LOT, Ms. Meyer). When I woke up, I was waiting for the alarm to sound. Although I'm not quite sure if that could be counted as "waking up", since I didn't really "sleep" at all. (What, I'm turning into a vampire now?) The alarm didn't sound, screw that. I checked the time, 7:17. OF ALL THE GOD-GIVEN MISFORTUNES. :| I had set the alarm for 7:20. Anyway, I woke up from the cold. (I'm ignoring the improper use of "wake up".) I was shivering, but I was sweating. I was freezing under the scrutinizing breeze, but I was burning from the heat. What. The. Hell. I had an internal battle whether or not to rise up and take a bath and get ready for training. My Mom told me not to train. That I should rest. I did as I was told. But not before taking my phone to text Coach...only to find a text message that says training was cancelled. So much for missing training. :P I think I owe fate big time. I'll try to repay you, you kiss of death.

Anyway, I didn't sleep. I decided to write. I'm itching to write a story. Just to get the words and metaphors out of my system and into something actually worth reading. Not a blog entry that's an excuse to get streams of words out. Oh MAN. But I need a plot! I desperately need a plot. And I need to learn more about the natural goings-on of an average person's life. Mine is way too constricted. Or I can write about that. Oh well, whatever. I won't have time to write that anyway.

Moving on, Twilight. It wasn't as good as they promised it would be. I was disappointed. Now, that's an understatement. It was a beautiful love story. It used sarcasm very wisely, too. But I couldn't help but compare it with works I've read before...OVER THE INTERNET. Well, that was an unfair comparison. But the sarcasm... Hmm, or maybe it's the plot. It's a cliche, which is maybe the point. The only outstanding fact was that he was a vampire. But other than that... All the rest are fairly plain. But I'm reading it. Reading it because it got me hooked, coz cliches usually do that to me. :P And I'm reading the sequel(s), because I can never bear reading something and not finishing it. It feels like I'm depriving myself of entering another world. It's like I'm getting a grasp of a cake, but only tasting the garnishing before indulging myself fully. It leaves me hanging. Wanting for more to read.

Which is precisely why I'm signing off right now to read The Chronicles of Narnia. WHY CAN'T I READ ONE OF MY READING LIST'S BOOKS INSTEAD? Oh, right, I'm totally broke. :P

PS, due to the unwanted response my body suddenly collapsed into, I now hate coffee. Unless of course, it's exam day and it morphs into my best friend once again.

Health-O Screams

2008-04-25T19:13:00.002+08:00

As I saaaaid, today is the only day since April 7, 2008 (and shall go on and on until May 31, 2008) that I can acquire a shut-eye until the sun is way above our heads, so I'm making the most out of it. Translation: narrating observations.

Really, I used to imagine my house as a place where good food reigns. Good, healthy, body-friendly and tongue-friendly indulges. It should have a kitchen with sweet, sweet oats, pasta that is most definitely NOT 95% oil, pizza that isn't composed of fat-inclusive ingredients, my Mother's home-made cookies and pies, and warm tea for the adults (as Migo puts it, but really, I drink tea and much to my dismay, I'm not considered an adult just yet).

But all good things must co-o-ome to an end, co-o-ome to a end.

Thanks to my god damned grandmother, the health freak in me is in riots. (And I'm just using that term of endearment to express my disappointment, she isn't really damned by our generous God) I know, I know, you can point fingers and scream that my diet is not exactly as healthy as Isa's is, but hell, at least I don't drink ice cream or splurge on chips and grease. I actually eat healthy food, when I get into my senses and actually eat that is. But that's besides the point. Yesterday, I found an almost-empty bottle of 1.5 litres of EVIL Coke-Zero snuggled within the cold realms of our refrigerator.

Coke. Fucking. Zero.

Soft drinks, in the Ruiz refrigerator. For a while, I thought my health-freak of a mother had gone insane. There's softdrinks in our refrigerator? I thought my father bent his rules against softdrinks after 17 years of its strict implementation.

Until tonight, that is. Migo, my darling of a little brother, opened the Frigidaire* refrigerator today and found Coke Light inside. What, it's not Zero anymore? What's next? Real live Coke? For crying out loud.

Migo: Uy! Coke!
Nanay Lily: Binili yan ng Nanay...sa tindahan sa baba *grins like a proud sheep*
Migo: Hindi kaya. Si Ate Nene bumili nito.
Nanay Lily: Ako.
Migo: Nakita ko kaya siyang bumili.
Me: *faked snorts to conceal my laughter*
Nanay Lily: But it's my money. I bought it.
Me: Nooo. Si Ate Nene bumili, kaya hindi ikaw ang bumili.
Arianne: ...

:)) CULPRIT DETECTED. The names of my LOVING PARENTS are cleared! THANK GOD. For a moment, I thought I lived in a different galaxy.

I do solemnly swear that if I see one more additional bottle of soft drinks in my father's Frigidairei* refrigerator, I will confront the Supreme Authorities (aka parents) at once.

*Frigidaire got me LAUGHING like crazy. =)) I never knew it was a friggin' brand. I thought it was SLANG for refrigerator, for crying out loud. :)))))))) Until I saw the brand name on the refrigerator. I stopped laughing and felt like an idiot. :| THANKS A LOT, MEDIA.

Sweet Slumber

2008-04-25T13:52:00.005+08:00

Today's the first day in more than 2 weeks that I slept in. Fine, 3 weeks. I used to wake up DEAD EARLY (dead early, I tell you) for 2 whole weeks. Weekends included. :)) And now, for the FIRST TIME IN ALONG WHILE...

I slept till noon. Do you KNOW how GOOD that feels? Ohhh woooow.

And that shall not happen again till God knows when. June 1, I guess? Tomorrow, house blessing. Sunday, MASS and AFC fest (I intend to watch my sister, thank you very much) :P Monday, training, April 29-May 5: 3G League, May 5-May 31: Reviews. Now, you may say...WHAT ABOUT SUNDAYS? I go to mass 7:30 AM on Sundays.

But I (think) I love what I'm doing...so yeah. I want to write; really, I do. I just can't. Time's just too pissed with me it ran off with some random stranger who had a motorcycle and a black leather jacket. Okay, metaphor not intended to insult.

I shall catch up with you guys as soon as I can. :*

I'm scared. OF A LOT OF THINGS. So are you.

Que sera, sera.

PS, if you want to watch ANY of the games (3G league), tell us! ANYONE OF US--the team--coz you can't enter unless you're on the list. And to get on the list, Coach needs to send your name over to them. SO YEAH.

Adults!

2008-04-13T13:41:00.000+08:00

In the midst of eating mangoes, potatoes, Snyder's of Hanover (no, this isn't colored yellow), and lots and lots of water, I found myself reading Reason and Romance ( by Myrika @ FictionPress). I stumbled upon a line that had me nodding and raising my eyebrows. :)) Thought I'd share it with all of you teenagers out there.

And that was when she truly knew what it meant to be a kid. She could rant all she wanted, but they were deaf to her complaints, no matter how valid the complaints were. -Adrian Blake

And damn me to hell if that's not true. :> Yes, yes, yes, teenagers are idealistic. And the youth are have crazy ideas. But don't you guys get it? We've got so much crazy antics up our sleeves it just might work.

All hail crazy.

(And boo to the tradition-whores who call themselves adults. Kidding, not all of them are that bad. :P Just some random middle-aged women with rolls of fat in their stomachs. Maybe. And oh, I just learned, Maybe always means yes. Do read Carl Hiassen, his books are overflowing with incredible wit it knocks me off my feet.)

Hold Up

2008-04-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

Exactly when I got to fix everything with the two supreme authorities of my short life (next to the creator, of course), she just had to open up all the wounds and rip the peace off their chests.

GREAT.

Now it's back to square one. Back to the cold shoulder and the silent treatment and the check ups with how I'm doing. I FIXED IT, MAN. It took me 2 whole months to bring back what I lost due to that rather unfortunate misinterpretation that little tribal gods whipered to Supreme Authority #1's head, which enraged Supreme Authority #2. 2 WHOLE MONTHS. Gone to waste.

All because she had to dip her dirty fingers into my affairs. My personal affairs.

It's a cycle, really. You mess up, you fix it, somebody messes it up for you, you mess it up again coz you have no more strength to go on, and realize you need to fix it so you do, then someone brings it up again. And so on. I should make a bracelet with colors symbolizing the big, big cycle, you know. And tie it around my wrist to remind me that it's a continuous circle. When you reach the dead end, you start again from the, well, dead beginning? LOL.

Anywayyyy. No names, love. So I'm not violating their code of honor or their dignities or hurting their pride. That's their duty. Apparently. To get the scoop and like little paparazzis jump and run off to the Supreme Authorities like excited little toddlers who found out that Santa gave them a Barbie Doll.

My point: My life, I fix it, she ruined it again for me. I can fix it without her help, thank you very much. At the rate things are going, she just shattered whatever peace I establish.

AND I CUSS, GET OVER IT.

This is me, and let me live my life the way I want to. I'm not telling you how to live yours, I'm just telling you to get the FUCK out of my life. You're DONE. And yes, I said FUCK again. I CUSS. FACE IT. I'm not your perfect little English Rose. I'm much more than that.

=))

For the first time in my whole entire life, my card has been held. :|

Thanks for teaching me a valuable lesson, never trust anyone. >:D< You're the best. (Yes, sarcasm is handy at times. To think I defended you.)

P.S. I'mNotRuiningYourFaceOrYourReputation,IDidn'tEvenSayWhoYouAre.IfYou'reGuilty,That'sYourProblem. :P Have a nice life. (Again, sarcasm IS handy.)

P.P.S. I'm not violating my blog rights. You violated mine. :P

Gloria

2008-04-03T18:10:00.004+08:00

Are you a Filipino? Come see this, then.
Well, actually, whether or not you're a Filipino, you can still click and watch.

I have no idea how this can be considered a PROTEST. I honest to goodness am quite amused, and sordidly ashamed of this, how do I put it, idea of a joke? I don't know what to make of it, this dancing-to-protest? I can't see the "interpretetiveness" of the Interpretative Dance. Am I alone in this? Or are all my other countrymen raising their eyebrows?

Well, there IS something positive here. They filled my afternoon with genuine laughter. At least they got part of what they aimed for--attention. Just not the way they wanted to get it. Sorry.

Wait a minute. This is quite disturbing. I don't know how we can turn everything into a joke. Well, it's a feat we've mastered quite well, given that we're the best entertainers in whatever bright lights city is in at the moment. Congratulations.

One thing's missed though. There's a time and place for singing and dancing. And it's not protesting. Politics is a serious matter here and for the rest of the world, albeit the fact that it's a business here in the Philippines. And our ability to treat something so serious with such, what's the word? Such, hmm, an attitude of optimism (not to good kind) is just mediocre and shameful. :| We're as bad as the politicians who sing jingles during their campaigns. If you compare the campaigns in the States and here, you'd probably bow your head in shame. There, Clinton and Obama and what have you are delivering speeches and shit. Here, they sing and dance. Ja-ja-ja-jamby! What have you. Oh yeah, I forgot. Politics is a business. =))

In the movie Chinatown, the lead actor (who I fail to remember by name) said at the end, "Hey, it's Chinatown."

All I can say about this exhibit of ignorance (forgive the harsh reality of the words, amen) is this: Hey, it's the Philippines.

Then again, maybe I'm the ignorant one.

Bless us.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I first saw this in PerezHilton.com, under the category SILLY. Thanks a lot.

Gender Roles

2008-04-02T10:57:00.001+08:00

I had a dream. We figured out the male counterpart of Six Steps To A Girl. BUT GOD, I FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE. :| I swear, it was reasonable. All I remember was "TOYS" and...and...GOD I CAN'T REMEMBER. :| Dream with me again, toys? :)) Rarr. ANYWAY. Frustration over that dream (Revenge is a dish best served cold, we gotta know, y'know?) led to Chezka's and Anna's multiplies. :> THUS...

LET'S TALK ABOUT GIRLS

1. You're a girl, right?
Yes, surr.

2. Have you kissed any one on your top list?
What's a top list? Maybe, if we have the same top list in mind.

HEY where's 3? Ass, favorite pa naman ni Chei yun >:)

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Yeah. Sarry. =)) Coffee Prince killed my 2 days. I actually watched the thing. :)) And...SHIT MEN. =)) =))

5. Are you a girly girl?
At times. It actually depends on my mood. But yeah, I guess.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
Migo. Days ago. :))

7. Small or large purses?
Oh I love big colorful bags.

8. Are you short?
If I'm short, you're a toddler. :P Oops.

9. Do you like someone?
Not particularly, nah.

10. where's # 10??
Pat Henson is at HOME :))
Wait, Chezka, I get it! There's no # 10!!!

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Hell yeah. GROSS.

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
Yep.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
No. :(

14. Are you double jointed?
I'd like to think I am. =)) I can do seriously creepy crap with my joints. Ask me for a sample.

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I dunno. The ocean? With nothing but a rope to support me. Last summer. About 20 feet deep waters. :))

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
No, no.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
I guess. And it reached my Mom. And we had a TALK.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Oh yeah. =)) Lots. I would think all the juniors of AA (incoming seniors) would say yes, considering that we're batchmates with Cayco. And all her friends too. :>

19. How many guys will read this?
On an average...wait, lemme check my other entries. Here. An average of 8. :| Most people who look at surveys are girls, huns.

LET'S TALK BOYS

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Held hands with a boy?
Yeah.

2. Hugged a boy?
Sure.

3. Touched a boy inappropriately?
No, no, no. (Naalala ko si Mica and her GLUE incident. HAHAHA :P)

4. Been touched by a boy inappropriately?
Tangna oo. :|

5. Kissed a boy?
Mhmm.

6. Made out with a boy?
Nah.

7. Been caught making out with a boy by an authority figure?
No, no, no making out. :))

8. By a friend or enemy?
...

9. Had sex with a boy?
NO. Waiting for the appropriate ceremonies. :)) (Read: Wedding)

10. Had oral sex?
Nope.

11. Stared a boy in the eyes?
Yeah. That's a fun game.

12. Been caught having sex by an authority figure?
No, no.

13. By a friend or enemy?
...

14. Ran your fingers through a boys hair?
Yeah. They have short hair tho, so. Girls' hair ah bettah.

15. Had a boy run his fingers through your hair?
Yep. Back when it was long. Ngayon wala na din, igsi eh. :))

16. Sat on a boys lap?
I don't think so. Ah yeah pala.

17. Made out with a boy in the dark?
Don't. Make. Out. :))

18. Kissed a boy in the rain?
Nope.

19. Kicked a boy in his sensitive area?
ACCIDENTALLY. :)))))) HAHAHA. SORRY.

20. Spent more than hour flirting with a boy?
I didn't think it was flirting then.

21. Stolen your friends boyfriend?
Ah hell no. :)) Stolen my friend from the boyfriend maybe, because he was a dick. And we girls hate dicks for our chicks. :P

22. Had your boyfriend stolen by a friend?
No boyfriend, sorry :))

23. Cheated on your boyfriend?
See #22

24. Been cheated on?
Nope :P

25. Slow danced with a boy?
Mhmm.

26. Been on a date?
I don't date, either. :D I live a pretty boring life.

27. Took a walk with a boy?
Yep

28. Told a boy he was hot?
Ah yeah, maybe.

29. Told a boy he was ugly?
See # 28

30. Been told you were hot?
See # 28

31. Been told you were ugly by a boy?
See # 28

32. Seen a boy naked in the flesh?
Yeah. Haha. But just my dear, dear, dear little brother :))

33. Dumped a boy?
See # 28

34. Been dumped?
Bakit, nanliligaw ba ko? =))

35. Asked a boy for his number?
Yep. No harm.

36. Had a boy ask for your number?
Yeah. No harm. :))

37. Embarassed yourself in front of a crush?
SHIT YES. HAHA.

38. Secretly liked your best friends boyfriend?
UHM. No. =)) Tep, MINE's all YOURS. Kk? :D Walang sulutan, love.

39. What about just her crush?
AHAHA. :)) No, we have different types in guys. :)) (Well, Alyssa always have the BEST taste. :P I always have the WORST. Sorry naman.)

40. Lied to your boyfriend?
No boyfriend, hunny.

41. Been lied to by your boyfriend?
...

44. Slept with a boy without actually having sex?
AH yeah. SLEEP. No touching, eww. Coz I can only sleep peacefully with a male if it's my cousin. HAHAHA. =)) Safe yun eh.

45. Been over to a boys house?
Yep :P

46. Had a boy over your house?
Yeah :)

47. Done something drastic to get a boys attention?
SHAMEFULLY, yes. (AH, JANELLE! KHISH! I remember the times we shout outside our car windows >:))

48. Begged a guy to make out with you?
Hell no.

49. Been begged by a guy to make out with him?
Hell no :)

50. Slept over a boys house?
Yep.

What's The First Thing You Learn In Kindergarten?

2008-03-28T15:10:00.002+08:00

The Alphabet.

And it's particularly useful on days like this, (Trish's graduation, while she's exploring her gift, and we can't talk properly.:P) because it cretes surveys like...

• A
Are you available? Technically, yes. :))
What is your age? The sweetest. (Read: 16)
Astrology sign? Capricorn, babe.

• B
Do you know anyone named Brian? Oh, just since a few months ago. But I still prefer calling you Ben, Ben. :P To get to your nerves, I told 'ya.
When is your Birthday? December 28, 1991
Ever been stung by a bee? Oh, if me biting myself counts, then yes. It happens a lot.

• C
Whats your favorite candy? JELLY BEANS. :"> I get kilig thinking about it!
What color is your car? If I could have one (which is HIGHLY improbable), I'd have BLACK. I actually considered yellow, but. BUT. I don't wanna look like a massive chunk of egg on the road.

• D
Do you daydream? A lot. And even invent conversations in my head. [Right, Irene? HAHA.]
What's your favorite kind of dog? PS, I hate dogs. I only like MY dog. So that limits our option to one: Golden Retriever.

• E
Have you ever been in the emergency room? Unfortunately, yes. And not to watch someone else get oxygen pumped into their lungs. I went there to have my knee sewn. Some random split of broken glass (from a coke bottle, see my trauma, I don't drink coke now) dig itself to my knee.
Ever swam with sharks? I'd rather not. I'm not as cool as IsaS. :P

• F
Do you use fly swatters? Funny, we just got a fly swatter 2 hours ago. Lol.
Is there a fan in your room? Yes. But for my new room, no. It's cool there, way above the busy roads.
Does the number four have any significance? Unless you consider it reminding me of Cassy all the time, then no.

•G
Do you ever chew gum? Yeah, but I like chewy candies better. [STARBURRRST!]
Do you like gory movies? Sadly, no. I hate blood. I cringe at the sight of splurging blood. I wanna throw up. One day, I'll learn to love that. One day isn't now, btw.

•H
How are you? Doing well, thank you. In regretting mode, but lovely.
What's your height? Here we go again. You know what, I'd LOVE to say 5'8", but that's just LYING! I'm 5'7.5" or a few decimal inches higher. But not quite 5'8".
What color is your hair? Black. I'd have colored it dark, dark, dark purple; but A) My parents would kill me, and B) I watched ANTM and Tyra told Bianca (Haha, nice coincidence :P) "I'd say you looked like a model if only that wasn't the color of your hair." Color: Reddish violet. OOPS.

• I
Have you ever ice skated? YEAH. The last time I did was August, tho.
Favorite Ice cream? Arce Dairy's Sugar-Free Cheese Ice Cream. I discovered this with Lidi. :P

•J
Favorite Jelly bean? Can I possibly choose JUST one? Aww. Well then, PEANUT BUTTER. They sold that separately in Shang, OH LOVE.
Do you wear jewelry? Used to, till I lost my beloved pink earrings. I haven't been in the mood since then.

• K
Have you ever flown a kite? The ones made of newspaper
Do you think kangaroos are cute? Yes. It reminds me of my cousin Grace...

• L
Are you laid back? HAHA. YES. And my Mom said I shouldn't be too carefree. :P
Lions or tigers? Tigers. Hot cats, tho.
Do you like black licorice? No, I don't think I WILL.
Jelly Beans? What has that got to do with "L"? BUT YES, I DO.

• M
Favorite place at the Mall? BOOKSTORES. Especially if there's a Fully Booked around the corner.
Favorite movie? Yeah, yeah. Pathetic, but, still A WALK TO REMEMBER.

• N
Do you prefer night or day? Night. I hate the burning sun.
Do you have a nickname? Yes, of course.

• O
Are you an only child? Fortunately, NO. I love my demented and neurotic siblings.
Do you like the color orange? I used to. It was my favorite color until about grade 7.

•P
Do you know anyone named Penelope? Nope.
Favorite flavor of popcorn? Butter. It's yellow. :P

• Q
Do you like game shows? Yesss. ESPECIALLY Street Smarts.
Do you collect the state quarters? What?

• R
Do you think you're always right? Yes. Kidding. Nah. I'm always wrong, when I come to think of it. But at the time of decision making, I have this nasty habit of defending my initial choice, mainly because I trust my instinct to much. But when I look back, I realize it was a stupid choice.
Do you watch reality tv? Yeah.
Do you prefer sun or rain? Rain, if I'm inside. Sun, if I'm outside, which is rare.

• S
How many pair of shoes do you have? I don't really knowww. Or, well, I only use 4. My black sneaker wedges, black X-hi, unidentifiable chucks, and pink/brown Vans. Oh yeah, school shoes. That's because I rarely wear shoes. I'm shamefully in slippers all the time.
Do you like wearing sun glasses? OH YES. Unless I'm under the sun. Which is stupid. But sorry, I don't want to have a big 8-shaped white part on my face.

•T
Time to go to sleep? For my parents, apparently. They dozed off...together. At 3:30 PM, no less.

• U
Can you ride a unicycle? No. I don't think I wanna try it?

• V
Did you ever watch Veggietales? What? That's a no.

• W
What's your worst habit? Picking the skin on my thumb. IT'S GROSS. :))
What do you want right now? Buy Gracey's DVDs. But I can't, can I? Since my parents are asleep, as mentioned.

• X
Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes, my foot. When I got a sprain last September. And it's not yet fully healed till now.

• Y
Do you like the color yellow? I'm beginning to think this survey is for me. OH YESSS!
Do you yell when you're angry? At times. But most of the time, I stay friggin' quiet.

• Z
Do you believe in Zodiac signs? Hell no.

•Lasts:

-Last dream: I can't remember last night's! It was awesome eh. Rarr. 2 nights ago tho, I was in the car with these 2 girls, a guy, and a couple. It was an FX. Or a Pajero. That kind. :P

-Last beverage: WATER. I'm craving for Apple Juice

-Last phone call: Migo.

-Last Text message: A GM I can't remember.

-Last time you hugged: Migo, last night. He went to me just to hug me. Aww.

-Last night: I buried my nose on the PC's screen. NOT. I watched ANTM.

This Is For YOU.

2008-03-27T17:24:00.004+08:00

I FEEL SO NOSTALGIIIIIIC. :((

I wanna cryyyy. Hahaha.

I read my Y!M Message Archives for last year. I'm now on MAY 2007. AND HOLY. HAHA. I friggin' miss the days. The start of my worries, and the reassurance of things not changing. All my fears of this summer, of the following school year, I read it all.

And now, the time has come.

And all my fears have materialized. Changes are EXISTING now. The greatest fears become reality. Thanks for killing my obsession about the past and how many smiles everyone had at that time.

BULLSHIT.

But I'm kinda coping pretty well, don't care. I'm pretending it didn't happen, it's not happening, and it never will.

One thing's sure: THE LOSSES WILL MAKE US BETTER, STRONGER. Because God designed the world that way. ;) And I hate people who leave when they have an option to stay. But then, I love people who WANT to stay, but HAVE to leave, because at least they want to STAY.

Tep, wag ka nang umalis, please.

Okay, I'm selfish now.

*Icon credits: TRISH. And it's Grease for a reason. :)) I miss Grease. I can't find the DVD. I love the story, I hate the guy. >:) He's an ass.

Because I miss 3.

2008-03-26T17:56:00.000+08:00

1. ano tawag sayo sa classroom?
- Bee. But teachers call me Bianca. Because that name is reserved for teachers. You can only call me Bianca if you pronounce it correctly. Clear? ;))

2. year and section mo?
- III-3. Oh I'll soon be IV-3. I think?

3. sino unang teacher na pumapasok sa classroom niyo?
- Mommy HEBBIE. =))

5. sino ang pinakatahimik?
- ~~Mich Leonardo~~ NATT. HAHA. =)) Need I tell you that it's Mae Cruz? ;))

6. Sino ang palaging gumagawa ng mga assignments?
- Hindi si Justine. ;)) Kumokopya sakin yun eh. Kumokopya din ako sa kanya...minsan. UHM. JANA CASILLAN! AND ROAN BASSIG. IDOL. :)

7. sino naman ang palaging walang assignment?
- Si Mandyyyyyy. HAHAHA! Kidding, Mands. :))

8. sino ang teacher na palaging nagagalit sa inyo?
- Ehem. Who's the tallest teacher with the strongest perfume? Royt. Sir Ken.

9. Sino ang palaging kumakain pag class hours?
- Angelica B. Dolor. :))

10. sino pinaka good girl sa class niyo?
- Oh, I actually thought it was Gelli? Then I heard things. HAHAHAHAHA. OOPS. It's...Meryl.

11. sino pinakamatalino?
- Lovelace, the goddess. Translation: Justine Sanchez. ;))

12. sino ang "teacher's pet" sa class niyo?
- Si REICHELLE. Bwahaha! Pet ni Ms. Brigins. :))

13. sino ang mahilig mag volunteer?
- MICHELLE LEONARDO. ;))

14. magaling kumanta sa class niyo?
- Pinaka magaling sa lahat. :)) Eenna delos Reyes. The most *heavenly music plays* voice ever.

15. sino naman pinakamagaling sumayaw?
- Hindi naman yan tanong eh. Mara Manalo! ;))

16. sino ang mahilig magpatawa sa class niyo?
- JESY JAVIER. :)) Never a class without her hirits. Kapag hindi siya humirit, she's absent.

17. sino madalas pinapagalitan sa class niyo?
- ISA SALAZAR. HAHAHAHA! By Sir Ruel. :>

18. sino heartthrob sa class nio?
- Oh Angel, my awesome love. ;))

19. sino pinakaepal sa class niyo?
- Si Justine, alam lahat eh. =)) >:D< Kahit kelan hindi hindi makaintindi. ;))

20. sino pinakamabait?
- In what sense? HMM. That HAS gottt to be Bianca Velicaria!

21. sino pinakaclose mo sa class?
- Hmm. :)) Tough. Which aspect? Theoretical: Liseth Luarca, Girl talk: Angel D., Everything talk: Justine and Bianca, Kalokohan talk: Trisha L. :)) All else: PamMedz and Mica!

22. sino laging lumilipat ng upuan?
- Si Liseth. Numero Uno. She's always lost. :-/

23. sino nakaupo sa pinakalikod ng classroom?
- Pam Medz. ;))

24. sino naman nakaupo sa harap?
- MEME. ;))

24. Sino seatmate mo?
- AH. Bianca Velicaria and the electric fan.

26. Ilan lockers sa classroom niyo?
- NONE. :| Outside eh.

24. Ano locker number mo?
- That should be the number of the locker at the very bottom. Which is nonexistent.

28. ilan drawer ng teacher's table
- I cabinet and 2 drawers. Right Murr?

29. Sino mahilig magbura ng blackboard?
- Uh. I dunno. I know who loves to WRITE on it! Reich and Kristine.

30. Sino class president niyo?
- Ohhhhh Larissssaaaah,

31. anong position mo sa class officers?
- Nahhh. Not one. ;)

32. sino pinaka astig pumorma sa class niyo?
- MARA M.

33. sino pinakamahilig maglambingan sa klase?
- Si Mica at Jesy. No doubt. :|

34. sino pinaka artistic sa class niyo?
- KAYE DE GUZMAN. Paper mache, anyone? :))

35. sinong teacher ang may favorite sa class niyo?
- Ms. Hebbie. WAHAHA. =)) At Ms. Brigino.

36. favorite class pastime?
- Watching Horror movies

37. sino palagi mong kadaldalan?
- Si Bianca Veli, Liseth, and Angel. ;))

38. sino kasabay mo pag breaktime?
- SECTION 2. BWAHAHA. =)) Break from 3!

39. masaya ka ba sa kanila?
- OH YEAH. But I won't survive there during classes. ;)

40. sino ang crush mo sa classroom?
- Crush ko si Isa. GWAPO NIYA EH.

41. sino ang bestfriends mo sa classroom?
- Hmm. I dunno. Pam Aguinaldo's gone forever eh. :((

41. sino lagi mong kaaway?
- Uh. I can't remember. Si Justine.

42. cno magkakaloveteam sa classroom nyo?
- Bianca Veli + Mae C, Alex R + Dindin B, and Jesy + Mica ;))

I Smoked A Homeless Guy Because I'm Beautiful

2008-03-26T17:12:00.002+08:00

Pick the month you were born in

1 - I ran over
2 - I killed
3 - I needed
4 - I raped
5 - I killed
6 - I cuddled with
7 - I ran naked with
8 - I slept with
9 - I stabbed
10 - I licked
11 - I banged
12- I smoked

Pick the day (number) you were born on

01 - ur grandma
02 - the kool-aid man
03 - a horse
04 - a pornstar
05 - your mom
06 - you
07 - a bag of weed
08 - a prostitute
09 - a toothbrush
10 - a jew
11 - a homo
12 - the trojan man
13 - Paris Hilton
14 - a whore
15 - a cat
16 - a pickle
17 - a mexican
18 - a bisexual
19 - a dog
20 - an orange
21 - a crackhead
22 - a bowl of cereal
23 - an easter egg
24 - my ex
25 - a condom
26 - a jar of honey
27 - a lesbian
28 - a homeless guy
29 - a french fry
30 - your dealer
31 - a stripper

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy
Pink - Because the lil people told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm cool like that
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Orange - because I have double D's
Green - because I'm beautiful
Other - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown - because i had to
Shirtless - because I've got abs

END RESULT ^________^

I Smoked A Homeless Guy Because I'm Beautiful =))

Ah, making paasa a homeless guy with black grease all over his face? ;)) The PAK.

Centrum

2008-03-25T23:59:00.004+08:00

Complete, from A to Z. WEHHH.

A - Any Friend Of Yours: ~~Hesy Havier.~~ Jesy Javier. :)) Typo.
B - Best Friend: s Alyssa, Tep and PamA
C - Cries On Your Shoulder: Rica Zuniga. :)) Sino kayang nagpaiyak? Lol.
D - Date-worthy Friend: Oh easy peasy, Cayco's awesome boyfriend. THE Alec Uy. :>
E - Excitable: Kim Guerrero. HAHAHA. Never a time without the squeal and the reklamo. ;))
F - Friend You Trust Most: Alyssasang. >:D< :))
G - Greatest Friend You Ever Had: Irene Cecilia Zuniga (!)
H - Happiest Memory With Friends: LUNCHTIME. When I was sad. With JEAN and IRENE. Aww. HAY. The saddest days make you realize what happiness is.
I - Ice-cream-Eating Buddy: ABBI PEL. Jelly tongue mo.
J - "Just Friends" But You Want More: CYNCH MOLINA. BWAHAHA. Hey witch babe, our "more" is get married as girls. ;))
K - Kicks The Most Butt: Sinong nagTtaekwondo? :| Or Karate? Can't think of anyone but Chei's hubby. So that makes Chei a Taekwondotista too, coz marriage makes 1 + 1 = 1
L - Last Friend You Lost: Hmm, lost closeness maybe? Mars, I think. Lost, literal? Like dead? Kuya Intan. :((
M - Most Helpful Friend: JUSTINE ANGELICA SANCHEZ. FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.
N - Name of Your First Best Friend: Tep and Alyssa. I never did have a best friend. Coz I was a shy kid. LONER. Lol. Unless you count Janina. ;) We're best friends every Monday of Kinder.
O - Oldest Friend: Janella Leyva. SINCE BIRTH.
P - Prettiest Friend: Angelica B. Dolor. ;)) My awezzzzum dear. Hottstuff.
Q - Quoteable Friend: None other than Forest Candelaria and of course Popoy Pabiton.
R - Richest: Mr. L! A.K.A. Leo Camacho. =)) (Hey painting!)
S - Successful Friend You Have: I d'no. Si Leo na din, wrote 2 books. ;))
T - Today, Your Favorite Friend is: Brian Umali. =)) Because I piss him off by calling him Ben.
U - Ups and Downs, You Share Them With: Vinci Castelo, my awesome bestbud. :)) Been there since October 2006 till NOW, and never lost. THANKS DUDE!
V - Very Entertaining Friend: Ian ~~Emmanuelle~~ Emmanuel Braga =)) Need I say more? ;;)
W - Worth The Most To You: ANNA PATRICIA SAN JOSE RUIZ. Better than anyone I know. :)) [Okay, lalaki na ulo niyan.]
X - X-rated Jokes Are Made By: Ralph Jerome Pinpin! HAHA! KIDDING, BASmate! ;)) Kasi naman eh, your How To Make A Baby video was so benta.
Y - You Pick A Random Friend: Acey Mendoza!
Z - Zebra-loving Friend: PAM MEDINA. Kidding. Not. It's close. She's TIGRESS. :)) You just change the orange to white and there you have it.

Law-Making Bodies

2008-03-25T20:27:00.003+08:00

HOLY SHIT. ADMISSIONS TALK KILLED ME. I was SOOOOO into taking up law, then here comes Joel Santos messing up with my subconscious and my conscious. I have this icking feeling that my spelling of conscious is wrong. I know it's correct but it looks so wrong! WHY. I mean, why work as a lawyer and live a monotonous life when you can happily live your life with all the risks and shits of being an entrepreneur? I actually see myself in ESA, just like every other junior who heard the talk. (HAHAHAAA :P) Well anyway, law hunts me. We had a meeting for AFS this afternoon, and we talked about lawyers. Which, in turn, made me realize that being a lawyer is way below the laughing line while entrepreneurship is soaring miles away from it. Being a lawyer is boring. Or, I can be a flight attendant. (EEFK!) Yeah, yeah, I'll be all around the world in 40 days, but still. Did I really study in Assumption to be a chimay-in-the-sky? Is that my DREAM? Why can't I dream to be around-the-world-in-40-days WITH MY OWN MONEY, or in my own plane? WHY NOT. Or my own yacht. WELL, yeah, I shall never be a stewardess despite the attractive incentives. Why settle for getting free fares for relatives when you can own the airline?

Okay, getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we, Ianca? (Yes, I have decided to experiment being called Ianca, since everyone calls me B. I selected the inverse.) I AM GONNA BE A LAWYER. A LAWYER. But wait! What...what...course do I want to take before that? Legal Management. Yes. But what if...

No.

Well.

What if?

What if I go to ESA and THEN go to Law? It would be redundant--talking about law here. If I become filthy rich, then I don't need to take up law. When I graduate and I feel like it, I can take up law. BUT. If and when I study and graduate from ESA, I'd have a good business running already and my interests certainly won't be LAW. OH MYYY. You see, I think entrepreneurship and law are TOTAL OPPOSITES. Being an entrepreneur morphs you into being this revolutionary, creative, gutsy superhuman, while law makes you logical, practical, all the -cals, and most of all, careful. WOAH.

AND LOOK AT THIS, a while ago I was talking to my Power Memory coach back in 2006.

bianca: Ohhh coach! Aren't you graduating?
Bruno T: oh not yet
Bruno T: mejo mtagal pa
Bruno T: 2 mroe years
Bruno T: im in the 5 year program
bianca: Ohhhh. 5 years? bianca: Ahhh. bianca: Hahaha. What's your course?
Bruno T: law
bianca: Is that...after a four-year-course?
Bruno T: yup
bianca: bianca: 9 YEARS???
Bruno T: uhm yaaaaah.
bianca: WAAAAA. bianca: GRABE.
Bruno T: hah kaya mo yan noh
Bruno T: law ka na din?
bianca: YEAHHHH. bianca: Hay ho. HAHA. 9 years.
Bruno T: well pwede 8 years bianca: I graduate at 17...which means I study till...16? bianca: *26
OHMAYGAHD.

What age will I get married then? I shall marry a lawyer too. Bull that. :P

Six Steps To A Girl

2008-03-24T18:20:00.003+08:00

A few days ago, in the midst of boredom and pigging out, I read a book entitled Six Steps To A Girl. It wasn't particularly well-written, nor is it particularly wonderful. It has its edge though, its plot. (And in my humble opinion, Sophie McKenzie's outstanding ability to take on a guy's POV, to write in it, and to sound like a guy, end of story.) Basically, it's about this guy going for this awesome girl, who, consequently, had an awesome boyfriend of her own. Ttttralala, here comes a friend, equipped with none other than the Six Steps To A Girl, and teaches it to our *insert P word that means main character*. Oh wait, I got it. Protagonist. So yeah, he follows the six steps religiously, and, as cliche often goes, he got the girl and got rid of the boyfriend.

And you know what, the six steps?

They're actually goddamn true.

Or at least I think so. For you, female friends, read on and tell me if these really are the things that makes us like/fall for/hold on to a guy.

And for you, male buds, well, you might not know it, but you DO possess the six steps...sometimes. I mean, it's innate in you, but you probably just don't know it yet. Those who show it or flash it to the world, more often than not, gets the girl...or girls, for that matter.

And yes, it's bad to generalize.

Tricia, having read the book, and swearing that it amused her to the utmost degree of amusement, ordered me to share this with the world so we poor little humble beings of the Earth finally understand...

...How guys really operate.

(And yes, forgive the term, but yeah, OPERATE)

Here goes, the SIX STEPS:

1) Look good, feel good - translation: get a makeover. If guys don't necessarily feel confident about themselves, even just a teeny weeny bit, they, more often than not, will fail to talk to a girl. Or sorts. So yeah, what He did in the novel was get a haircut that would make him look more mature, or look better at least. From the totoy there's-an-opposite-sex-? look to the oh-yeah-there's-an-opposite-sex-! look to the opposite-sex-ready look. I mean, come on, if you meet this totoy guy, would you actually consider getting it on with him? Let's get realistic. I love the it's-the-inside-not-the-looks-that-matter shit (yeah, I testify to that with all my heart) but you have to see something CUTE in the guy. Just for the kilig factor to initially settle in. So when guys get this haircut or whatever they need (facial, maybe?), their inner cute will come out and shine.

2) Noticing - Getting the girl to notice you, maybe. Like checking out what she's intersted in (notice boards of clubs, multiply sites, tralala?) and talk to her about it. OR, SIMPLY, THE LOOK. The guys must have that one particular way of looking at the girl. I mean, when he glances at you, or (rar) stares at you, there's something underscoring interest. Or something. This is probably when the overly-cliched zealous SPARKS comes in. The look. Come on, think of that guy you really like. Doesn't he have this super awesome "look" that makes you melt? Uhm. Geez. That sounded like...crap. LOL. HAHA. But you know, the "he-looked-at-me!" squeals and fantasies? Something related to that.

3) Angle - They get an angle, like an edge. If you don't like pushy, they show themselves as guys who don't push. If you don't like quiet, they're makulit. I guess it's basically TYPES. :)) They turn themselves into your type of guy. They morph into some creature that will make you see their best side--their angle.

4) Humour - Come on, who doesn't like a humorous guy? Whether wholesome or otherwise. (HAHAAA. :P) Moreover, who likes a guy who can't even smile? If he can't smile, how can he make you smile, and god knows, laugh. Liking a guy is basically enjoying, yeah? And the root word of enjoy is HAPPY. The root word of happy is LAUGH, or smile for that matter.

5) Attention - Here, here. A girl falls in love with a guy who showers her with attention. Making her feel that she's THE GIRL, and not just one of the girls. I mean, hel-lo. Would you be fooling yourself, going head over heels (the real thing, okay? Not the his-smile-is-awesome or the movie star concept of in love) over a guy who would give you NONE of his time? Or treat you like any other girl? No can do, we fall for guys who treat us as THE ONE. :)) Lol. This is to not sound PAASA.

AND LASTLY, THE BEST STEP, THE SPICE OF THE WHOLE NOVEL AND THE MOST EXCRUCIATING STEP, EVER.

6) Make sure she knows you can leave if you want to - I HATE GUYS. HAHAHAHA. =)) Once they make that clear, you can never, never, ever let go. HAHA. It makes you hold on to them more. And that's their edge. They've played you already. Have you dancing in the palm of the hands, and licking their asses (figuratively, of course) to suck up (figuratively, again!)

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, ARE HOW GUYS OPERATE.

I mean, come on. :)) I think all the guys that I've liked so far have ALL THOSE, except they just didn't know it. It's subconscious? Yeah? Or innate in them, probably. :P :> I think. It's part of the genes that travels from one male neuron to another male nucleotide and what the shit.

The Macafuckaroni Blizzard Is On Its Way

2008-03-22T18:29:00.004+08:00

1. Why did you stop liking the lastperson you liked?
-Timing & flash in the pan mistakes

2. Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
-broken :P Choose the wrong guys, so yeah. Expected. ♥

3. What was the last thing you put inyour mouth?
-Ube. My diet the past 2 days: Ube, Melon, Strawberry, Puto, NUTS.

4. Name a quote from the song you are listening to?
How can someone so true be so fake?

5. How is life going for you right now?
-Fairly boring. ((:

6. Are you keeping a secret fromsomeone who needs to know the truth?
-Yeah.

7. Who was the last person to comment you?
-Nela? ((:

8. Regret(s)?
-A whole lot. First things first, easy peasy. :P

10. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
-Mom off already? I wanted to go with her. :

11. Do you have a best friend?
-Yeah, I'm a human being, doofus.

12. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
-A lot of times, judgmental little bitch. :(

13. What do you think of people who had sex before marriage?
-Their choice, actually.

14. Do you own a pair of green pants?
-And proud to. :>

15. What are you excited about?
-Moving tomorrow. :)) Yeah.

16. Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
-I just got a dose of my own medicine, what do you think?

17. What is your favorite fruit?
-MANGOES. AND BANANAS. AND STRAWBERRIES. :">

18. What is the last song to make you cry?
-Right Back In The Water. YEAH YEAH, I KNOW, LAME =)) I listen to Jesse McCartney, SO WHAT :P

19. Is your best friend pretty?
-Of course. ;)) (If I say no, I'll die a painful death. :">)

20. Have you ever passed out?
-Hell no. ;))

21. Do you trust people easily?
-Sadly, yes. I'm trying to change that, yeah yeah. Mom told me to. So yeah.

22. When was the last time you puked?
-Very recently. Because, I, uh, iced tea. :">

24. Who do you miss?
-Liseth and Angel and our talks! :-"

25. Do you give out second chances too easily?
-Sadly, yes. Hahaha. My Mom said I'm friggin' easy. And she's probably right. :P

26. what are you doing this comingsummer?
-April 7-19: ABS;; April 21-??: AA Basketball Training;; April 30-May 4: Basketball League (3G?);; May 5-??: College Reviews. Wow. :P Where's my vacation going?

27. Where is one place you want to visit?
-Puerto Rico. :-/ :D

28. Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you?
I ♥♥♥ hugs. :">

29. Had plans and broke them?
'Course

30. Do you eat steak?
HELL YEAH. :">

31. How are you feeling?
Aw~~ful~~some. :)) Kind of. But bored. With it all. (I mean imagine, in a year, we're in college, and after that, work. The next time we can chill is when we're senior citizens, and that's about 54 years from now. Hel-lo?)

32. Are you a lover or hater?
HATER. :P I hate a lot. See posts.

33. What was the last movie youwatched?
Stranger Than Fiction.

34. What comes into mind when I say,Firenzeee the chimpanzee is on fire?
Ice. And frozen monkeys.

35.WHO are you listening to right now?
Jesse McCartney. OO NA. HAHAHA. =))

Sham, Fock.

2008-03-12T01:08:00.006+08:00

Sham, sham, sham. I hate women, and I hate men. I hate the irony they represent. We represent. I hate, hate, hate. I hate lies. I hate everything that's opposite. I hate everything that makes me cringe and makes me squeeze the air trapped by my palms. And I hate everything that makes me want to write, for all those things disturb me to the utmost stupidity.
.

I hate how the x-chromosome bearers of the world can't express themselves properly. We all seem bitchy and we all seem mean. We all seem like whores and we all seem utterly shallow. But really, now. All those songs women sing are shams. We're not superficial.

Why do guys sing a lot of love songs? Do they even apply to the majority of the y-chromosome bearers? There's really just a small percentage of male species who actually feel as emotional or as loving or as whatever as love songs proclaim. And they're the singers of these songs. All the rest are significantly apathetic about all the words of balladeers (spell that, bitches :[ I can't.) I do solemnly swear that I think 95% of the male half of the human population can not relate to songs their kind write. In fact, I think that the remaining 5%, the ones who DO feel, are partly women in thinking.
.

I hate these sugary sweet writers who make the world believe that men are like them. That all of their species are like them.

And I hate women for making men believe that we don't care. I hate women for creating songs that are irrelevant to their true feelings. I hate women for creating songs that mask their true thoughts and fears. And I hate women for letting men take over the emotionally-inclined-face of the music industry. They don't deserve it. Well, at the rate we're all going, women don't even deserve it too.

And you know what? I don't know what. I just like the songs by males better, because women can relate to it more. I find it hard to imagine macho men to relate to these songs, coz all they care about are booz, friends, balls, and video games. And I'm generalizing, which is WRONG. So this may be untrue for you, male-reader, but it's true for most.

I hate you Barry Manilow for creating undeniably beautiful songs who make us believe that all men are men of the covers of romance novels. And yes, female-reader, let us bow down to Barry Manilow and beg him to make all males like him.

And to you, male-reader, bow down to whoever goddess you want to pattern us all after.

And I hate you, Bianca Ruiz, for contradicting your very thoughts just because. Don't change.

.And I had a dream, a beautiful dream. And I wish that'll happen to every girl in the entire world: Dream big.

And I hate you, reader, for not understanding where I'm coming from...

...I'm coming from the seat behind Liseth. Fock all those who can't accept, royt, Seth?

=))

And so begins the agonizing ways to torture a female.

Freak

2008-03-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

I hate you, freak. I hate, hate, hate you.

And so the hating goes on.

Until Forest IMed me.

forest: hate is a special kind of love we give to people who suck
bianca: Hmm.
bianca: Is it a positive thing?
bianca:
forest: dunno

So yeah, when we hate, we actually love, but in a negative way. Still, even given that, the operative word is suck. People. Who. Suck.

Grr. Bad mood lately. Must be one of those woman days? And, and, bullshit. I love walking alone, I get to think a lot. And you know what thinking a lot does to me, make me realize things I should realize, really. And regret a whole period of time? I regret living HS. I want another shot at HS. :))

And it shall start with studying Chemistry.

I hate you. And you are erased from ze loif. :)

At The Core

2008-03-09T04:50:00.002+08:00

If there's one thing doing the Filipino Term Paper made me realize, it's that the Filipinos' concept of nationalism is a total sham. It's vague, and is entirely different from the read definition of it.

You see, the concept nationalism began in France, when the Enlightenment thinkers labeled the unbelievable unity of a million men (no hyperbole present) as such. It's something that works for the betterment of the whole nation.

We Filipinos have this beautiful trait that keeps us rather exceptional. Utang na loob. UTANG. NA. LOOB. However good this it, however ethical it is, it is the cause of our downfall. It's the very core of the political crisis and military crisis our country is experiencing today, and even during the decades that passed. Ronald E. Dolan expressed in his book Philippines: A Country Study, that this concept drove the military to defy their leader and follow the informal commands of another. This also happened during the French Revolution, when loyalty to Napoleon overpowered loyalty to the nation, to Louis XVIII. The soldiers' loyalty to Fidel V. Ramos gave them the will to defy their authority, their commander-in-chief, Ferdinand Marcos.

I'm neither pro-Marcos nor anti-Marcos. I am apathetic about the People Power 1. It's history, no one can change history. You can alter how it is told, you can alter what people know, but what happened can never change. We can never turn back time.

Utang na loob.

Stuck In A Room With 4 Walls

2008-03-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

TERM-PAPER-ing. AND NOT YM-ing. NOR AM I MULTIPLY-ing. But Ian IMed and who can resist his deadly charms? AYIEEEE. HAHAHAHA. Stopping, stopping! And we came up with a theory.

Living your teenage life is like...

...Being The Hamster from America's Funniest Home Videos. It kept going up its cage, and slamming itself against a wall. Again. And again. And again. (Ian's words) You slam yourself into a wall trying to figure out if it's hard, or if you're making illusions. More often than not, the wall is thick. HAHA. And hard. Pero hindi ka pa rin, makontento, susubukan mo naman sa mga susunod na walls. Matigas pa rin. Next wall. Matigas pa rin. Next wall. Matigas. Kung pentagonal yung room mo, edi masaya, may isa ka pang wall. But if you're normal and you have a room with 4-walls, tapos ka na. Papunta ka na sa pintuan. Okay, the number is irrelevant, really. The point is the number of times you slam yourself against the wall. And how many teeth you smashed and how much blood you shed trying to prove that the wall is not hard. Then when you move on to the next, the same thing happens. What happens next?

Welcome to heaven.

:)

PS. Live your teenage life, and ~~regret it 9 months later~~ (HAHA, FOUUUL!) laugh 9 years later.

Kill You

2008-03-03T17:55:00.003+08:00

I am HYPER. : I swear. You know what, today, March 3, 2003 (Happy Birthday Lui Angeles!), I discovered the true meaning of busy. My brain's not functioning properly, I called Vinci a byotch and a ho. =)) HAHA. I forgot he wasn't a girl. Kidding! It just didn't register! And I greeted someone a Happy Birthday because I had to greet someone Happy Birthday. Anyone. Uh. Yeah. SABAW.

Today, I saw a dead cat on the road. And it was still. (DUH. HAHA.) And I realized how fast life can be. I wonder what will happen to the world when I'm not here anymore. What's the purpose of being here? We are so insignificant because we occupy the world for about 70 years, 90 years max, and it exists for millions and gazillions more. What are we? What IS existence? Cogito Ergo Sum? Well, what is Sum? I can easily kill myself if I want to. Everyone's capable of suicide. Everyone's capable of murder. You can KILL. You have hands. You have knives in your kitchen. You have everything you need to destroy life. But why don't you? Because evil is absent. Good is the absence of evil. Not the other way around. According to a sick psychologist named...Freud? I forgot if it was him. Lol.

So yeah. I probably should start doing my homework. ~~STUPID LANDLINE AND THE DELAY IT BRINGS.~~ I love delays. It makes me feel better when I'm done. :))

Oh yeah!!! Acey and Alyssa welcomed me to the man-hater's club. :> :> :> LOL. FUN. In testament to my belonging to the MHC, I'm getting 4 inch heels. :)) To symbolize our being unattainable. =)) HAHA! But I'm not a lesbo. (ILoveYouStillCynch!>:D<)

Things to do:

-Chemistry Activity sheet on naming Carbon compounds.

-AP: 3 adjectives (leadership), 2 achievements of N.B., 1 way to good leadership. Saan to ilalagay?

-Algebra: P. 267 #2-9

-Geometry: GET NOTES. That's for sleeping during Geom.

-Filipino Quiz tomorrow

-Music SONG!

-Filipino Term Paper outline

-Review for CLE Quiz

-Parish Involvement Project for CLE

-English Persuasive speech/essay

-Practice Kenshin Himura >:) (ALEXIS! HAHA!)

-Opening/Closing Prayer/Ending Remarks for MitingDeAvanse(SPELL?)

-Watch Dekada '70 :))

-Envi Ed CD

Because I Need To Let It Out

2008-03-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

Realizations of the day:

1. Matamis ang alikabok. :)) I was walking home from church, and there were cars all over the place. I was talking to Trish, and a particle of dirt made its way into my mouth. It was sweet. And gross.

2. The best hug you can get is from your family. Especially when it's your younger brother. I was so frustrated while reading my History books, thinking of things. Lots of things plus Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. And frustration led to a few droplets of tears. Well, that's me. And I heard sobbing at my door. I saw Migo. He was sobbing, he was hiding. He didn't want my Mom to know he was crying. Aww. I went to him and he hugged me REALLY tight. I love Migo. He was crying coz Arianne took the remote from him, and his fragile heart was crushed. He felt...unloved? I think. He was hugging me while sobbing, and my heart was his. I was crushed. :((((( It was the saddest state I've ever, ever seen him in. And he's 7 years old. >:D<

3. The best way to bond is to not spend at all. Tep and Nela came over. 'Nuff said. It was FUN. Like sisters. Damn you, Alyssa. :))

4. Red is a nice color. Trish's room is yellow, so 'bye favorite color. And besides, a yellow room doesn't really suit me. It's too bright for my studying. I wanted white, but I got off-white instead. And I wanted color, a striking, bold color, to represent me. And I chose blood-red. That's the color of my cabinets. New house, love. :)) Moving on the 12th. (ALEXIS, KELAN KAYO LILIPAT?)

5. You shouldn't forget who was there for you when you needed someone the most. They'll always be there. I love you, friends. All of you. :))))) Every time I go to you. And especially every time you go to me. Feels happpppy.

6. Weekends can ruin my fruit diet. I just devoured 0192472 gallons and pails of food. You can lose 5 pounds in 4 days with fruit diet (HAHA, DID, LOVES). But you'll gain it ALL back in two days if you go ballistic over food. (DID, SHIT).

7. I. Need. Black. Skinny. Jeans. :)) And I need a new supply of incredibly short skirts. Haha. Kidding. I stopped wearing them. But they look awfully cute with boots. :( But I don't wear skirts anymore. Since my Dad told me not to. Oh, decisions, decisions. :>

8. Winter must come. Here.

Isopropyl Alcohol

2008-03-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

I wonder what would've happened if we're not superficial? If we saw beyond what we want, and see what's offered to us. When He offers us something, it's because He thinks it's best for us. If we want something, we do everything to have it. When we want something, we reach out to the closest possibility of satisfaction, and grab it thinking that it is satisfaction. Truth is, we should see beyond that. We should grab what we thought we never should've. And when time comes, and when you realize the mistake, time runs out. Time forbids you to have when it offered you at one point. And you will have the utmost pleasure (sarcasm is an art) of understanding the definition of regret, jealousy, grief, and last but not the friggin least, satisfaction. It satisfies you that you have LEARNED. And when time does roll around, you can change you life.

But time doesn't roll around...

...and my blog post isn't making any sense. HAHAHA. And my random brain is just so...random. =)) I just saw past posts and past messages that got me thinking. IWantToChangeHowMyLifeHasBeen. Make the most of what I have. And I can. :D I have 130947109 more days to come. Or something.

Lilinisin ko ang buhay ko, ang sugat ko, ang dumi ko...gamit ang Green Cross Isopropyl Alcohol. Dahil yun ang katabi ng WebCam ngayon. =)) And I still haven't done anything to catch up with my school work.

I LOVE LIFE. IT GIVES YOU OPTIONS. THANK YOU GOD. >:D< >:D< Ang talino mo.

Leap Day

2008-03-01T00:23:00.004+08:00

FEBRUARY 29 DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN.

And when it does, it leaves its mark.

It's extremely rare for a February to be ended by a 29. (OY MARCI, TAPOS NA FEB HA.) Moving on. :)) As I said, it's extremely rare for February to be ended by a 29, something special. It is, this year. It's the day Ms. *** morphs into a female version of Jun Lozada...to a lesser intensity.

I know I shouldn't be telling this but I want to remember this day for the rest of my life, because even though it's incredibly humiliating and reputation-un-building (?!), it's still friggin' hilarious and it's something I'll laugh at for the rest of my life.

SO. Here. Bo, Ry, and 6 other friends went to AA to watch their classmate Jap perform. The Wonder Bookshop II. Can I just say, you wasted a hundred and fifty bucks for something that shall pass as a group work. HAHA. :)) Sarry! It's the support that counts.

Okay, tinawagan ko si Bo para malaman kung nasan na sila. At para ipaliwanag na hindi sila makakapasok ng libre. :)))))))))) Kurakot ang AA eh, bakit ba. P150. :)) I was with Garci...coz Jesy, Bern, Roan, Mica and Lidi friggin' disappeared. WAHA. They were in front of the theater, and being the hospitable citizens of the Republic of the Philippines that we are, we fetched them. We went to the side of the theater, plotting our ~~dramatic~~ quiet, sneaky entrance.

Then Ms. *** came.

HAHA. Mula sa HS Caf. Takot naman ako, dapat nasa loob kami ng theater nun eh. Takbo ako sa pinakamalapit na pintuan -- MALE WASHROOM...with males inside. =)))))))) Albeit the fact that said males are my friends' friends, it IS humiliating. Pero whatever. Si Garci naman, nagtago din, sa likod ng pintuan ng banyo...SA LABAS. =)) HAHAHAAA.

B: Garci! Pumasok ka!
G: Ha?
B: Bilis!

Pumasok naman si Garci, diretso sa cubicle. Ako nasa sulok. Nakasilip sa bintana. OMFG. Sumilip ako, wala na sina Bo. Si Ms. *** lumampas na.

B: Garci! Wala na! (Rinig pala sa labas)
G: Sigurado ka? *silip*

Sabay balik ni Ms. ***.

B: Garci andyan!

Sabay nawala na ulit.

B: Wala na!

Sumilip ako sa pintuan. Pink ang headband ko. :> Nakita. HAHA. Kung wala kong headband, mukha na kong lalaki. Kaso may headband, BULLSHIT.

B: Garci, takbo!!!

Takbo naman kami sa cubicle. =))

...
...
...

"BIANCS, LABAS KAYO DIYAN" -from outside. :))

HAHA. HULI KAMI EH. HAHAHAHAAA.

Pag labas namin, tawa kami nang tawa. Tawa din siya ng tawa. Tinatanong bat may kasama kaming lalaki sa loob ng banyo ng lalaki. HAHA. Our answer? "Nagtago po kami sa inyo eh."

Okay. Nakwento niya na sa ibang teachers. HAHA. OMFG. :)) Kung ibang teacher yun, DALI KAMI. See you sa CA's Garci! =)) Ayan tuloy, paglilinis ng ginawan ng Artisans...

Leah: Bianca, Garci! Special mention kayo paglilinis!

...
...
...

Naghugas tuloy kami ng mga kalderong puno ng panis na gawgaw. =))

ALABSYOO GARCI! >:D<>

FYI. May Strike 2 kami. Kaso it's not as good as this one. This is as good as it gets. So...there. =)) I'd rather not share the next one coz it pisses me off. =)) There's gonna be a Strike 3. Murphy's Law.

I Have A Stand

2008-02-26T21:59:00.001+08:00

I have a political stand.

I could not sleep because I was thinking of it. I finished my English Story (which is, by far, the worst form of treachery I have every done---to myself.) 1:30 AM. And I'm revising the whole thing. Back to ground zero. I hate it. I hate the way I wrote about frivolous interests of friggin' teenagers when I had the chance to write something completely out of my grasp---politics. I could've written something like...

There's a wedding. The wedding is cancelled. Reason: Bride doesn't like the groom's coat, or the mother-in-law's red hair (it might be passed on to her children). Result: No happy ending for anyone.

Symbolism: You shouldn't get fucking rid of someone just because of her relationships or trivial matters that she can't attend to. The in-law couldn't dye her hair black because she fixed the stupid wedding. You should not get rid of GMA because she has a stupid and greedy husband. I have no facts, yes. I don't research, that's a given. But I have my opinion. (Which, I admit, not as strong as figures but that's besides the point.) I believe that focusing on our economy is a WHOLE lot better than fixing out political crisis. Can't we just let the government do its job? Can we not see that the more we protest for reasons we do NOT understand, the more we go down? I believe in Jun Lozada, that there is corruption in the government. THAT IS TRUE. It was never a lie. I admire Jun Lozada for speaking up. I do not like the people's reaction to it. It's EDSA 3 all over again. People over-reacting. Filipinos fighting for the "Filipinos", when in fact, said "Filipinos" are just a minority. A fucking minority playing whose strings are pulled by their authoritarian and evilly intelligent leaders.

Can't we let go, for once? And see the light.

Do we always have to criticize?

CAN WE NOT SEE THAT PEOPLE POWER SHOULD TAKE ON ITS NEW MEANING. The power to wake up the innate goodness in us. The power to transform lives. The power to live the live the friggin' WORD and transform the world. Once we're done with ourselves, THEN the country will follow. Once OUR morality is fixed, we CAN have the right to demand morality from our government. It's the pot calling the kettle black all over again.

And this was supposed to be a three-liner post, but I could not stop myself.

I wonder how it feels to BE THERE. TO EXIST IN THAT WORLD. I'm so far. I'm moving in a week to a house 2 minutes away from here. I went there last Sunday, I went to the balcony. I saw all the rice fields of Teresa. I saw the whole town. Yes. The whole town. And that's it. I love the view, but it limits me. I can learn a lot from all the workers in the field everyday, but before I can do that, I have to understand the bigger picture. Then I can start changing my ways. We're not affected by this political crisis. Who are affected? Our classmates who are sons or daughters of politicians. But me? No. I am not affected. Gia Salindong said, POLITICS is like jumping into mud, whether you like it or not, you will get dirty. However, water exists. Water exists for us to clean ourselves, to repent.

In Jesus lies the living water. Not in projects like Chico Dam. Nope. Not in the destruction of individuals who have done their best to uplift the country's economy. Not in the murder of thousands of innocent children on the street. Not the forceful demands of going back to the streets. The streets gave us nothing but a path back to ground zero. We do not want ground zero. We want UP.

GEOMETRY, HERE I COME. Or rather, ENGLISH AND HEALTH. I AM DONE WITH GEOMETRY.

Letting Fucking Go

2008-02-24T17:51:00.004+08:00

Before I write my overly awsome story for English (Blah.), I'll write a letter to my forever-gone hair that I let go of yesterday. My overly long (and not to mention hard to brush) dark, dark, semi-rebonded locks. Imagine the Dekada '70 book. See its length? Multiply that by 2.5 and that's the amount of hair that's now gone from my head. Long, yeah? Now, I'm a girl with an apple head. And it's not even the nice kind of apple, it's the normal-looking apple. But I still kinda like it. It's not the hair that I want though, it's some sort of a starter. I couldn't bring myself to cut my hair like Sarah of ANTM just yet, not straight from my waist-length hair. That's suicide. Massive lock suicide. At least when I cut it in three weeks, (THAT length), I can say that I didn't cut so much of my hair and that I didn't torture it in such a sudden manner. I'll name my hair...Lemon. And just to make it believable, I'll refer to it as if it ~~was~~ is a person. This is my love letter.

Dear Lemon,

I took my chances with you. I've always wanted someone like you. Even as a child when I was stuck with an apple-shaped head without any resemblance of girly locks as some sort of a reassurance that I was a girl, I've wanted you.

When I was a sophomore, I experimented with hundreds (...okay, maybe just a few) hairstyles to see what fits me best. I made mistakes, disastrous mistakes. I committed mistakes that I regret up to now, but they're all learning experiences. They're learning experiences that led me to you. You who fulfilled all my girliest dreams. It didn't happen all at once. Hair-growing is tedious work. It took the whole of sophomore year and the whole of what has been my junior year to have you by my side. I decided to do all that I can to have you when I was a sophomore. I did NOT cut my hair.

When summer before my junior year came, we grew close. We're so close that I refused to have that evil hairstylist cut you. You began to be there for me whenever I needed you, whenever I needed a reassurance that I am happy. You were there. There, just there.

And soon, when school began, I realized that I have gone so attached to you. I can't bear to lose you so I did all that I can to keep you with me. I tried to make you happy, and you were contented. I was contented. I never intended to lose you. Or keep you until Prom, at least. It was my dream to have long, curly locks for prom. I wanted locks that would reach my waist, and make me feel like a fucking princess.

But now, prom's over. It was hard to please you, for you're stubborn. You don't cooperate. You don't give a damn that I'm miserable every time I brush you. You with tangled ends and splits and what the fuck. I was tired of keeping you with me when you don't even have the initiative to be smooth and easy to brush. It has always been me, me, me and me who keeps up with your demands while you do nothing but sit pretty. All my friends told me to cut you off, but not entirely of course. Just a little trim to make you realize that I can decide too. But nah, I didn't listen to them. I believed that I can still tame you, put a lot of conditioner here and there and a few salon treatments and you'd be back to normal. But no, I didn't have time to do that. You didn't want that.

So yesterday, I finally decided to let go. Let fucking go of you. I saw you on the floor. All fifteen inches or so of you. ~~It felt good.~~ I felt bare. I felt like I lost a part of my life that had been my identity for the whole of junior year. Then I realized all the troubles that you gave me. And then I smiled, God has planned something far greater for me. And it's not with you. It's with the overly short and incredibly posh 'do that I'll have three or four weeks from now. That is, if my mother allows me to get it. But now, I've let go of you. I smile. I don't hold my neck and look for my hair anymore. You're too hard to hold on to, and I learned to let go.

When we were kids, we were taught how to do the close-open. Klos-opin, klos-opin, according to our maid. And through that little trick, we learned to distinguish when to hold on...

...and when to let go.

Yesterday morning, the first thing I heard was "We had the right love at the wrong time." And yes, I loved having you, styling you. But Nina's correct, it's the wrong time. I just don't have the patience to deal with brushing you every single day. Even my parents approve of me letting go of you.

I'll miss you. I know you'll be back. You'll grow back. And I'll take you back with open arms. But as for now, now that you're not yet back, now that you have no plans of being back just yet, I'll have lots of fun with this short do and the even shorter do that'll soon occupy my crown. Well, it IS gonna look like a crown coz it'll be DEAD SHORT.

With love,

Bianca

HINDI NIYO NAIINTINDIHAN.

Hindi niyo kasi naiintindihan ang ibig kong sabihin.

Maiintindihan niyo rin yan ako, kapag naranasan niyong maputulan ng ganun kahabang buhok. AFTER spending the other parts of your life as a girl with the apple hair.

Wait, before I go, I just have to say. When Chicosci performed in boxers last night, I saw that Miggy had HOT HOT HOT (albeit gay) legs. :"> I CRUSH.

*Typos, not checked. Sarry. Forgive. Rushing to do English.

Operation Aftermath

2008-02-22T19:30:00.004+08:00

I'm soap. Soap has a polar head and a non-polar tail. Or is it vice versa? You know, I really shouldn't be forgetting my Chemistry, I still have roughly a little under a month to go till the Quarterly Exams. The Quarterly Exams, SUCH a stupid, stupid, stupid concept, I swear. Why test us of something they tested us on already (UT1, UT2, MQT, hel-lo?) And to give us FOUR tests in ONE day for two consecutive days? Not. Funny. But that's besides the point. I'm talking about soap, supposed to be anyway. Why do I always veer away from my topic? ALL the time? I guess veering away from your topic is inevitable, yet it's confusing. My train of thought passes the other railway and I'll end up seeing a dead end or a cliff at the end of the unfinished railway. Stupid engineers, or is it the government that's stupid for corrupting the money to be used to pay the engineers so that the railways may be done? Wait, wrong. Railways here are non-literal. No, train of thought is non-literal. My train of thought always go off. Moving on to my real topic. ~~I think~~ I am soap. On end's polar and one end's non-polar, making me bipolar. Yep, that's the main point of this paragraph, telling you that I am bipolar. (Now where did I put that straight-to-the-point APA Style hand-out that I did NOT study last night?)

Moving on, yeah. I'm pretty much bipolar. The past two or three days have been bizarre. I've been hyper in school. I don't even remember a time that I wasn't laughing or a time that I was still. I probably have ADHD, but unfortunately it wasn't diagnosed when I was a kid mainly because my parents didn't really know about ADHD, or at least they're not as familiar with it as they are now. Eitherway, no one testified that I have ADHD, so the reason for my hyperactivity is quite a mystery. I've been spending my lunch and my recess and all the time that I can with the Section 2 people...mainly because I can lie down on their floor without people staring at me for taking up their space. You see, the front of our classroom is occupied for lunch, Jana's group had claimed it ages ago. So I go to Section where there's an open area on the floor (albeit the fact that it's INSIDE the circle that LunchMates form every Lunch) where I can lie down. Cool. And they always tell me, Bianca, ang haba mo. Yeahhhh, pati buhok ko mahaba. I'm cutting it off tomorrow. I think. All off. Along with all the memories of the previous year. Lalalaaaa.

I don't understand why school makes me SO happy. Ecstatic, even. I laugh about the silliest things and I do the silliest things and even if I'm thinking of sad things for extended periods of time, I manage to not show it. My face's a remnant of our Prom theme, I guess? A MASK. Well, not really. I don't believe I'm faking happiness. I'm not that much of an actress, yo. I really AM happy. It's just that when I get home, when I'm alone and the people I usually run to when I'm alone are not there. I don't know, maybe I'm just not used to not having them there for me. But then again, they DO have their own lives and maybe I'm not part of those lives anymore and I chose the wrong people to spend a lot of my time with and they're not really worth it? I don't think so. I still think that these friends, whoever they are and whatever they're doing now, were there. There, at that time. At. That. Time. Now, I have no idea. But well, you can't force yourself to someone who don't wanna be your pal anymore, right? You have other options, take them. Hmm, nah. I'll save these friendships. I'm not quite ready to change my whole lifestyle all over again. Change my confidants? Change my habits. I don't care. I'll cry if I have to, be alone till god knows when, but I'm not running to other people. Chances are, the same things will happen, and you'll be sad all over again. Yes, yes, I know that change is the only permanent thing in this world. Geez. How many times, lord? But I still hate change. I'd rather be stuck in the eye of a hurricane forever than go outside and view the destruction said hurricane created. Vague, but yeah. True, true.

People suck, operation detachment. At least that's how Mara and Liseth phrased it. But maybe I don't want detachment? Maybe I want another sticky tape that would stick everything back into place. Liseth blurted out one day (and yes, my lovely front mate is even more random than I am and I love her for it.) Sana hindi na lang ako nakakaramdam. To which Bianca (no, not me. The OTHER Bianca, Bianca Velicaria. What IS up with my classmates? Putting Bianca beside Bianca? What?) to with Alam mo hindi maganda yung ganun. Mahirap yun. I thought: Oonga naman, paano kung hindi na lang ako nakakaramdam? Parang patay lang? Yeah, I won't be experiencing thrill and happiness, but then, I won't be experience the hurt of people leaving (or about to leave--TEPPPPPPPP). I guess it depends on what matters more to you? However, even if you choose what matters more, you really don't have a choice, like it or not, COGITO ERGO SUM. I THINK THEREFORE I AM. I AM. I AM. THEREFORE I FEEL. So scurry off evil thoughts and wish for the (fucking) best.

Let not my personal problems interfere with my relationships with others. Let not my problems with OTHERS interfere with my relationships with OTHERS still. This is a thought I must always remember. And most importantly, let not my PMS get the best of me. And believe it ~~or not~~, it just did. THUS, the rambling. :)) Wrong time to mess with me, darlings. Don't. Even. Try. OR we won't be talking for weeks. Aftermath.

Aftermath. AFTER-FUCKING-MATH. Screw Geometry and that stupid problem I didn't get to answer.

Ay pota, I just have to share before I go. While talking to Angel. =)) Hahahaaaaa! By Angel:

Angelica Dolor: love sucks! i dont want it. hahaha. Ewwwww.

WAHAHAHA! :)) Alabshoo Angel. We'll find our Mr. Rights. >:) Lalala. One FINE guy.

My Wings

2008-01-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be doing homework. I'm getting my planner. I'm checking what HW I need to do. This planner (This Journal Will Actually Changer Your Life 2008 by FreeSpeech Publications), is so OVERUSED. The edges are...what's that word? Frayed? I think. Well, yeah. That. It looks kind of old already, and it's 28 days old. :"> 28 days. It's been 31 days since I last went out (for non-school). Last time was my birthday. And I feel trapped. That's on for later.

Aww, who cares, I'll do it now. I feel trapped. I'm trapped by my family. I know they THINK they have my best interests at heart, but how can it be my best interests when I feel miserable every single day? I do NOT want to die rotting in my room studying for some stupid test that does not exist or training for the league on Feb. 7-9 that would be bruising my legs hours before the big night. Big night. Eww, that sounds more like a wedding than a prom. So let's call Prom...the resplendent night. Happy? Anyway, my parents have been prohibiting me from going out because of an odd...discovery. A discovery that took place August 2006 and got discovered November 2007. How...off. I'm getting punished for a moment of stupidity during sophomore year--the year I was at my worst. And how ironic can it be that I am getting punished THIS year, the year that I am at my best? Not anymore. All these fights with my parents made my grades slip. ALL MY GRADES did. Even Geometry, goddamnit! I DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES IN GEOMETRY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. (Except for that one mis-encircled ?? triangle last QT2.) And now, for the first time in my entire Junior Life, I got a gazillion mistakes for the UT2 and the QT3. That's how much they affect me. All my subjects slipped, last December, my grade were great. And this January, every single test slipped 5-7 points down. What. The. Hell. And guess what? I don't even care anymore. I'm trapped here, so be it. But I won't show them that I love it. It's actually the cause of my distraught, and during these busy days, the people I usually run to are not there. They must be over their moons and stars and Saturns loving their lives while I rot in the basement of negativity. They can't relate to me right now, coz their lives are sparkling clean and pretty. I'm not blaming them, they do have their lives. I don't even want pity, I don't want them to stop living glammed lives and sulk with me. I want to step up and go with them. I want my old self back. Ironic as it is, I'm kind of missing sophomore year. Sophomore year had its downs, but it definitely had perks. I'm not regretting being a sneaky slut back then. I became a goody-good butterfly this year, but I didn't expect my parents to clip my wings. I never expected them to make me a goody-goody catterpillar crawling up a stalk to grab a bite from that delicious green leaf. I never expected them to suck the happy pollen out of my life. I WANT MY LIFE BACK.

I want to JUMP OFF A BUILDING and feel the rush of thrill one more time. I want to venture into the unknown, sleep in the ocean without a single life-support with me again. If there's one thing that I think I regret, it's being good. If being good will bring my parents to restrict me more, then I'd be bad and happy. I thought they'd be happy if I change. It made them worse. Well, so much for me loving Geometry. I never did learn the basic principle: DON'T ASSUME.

Don't get me wrong. I love them and everything, and I know they'll do anything for me. Thing is, the ANYTHING and the EVERYTHING they're giving me, the support in extracurricular activities and all those material what nots, they're not what I want. I don't want to be a geek focused on whatever gadget's up everyone's sleeve. I don't want to be a super student involved in everything anymore, coz they think I'm too busy. I WANT A LIFE. I WANT MY LIFE BACK.

Everyone took a tiny bit of my life and threw it to the dogs. I'm left with nothing but boring old Bianca Ruiz from Grade School. I hate the dogs who devoured me and let me rot afterwards. They could at least have buried me, at least then, I won't be looking forward to light anymore. Every single spark of light that escapes the leaves above the forest path makes me jump in delight. And seep back into the ground again as it flutters away.

I guess it's true that the more you take something away from someone, the more she's gonna want it back. You only realize something's worth when it's gone. And guess what I've realized?

*Typos, forgive 'em. No rechecking. Work to do.

(Alomst) Ala-Pau

2008-01-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

This might not be one of the 1AM entries, but it's close. :)) HAHAAAA. Pau natutulad na ko sa'yo ah. Just gotta let stuff out for future reference.

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Todaaaay. Today was off. It started out like the past two days--BAD. Sad, saddist, sandamakmak na tulalang minuto. Things aren't going great with my parents, not really. We're not exactly fighting, they're normal to me. They kid around, they laugh, but really, I'm the problem. I can never tell them stuff again. Kind of. I used to tell them who I liked and who I didn't like. HAHAAA. Just one crush they didn't know about, really. And that didn't even matter. The Kevin Bautista from Freshman Year crush. But now, ever since January something, I can't bring myself to tell them about how my life is. Hell, they don't even know who I hang out with in school anymore! Usually, they're the first to notice the crowd I hang out with. Whether they approve or not, well, it doesn't actually matter. They let me learn inside school. But outside? Nah. No can do. When it's about the outside world, I have to learn from what they SAY. I am not allowed to venture out because I'm too young to. I'll probably laugh at this entry one month from now. I think my parents know what's best for me, but they're just not as Marmee-ish as the mothers and fathers I know. They're perfect in their own way, I just HOPE AND PRAY that they accept that I'm NOT prim and proper and I'm NOT ever gonna be like ANY of them. I'm different.

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Well anyway, so far so good. I actually CRIED last uh, Monday and Tuesday. I dunno, everything piled up, I guess. And no one was really there, coz everyone had a test (Stupid Geometry) and projects and meetings and all that shit. (WOAAAH, Pau isa pang special mention. Thanks for having some sort of insomia and being up at 3AM consoling this bitch. Oh yeah. Haha! Tuwa ka na, Poy. >:P) And moving on. I somewhat woke up from the depression disorder (Medical Student's Syndrome? Hahaaa.) and SNAPPED BACK TO REALITY. I'm fine. I'm quite happy. Everything's back to normal. But I still don't know what to expect. Friendswise, I'm GREAT. Studieswise, ang galing ko pa din chumamba. It seems like I'll never lose my luck touch. Yay. Thank you God. Familywise...here comes the problem. I'm still the ice cold bitch who surfaced January 2008. And hey, no period = no blaming of hormones.

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I haven't studied for the tests. I THINK I've studied enough for Filipino. Or not. No MMFF yet. Just read all the crap all over again and familiarized myself with the stuff to be memorized. But hey, hey, hey. I don't give a DAMN. Studying doesn't help when it comes to Sir Ken's tests. : Everything's in the test OR stock knowledge. (Goodbye pride and luck, my Filipino dictinary of deep, revolutionary words is very...very...ve...ver...v...VERY limited. Sorry na, I'm not Alex Reyes eh. :P) And I haven't began Geom. Oh, no pala. I did. I read Reisha's reviewer. :P And opened the mock test by Lara. Opened is the operative word, I guess. I'm answering it soon. I shall. =)) Until 3AM, I'm awake. THANKS TO 2 SACHETS OF COFFEE, ONE TABLESPOON OF COFFEEMATE, ONE GLASS OF HOT WATER, AND THE EVER-SO-HANDY STARBUCKS TUMBLER. I am so guilty for patronizing Starbucks, but it's just this once, for the tumblers. They save my life. Saved, saving, will save. I love coffee. Even if it stains my teeth, as Isa constantly reminded me of last Monday. (Prom coming, be careful. Lose weight, don't stain teeth. What nots. Get dress. Set make-up appointment. UH.)

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HOLY CRAP. OKAY. HELLO SIMILAR POLYGONS, LONG TIME NO SEE. I'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU. :P

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ONE SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT. LISETH LUARCA. Thanks for the song, na-LSS ako. =)) Trying To Get The Feeling Again, the Christian Bautista version. Shit. Ganda. But nah, I can't relate to it...directly anyway. I don't feel that. :)) I just someone to feel that for me. OUCHHHHH. The persona's sweet. AT LEAST he tried. But still, OUCH yun ah. Kawawa. Hahahaaa. Lord God. Wag po, kahit kelan sa talambuhay ko. :)) But it's PRETTY. I've been up, do-o-ooown, trying to get the feeling again! AWWWWWWWWW.

L-O-V-E

2008-01-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

It's 1:08 am, I finished studying for Chem over half an hour ago, and I'm supposed to be reading Little Women or reviewing for my History quiz about Renaissance and Reformation. I don't even remember a single fact about the topic. I'm quite disoriented. But no, I am not studying, neither am I sleeping. Let's set the facts straight: I am not sleepy, and I do have intentions of studying and I have to wake up at 5:00 am, and tomorrow's the Doc Com Picture-Taking for the Prom AVP, and I'm going to have black olives under my eyes, better known as ~~eye bags~~ the marks of responsible students. So that's why I'll keep this short. I have to rush a little bit.
.

I'm not doing my HOMEWORK now because I was chatting with my dear old bitch, Mr. Candle, aka Mr. Forest Candelaria. I haven't talked to him in a while. I was telling him of how busy I am, and well, hell. The 14-year-old said he's to add to my list of stressful thoughts: PROM. Prom's not a stress anymore. Doc Com's friggin' HAPPY. I love my com. Members, post the pictures already, @ http://aadoccom09.multiply.com/ Okay?
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What's our topic, then? It came to the big word. L-O-V-E. But then again, it's not a big word after all. And this is the MAIN EVENT of this short post.
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Love is not a big word.(Contrary to how I used to see it before) In fact, it's rather small and short, made up only of four letters. Only four. You can write it with five loops of your cursive hand writing. (Or about seven sharp strokes with your Assumption handwriting.) No, love is not a big word. It is quite small. That's why you can't run away from love, it'll follow you around--coz it's so small it fits in your pocket. The letters L-O-V-E are nothing, really, they're merely part of the alphabet. A fragment of the idea it represents. But the word itself is insignificant. It's the things you do for it that's BIG. You're never too young to love. You're never too old to love. According to my bitch, we're mature adults and capable of being in love. Well, who cares? I don't even know what the word means, not really. Apparently my concept of it being for parents is wronger than the wrongest wrong. (Whatt?) Maybe you don't need to know what it is, maybe you just need to feel it. But then again, I wouldn't really know. I'm supposed to be over the moon. Jumping high and exploring life, I'm a teenager. That's what teenagers do: MESS UP and EXPLORE. Ask those who are in love, they might help you. :)
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Idea expressed, must go back to studying. Ha-ha. Hey BITCH, I'm done. It took so long, beating around the bush? :)) THIS IS FOR YOU 'REST. :)) HAHA. For your inner thoughts. >:) LOL.

Words

2007-12-31T18:51:00.000+08:00

Okay I just HAVE to share this:

I feel violated. -Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers, #24

(Might I remind you why he changed from his old number 8 to 24. Reason: 23 + 1 = 24)

New year, new life, ~~new~~ older shorts for the LA Lakers? In all fairness, I kinda like it on him. It's so old school. Wait, is that an omen representing his AGE? Oh no, Kobe, you're getting older. Shame, I rather like you. Well, I understand that you're in the middle of some traumatic press experiences and management blues, but one can not begin to question your greatness when it comes to basketball. I mean, sure, Tony Parker looks hotter that you, but well, you're still the first basketball player that I've KNOOOOWN...about. No one beats the 23 + 1 guy, even though you're so full of yourself, I gotta admit. Oh and by the way, the Spiderman-inspired shoes work. ;))

Now, off to the real issue when it comes to ME, ME, ME. The biggest issue hounding my subconscios is actually female hormones. I think the reason for my incredible hatred of the December 20s are very emotional (or rather, hormonal) in nature. I usually get my period every 19 or 21 days. Yeah, yeah, I know. Why's the cycle so short? Well, maybe because I'm long? My life needs balance, you know. Well, that's pretty much going off-topic. Here are things that you should bea ware of when you mess with me when it's a week before my period, odds are, you'll have me a) yelling at you, b) crying my heart out secretly, c) giving you the cold shoulder, or d) all of the above. (Note to self: Don't make decisions when you're a week away from bleeding, or your heart will bleed along with your vagina. Try me. Note to people who read my note to self: Try me is actually a dare, and you're not supposed to try.)

Think of it this way, if what guys hate most about being guys is (according to Francis anyway, I don't know about other people, haven't asked yet) having to be the one to say sorry even though you don't a really have a fault to a girl, the worst thing about being a girl is the feeling that you can't possibly have done anything wrong...all by yourself anyway. The blame should be directed to the excessive amount of estrogen in our body. We don't really want to be like this. We're actually avoiding to be like this, but we can't help it. Earlier today, around 11 am, I was in the car on the way to Megamall (to get my planner, beybeh!), and I was in tears. I couldn't help it. My nose had this tingling feeling and suddenly, my eyes were producing these...liquid that I refuse to call tears. Because I am not SAD. Neither am I excessively happy. Tears only happen when you're REALLY sad and REALLY happy. Since I am neither, I call the funny liquid Drops of Frustration. Woah, could be a nice name for a candy.

And it didn't rub off.

I bought Ice Cream from Snowstorm, and I snapped at the girl behind the counter. Damn it, I asked for the ice cream with loads of chocolate in in, the ones with BITS of chocolate and not the ones that tasted like chocolate. But what? She gave me chocolate ice cream with cherry. Where the hell did the cherry come from? It's a good thing my Mom pulled me away to breathe before I said anything. I was FRUSTRATED over nothing. Hell, ice cream can't really mean ANYTHING, right? I'm lying. I'm not frustrated over nothing. I was frustrated over SOMETHING. But that something is hardly the topic here, so what the hell. Save that for later. I was waiting outside of the department store, and I got so pissed off that the ice cream did not have chocolate bits (smart, right?), that I crushed the cup and threw it away (while mentally saying sorry to the kids who never got to taste ice cream). How childish. Hours later, I was at Shopwise, Libis, and I saw ice cream. And I was like, What. A. Stupid. Spur-of-the-moment. Reaction. What was the point?

What's the point in going on?

Simple. Because in the end, things work out just fine. You can't really have a happy life if you haven't had any sad or frustrating or confusing experience to compare it with, right? Right? Okay, I'm pretty much trying to convince myself now. Thing is, I loved how my 2007 was. Things worked out pretty well. It started in a rather emotional way, with me trying to find myself and working out priorities. Then some people came to my rescue. My friends, you guys know who you are. They grabbed me from that pile of ditch I was swimming in, washed me with lukewarm water and dressed me again. And here, I present to you, Bianca of 2007. Happy and so contented with life. I was bored part of the year, but as it progressed, I found joy in the simplest things. Even a text message can brighten up my day. A ballpen from Trisha can save my note-taking obssession. A little bite of my Mom's lasagna will make us all smile. And a tight, squeezing hug from a friend or my little brother can make my day. Friends to come over and see our games are big, big pluses too! (Shout out to Alyssa, Meryl, Drew, Paulo, Marci, Ryan, Alex, Brian, Sam, Anna Q!, Trisha, and all the other AA people who watched us!) Little things make me happy. I just wish those little things will not remain in this blessed spunkfectacular year.

I can't put anything more in words. I'm just so oddly contented, yet I feel like I lost things. Words, words. In the end, it's all we really have. The right words, or the wrong one, they're nothing but words. And we have to make do with what we have.

Blog-worthy Birthday Moments

2007-12-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

I expected a boring birthday. In-frigging-credibly B-O-R-I-N-G. (Born On Regular Inning, Nothing Going) Proof? Well, hell. I'm gonna go grab my (new!) (Nokia :c) cell phone and search amongst the, uh, Sent Items.

To: Marcilla, Cheese

Waiting for the car. Hahaha! I'm booored on my birthday, kamusta naman yun. (Blah Blah Blah)

To: Marcilla, Cheese

Hahaha! Bitter ko today, amp. =)

To: Marcilla, Cheese

Ewan ko. Baka kasi I don't have any idea what I wanna do today, bored. Frustration building up!!!

To: Donato, Bo

Boring. :c

To: Donato, Bo

Ang panget ng mood eh! : Saan kayo pupunta today?

To: Donato, Bo

I dunno. Go to House of Minis to eat. Mom wants to go there eh. Then The Fort? Fully Booked? Saya na nun. X) Pero di rin. Pucha. Wala ako sa mood. Bad triiip. :(

To: Donato, Bo

Damn! Dayuin niyo ko sige. XD CHEERMEUP (Blah Blah Blah)

To: Ramos, Alexis

(Blah Blah Blah) Alam mo ba! Nakita ko yung best friend ko sa Fun Ranch...habang nagbabalot yung Nanay ko ng regalo para sa kanya. Heh. Pupunta silang Galle. Di Pa GHills eh, dun ako pupunta. : Ganyan ako ka-bitter. :l Ha-ha.

I didn't REALLY feel the birthday spirit. LET ME BEGIN WITH LAST NIGHT.

In the morning, my Mom told me that my laptop won't be arriving 'till January. Well, I didn't mind it at all. I'm gonna get it anyway, so why bother? I don't need to receive it exactly on the date of my birthday, right? But then she said, she still wants to get me something and asked me if I wanted a phone. I said, sure. As long as it has INCREDIBLE messages memory. My long-time dream. Unlimited memory! She instructed me to text her the unit that I want, so well.

I got home from watching Sakal Sakali ~~Sakalo~~ Saklolo and used the PC. Wondering WHAT in the world I'm doing on my birthday. Depressed mode, coz Global Fun seemed so...malabo. I was ITCHING to have some sort of...FUN. Weirdos. (: I wasn't even supposed to watch! Apparently, my Dad said NO at the last minute. But dear old Trish managed to convince him to allow US to watch, since I don't want to watch on my birthday. That would be riddiculous, right? So anyway. When Dad got home, Mom called for me. I went to them, and SURPRISE! I got a New Phone! It's NOKIA THOUGH! OH MY GOD. Oh. My. Frigging. God. BUT I'M A SONY GIRL! :(( A SONY GIRL!!! OH NO. I was panicking. Ha-ha! But I couldn't do a thing naman eh, so I just TRIED to learn how to use Nokia (WHICH I didn't do very well on, might I just add). Nokia 6120 Classic's the unit. It's slim and pretty. I kinda like it now, a lot. It has incredible memory space for messages, so that does it.

After that, what? I didn't have anything planned for my birthday. So whatever. I slept at 1AM, and woke up at 2AM. (Pau was calling my phone around 1:20AM. HAHAHAHA! SARRY! WAS ASLEEP! Malas, amp.) We left the house 2:30AM to go to Quiapo. Mom, Trish and I were attending the 4AM mass. It was a good mass, very...solemn. I loved the music, I loved the song, I loved the atmosphere. What bothered me was the priest. Para siyang Halloween magsalita. Brrr. And soon after, we went to Tropical to grab some breakfast, and went home again.

I slept till my Mom woke me up. I was pissed coz I was EXTREMELY sleepy. I dressed up, and picked a dress shirt. A really, really dressy-not-meant-for-playing dress shirt. Trish was all "Ate, ang panget. 'Wag." And pissed Bianca snapped at the poor kid. "Damn it, let me wear what I want to wear, for Christ's sake." WELL, NOW I WISH I LISTENED TO HER.

We were SUPPOSED to go to The Fort, but then Mom wanted to go to the Ortigas Area first. Sooo, okay. I WAS SO BORED. I was texting the whole time and snapping at everyone. I was thinking, stupid, why did I make my mother cancel the Singapore trip anyway? Lazy, lazy bitch. And why didn't I push my father to give me that McDonalds Kiddie Party that I wanted SO MUCH. Then I remembered, oh yeah, I got the phone, I'm getting the laptop. Be contented. It's a pretty good birthday gift. But still, the kid inside me WANTED FUN, NOT TECHY STUFF. I wanted to HAVE FRIGGING FUN! AND I WAS SOOOO incredibly bored! We ended up eating at Gerry's Grill at Tiendesitas, and I was kinda texting lang and laughing in a forced way. Hey, I was bored. And I had one of the girly mood swings. : TSK. Ungrateful woman! Ha-ha! SORRY! :(

My Mom wanted to go to Active Fun to get the pictures from Migo's birthday party. And I SO wanted to use the bathroom already. The bathroom was upstairs, near Space Balls. Or what was it called? Yeah. There. And my Mom would NOT let me go! She kept saying, wait for me! I'm dizzy (she had a Margarita, damn?). And she forced me to go to the LITTLE GIRL BATHROOM at Active Fun. HOW SHAMEFUL. Little did I know...

Little did I know...

...That the main reason for NOT making me go up (and find my LOST sister, Tricia), was...

...save that for later. Ha-ha!

Finally, Mom brought me upstairs. We went to Space Balls (WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?), and I saw the sign "Bianca's Birthday Party!".

Girl: For Bianca's party?

Mom: She's Bianca.

Bianca: Huh? Duh?

Girl: Ah, go up na lang po. Sa labas yung stairs.

Bianca: Mom, sa sobrang gusto kong mag-Kiddie Party, pati yung party sa taas kapangalan ko! MAN. :l

Mom: Sandali, akyat tayo, naiihi ako.

Bianca: Mom, ano ka ba! May nag-bbirthday diyan!!!

Mom: *opens the door*

Bianca: *sees na walang tao* Ma, buti walang tao. Nakakahiya tayo. *looks around* Wala naman pong banyo dito eh.

Mom: *goes straight inside*

Bianca: Maaaaaaaa.

THEM: SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!! *NOISE, NOISE, NOISE!*

Bianca: WAAA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! =)) *HUGS!*

It was friggin' AWESOME! :)) Trish, Alyssa and Tep planned it pala! Nung birthday pa ni Migo! AWWWWW. :X :> :)) HERE ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (THOSE WHO WENT TODAY!!!)

MY SANTAS!

Alyssa

Teptep

Trish

Mom

Dad

MY LITTLE ELVES. HAHAHA!

Arianne

Migo

Meryl

Maan

Trisha

Ianah

Nela

Regine

Marci

Paulo

Saso

Leo

Lidi

Jesy

Cayco

DID I MISS ANYONE? :)) IT WAS AWESOME! We played sa Play Area, and shot some...uh, CANON BALLS! HAHAHAHAHA! GOD. I CAN'T PUT IT IN WORDS! Basta, we played, and got sooooo ROWDY. And, we ate merienda! I didn't really get to eat coz I had to, uh, tend to my brother. He was having one of HIS moods and well, hell. WILD KID. But I love him all the same! I have 2 cakes! THEY'RE IDENTICAL! Except one has a candle, and the other one has a dedication. "Happy Birthday Bianca! -CPG". Buy one-take one eh, kidding! The one with the candle came from Alyssa and all the rest! THANKS A WHOLE LOT! :X :">

After eating, we went back to the play place. And the memories...I shall keep them forever. FOREVER. We played Ice-Ice-Water. I got rid of the Little Blue Box. I got SO amazed by the floating balls! And the raining balls! And I got hit by Paulo and Marci's incredibly aimed canon balls. : SWACK. :O AND WE TOOK PICTURES! HAHAHAHAHAHA. My Mom gave all of them little stuffed toys. It's actually a pig, but it has a bee costume on. I have no idea why? It's called BIG, according to Bo. According to Trish, it was a combination of ME and HER. Ha? =)) Trish (and Alyssa and Tep ba???) got me this REALLY cute green ball that lights up and stuff!

OH YEAH. Before everything. I saw Alyssa and Reg at the Toy Barn! Gulat ako eh. One word: Katangahan. Mukha kong tanga. Sabi ni Mommy, ilayo ko daw sila. YUN PALA. AKO YUNG DAPAT NILANG ILAYO. But hey, I was sincere. I REALLY had kwento. ;) I was supposed to go to Greenhills and have my phone uh, open-line, so I could use the K700i for Sun. I can NEVER let go of that phone. SONY ERICSSON ROCKS MY SOCKS. (: And probably get a planner? I want the black one from Power Books eh! I NEED THAT! Sa Shang, sana meron pa. HAY. Or Mega! Damn.

THANK YOU GUUUUUUUUUUYS! THIS, BY FAR, IS THE FRIGGING BEST BIRTHDAY I'VE EVER, EVER, EVER HAD COZ OF THE SURPRISE AND THE AMOUNT OF FRUSTRATION YOU GUYS LIFTED. >:D<>

Simbang Gabi

2007-12-16T05:20:00.000+08:00

Okayyyy. Two years ago, I think I completed the 9 masses. And I remember my wish. HAHAHA! Something to do with my Junior Prom and K.B. It's a wish I don't want fulfilled anymore. I can't believe I'm a Junior now and am having ze prom in 7 Fridays. I feel so old, even if I'm younger than most of my classmates (NOT for long! Ha! I'll soon be 16 too!) It's the same feeling I feel whenever I wear my white HS Gala Uniform. Oh man, just about a few years ago, I'd look at the Ates whenever they're in the white long sleeves and pretty collar and think of them as...uh, I d'noe, regal? Old? I never, ever saw myself wearing it. But, in a month or so, I'll be wearing it again. Okayyy, off topic again. See! Sakit ko na yan eh, always, always going off-topic. So, and last year, I ~~think~~ KNOW I completed the dawn masses, and I remember my wish. I don't believe it ever, ever came true. Too bad. This year, I plan on completing it, and I wonder...am I supposed to be *thinking* of my wish WHILE going to mass or should I just wish AFTER I completed the 9 masses? Coz I'm not quite sure what I should be wishing for now. I have 2 wishes, but one is utterly selfish and one's...I'm not sure yet. But say, what if I think of the 2 wishes while I go to mass every morning and then choose at the end? Will it work? I don't think my wishes ever come true. :( But then if they did come true, then the present would have ceased to exist. If they did come true, I'd never, ever have the ideas, the people, the etc. that I have now. Maybe, just maybe, God not giving in is a blessing in disguise? A leeway that led me to the present? Maybe. Or maybe not. Or maybe. Oh ~~man~~ god, GIMME A SIGN, WILL `YA? I won't tell you what the wishes are, maybe they'll come true some time, who knows. And I remember, if you tell someone what your wish is, it won't come true.

Enough ramblings.

My mother woke me up at exactly 3:29 AM. I remember because the moment I opened the bedroom door, my phone's alarm sounded. And I set it at 3:30AM. And I took my bath, and dressed up! And Trish woke up, said she WANTS to go, so she took her bath. We were late...sort of. Inabutan lang namin ay 2nd reading. Haha! Trish kasiiii, next time, wake up when I wake you up. I slept at around 11:30 last night, and I woke up EVERY 20 MINUTES! Either I was excited, or I was dreaming of something happy. Dayng! Shout outs! Hoy Teeeeep, nagsimba ka ba? Hindi kita nakita sa church! But I saw Kuya Ian with the pretty petite girl. Parang last year nagsusulyapan lang sila sa simbang gabi, this year, magkatabi na sila. Heh. Marciiiii, gumising ka ba naman? AT ALYSSA, madaya kayo. Your 'dawn' mass is at NIGHT :

There's something about the priest's homily that caught me off-guard, and that's what I wanted to write about, BUT dangit, I can't remember what it was! All I remember was staring at the lights of the Capiz Parol flashing unceasingly in this utterly timed (albeit ridiculous) pattern. I memorized it. There are 8 bulbs, each located at the end of each of the 8 rays. One bulb's at the center of the star. And little bulbs are at the circle around the star. 4 bulbs will light up, and the 4 in between the 4 lighted bulbs will light up after, so by then, 8 stars will be lit. Then the one in the middle lights up. The first 4 bulbs that lit up will turn off. It'll repeat about 10 times, picking up speed. And then, the little bulbs at the circle will light up now, and I can't get the pattern anymore coz it was too fast. Okayyyy, bored. : Such, such, such a waste of brain cells.

I am going to complete the dawn mass and have a nice wish fulfilled. Wait a minute, I had 2 wishes last year. One wish was to change. I wanted my old self back, I wanted the stupid sophomore gone. And I think I got that wish. I saw the changes this year initially as something that RUINED me, but then, now that I think of it, it helped SHAPE me. I love this year. It seems like got my wish after all. Even though it's not my dawn mass wish. I guess He knew that my Big Wish isn't really what I thought was my Big Wish. The Big Master up there knows. (;

Later's Trisha's AFC Festival. I'm going to bring her to Ateneo, together with Mom. We're supposed to be leaving at 6AM, but it's now 6:14. Search me. And, after that, it's Migo's birthday party at Fun Ranch. I REALLY want a kid's party there too, kaso mukhang malabo. Mukha kong tanga eh. HAHA! Sweet 16 at Active Fun? What the hell. :)) I'm back to Square One. WHAT to do on my birthday! Hey, hey, CPG and LVG, ARE we going to push through with EK? Even though there's no more Space Shuttle, Wheel of Faith (?), Log Jam, and Flying Fiesta? (Sta. Rosa Government closed it. :) You want??? REPLY! Or d'ya wanna go to Global Fun? Or Ice Skating na lang? :

Christmas Break...COME ALREADY!

Things scheduled from tomorrow till January 3!

-Vigil preparations
-Gift shopping! (OH MY GAAAAHD! :c LATE!!!)
-VIGIL! (Dec. 19-20)
-Trinoma with Poppers on the 20th. (Woy Inaaah! Huhu. Commme kasi.)
-Meeting with Prom Photographer @ SM Taytay on the 21st
-Meeting with Prom Photographer @ Starbucks, Galleria on the 22nd
-CHRISTMAS :X
-EK on the 27th??? Tuloy??? ((: Or Global Fun kaya tayo? Or Ice Skate? Whaaat?
-I don't know what I'm doing on my birthday :(
-READ LITTLE WOMEN. Finish the darn book! :))
-Play basketball, PLEASE! Sinong game? Give me a date, place and time.
-PAINT. LORD. Kelangan ko nang mag-paint. Sana 'wag akong tatamarin.
-GET more books
-Give the darn blue box. Ha. Make me. :))
-Envi Ed HW
-Chemistry HW
-WATCH MMFF! Sinong gusto kong samahan? Need it for the Filipino Film Review.
-Condition my mind NOT to forget the lessons even if I'm lazy for the break.
-Get the Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis. I can't read the rest of the books (under my bed nooow) till I read that! Or get someone to lend it to me?

OH MYYYY. I'm so ready for a vacation! ~~FOR SUMMER~~ I'm scared of summer. I'm scared of ALL the changes that'll happen. I'm scared of Senior Year. Hahaha.

PS. Naubusan ako ng Puto Bumbong. :

One At A Time

2007-12-01T16:13:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted here in a while. Well, I did post, but I did it on multiply. Sue me. But I shall neglect blogger no more.

But just so you can catch up nicely, no read my previous entries at the multiply site. There are a few nonsensical bulls such as surveys and thoughts and quotes, but they need not be specified HERE. Specific links are as follows:

Look Here and find these posts:

Yeah, Nov. 8, `07

My Sister Is Such A Flirt, Nov. 13, `07

A Need To Share At The End Of The Day, Nov. 26, `07

And now, what have I been up to? I've been falling madly in love with food. Seriously, If (and only if) I was married, I'd be thinking I'm pregnant. But, as luck would have it, I'm 15 years old (16 on December, don't fret), and I am not married, so I cannot possibly be pregnant. Call it the post-menstruation cravings. I woke up pretty early, probably around 8? I'm not exactly sure. I read Little Women Chapter 8, and fell back asleep. I woke up at around 12 or 1PM and I read again, and I ate. I ate Lumpiang Shanghai with KETCHUP, yum, I ate Kettle Chips with Parmesan and Kettle Chips with Parmesan and Cream Cheese, and I also ate 6 pieces of Belvita Milk Biscuits Sandwich Chocolate Creme or sorts, and I ate Sky Flakes with Cream Cheese, and I ate a banana with peanut butter and condensed milk, and I firmly believe that I finished the Peanut Butter with real nuts jar all by myself yesterday and today. What else DID I eat? I seem to remember I ate a lot more than that but I can't remember what exactly. I've been dying to get Chicken Nuggets and 4 extra sauces, but what the hell.

And mind you, I actually read Little Women up to Chapter 14. Only 9 more to go and I'm done with Book 1. I absolutely love it, but I don't know why I can't seem to finish it properly! It's detailed and very vivid. I can relate? Not much. And now, I'm supposed to be...well, reading it. I shall do it in a while, I'll just go find the flags I need for my History HW. There are so many mosquitoes under the table, they're feasting over my legs. Damn it. Get away.

OH. I NEED TO SHARE THIS. Guess what I dreamt of? PROM! I went to Prom without a date because I forgot to ask and I planned to call a guy when I'm there already and make him go, but then whatever. I still went without a date. And I saw this girl with absolutely hairy legs and my eyes popped coz they were worse than a male's. And she got mad and slapped me I think. And then I ran away with some girl friends and the stupid security guard caught us, and all of them were brought to this bar while I hid and watched them from the PALAYAN. :)) And they escaped. And now at SM Megamall, we rode a friggin' cab, and the cab was stolen from the driver's uh, mistress. What a total mess. I can't remember the other parts.

Anyway, I gotta move along. The particular reason for this post is a statement my wondahful friend Ian gave me. We were talking about the beach and somehow the topic maneuvered its way towards this: Actually. But doesn't it make you think? That in saying ILOVEYOU!, you aren't supposed to expect something back? Because loving a person doesn't depend on that person saying iloveyoutoo. It's a statement of fact where the reaction is irrelevant, although usually, it leads us to bleed all the more. -Ian. And to which I replied, Okay, that officially opened my mind. I so want to kill everyone out there who won't admit their true feelings because of the stupid notion of rejection. But then again, I'll be the first person dead if I do. LOL. True. :))))) I haven't gotten over rejection. The thing about humans, they can probably make anyone fall in love with you, it's a matter of choosing who you WANT to fall in love with you. And say, when they all do, the ONLY person you want to love you does not. It's the irony of human emotions. You hurt someone, and you get hurt too. Now THAT, my friends, is SO TEENAGERY. We teenagers have this idealistic concept of how the world works, and we can put it in words so that we come off smart or wordy and crap, but really, they're just ideas. We're not speaking from experience, coz even though we THINK we've gone through a lot, there are a lot more barricades in the future, so the older people WILL always have the best advice. I wonder how much, uh, secret smiles they offer each other when we teenagers try to talk smart and stuff about concepts like love and life and family. Truth is, we don't know a thing. :))))

I'm blabbing. I must get away now, and read. And do my History homework. IF you want deep shits and talks, call me up at HOME. A phone call will make my day. (Robitusin, cough.) Text me for my landline number. :)) Or IM. Whatever.

Last piece of advertisment:

Women's Basketball League SEMI-FINALS slash CROSS-OVER tomorrow, December 2, 2007! Assumption Antipolo will be facing Montessori Integrated School of Antipolo [Haha, battle of Antipolo?] at 3:00 PM, Xavier High School. YOUR support will be GREATLY appreciated! We need all the crowd we can get and PLEASE do come! :)))) I will absolutely love you with all my heart if you watch, and my team mates will love you too! It's just for ONE hour, please do come?

OYY. PS! ONE YEAR! 8-8? REMEMBER? Paulo, Alex, Alec, Francis, Ryan, Bo, Drew, Leo && Bianca, Faye, Raia, Angel, Maan, Jesy, Alex, Pam! :)) =)) In order pa yan. :)) YES, I REMEMBER! I THINK I remember the clothes too.

Paulo-white-ish shirt with blue lining? Closed shoes :)) Yeaaah. Then changed into slippers when we left!

Alex-White shirt with green lining? And hair was up, like an anime!

Alec-Beige long sleeves! Yeaaah. =))

Francis-Pink shirt! And jeans.

Ryan-Uhm, BROWN??? And jeans!

Bo-Red jacket! Green shirt? WAA!

Drew-Khaki shorts and dark colored jacket

Leo-White polo with orange and blue stripes

Bianca-Blue shirt and black leggings

Faye-off-white shirt with lotsa prints that we got from Human. :))

Raia-Uhm, brown top and jeans!

Angel-Blue top cut like spags but thicker and loose fit

Maan-Was it the pink knitted top? Or was that during the 2-I soiree? Waa?

Jesy-Pink tank top! And bermuda shorts?

Alex-Raia's brown shorts, a black jacket. :))

Pam-Grayish blue top, a little loose. And skinny!

AND I REMEMBER THE KAMIAS! AND THE...THE...SANTA CLAUS AT MARCI'S GARAGE! Hahaha! :)) And Drew not knowing how to get home. =)) And the Marci opens the bathroom door while Faye was inside, washing her hands (ACCIDENT DAW, BTW. :]) Haha! AND, and! Magic Sing Book with the label "Book of Song". And my blurred pictures! :)) AND THE LOVELY FOOD. Yaaaay. 1 YEAR!!!. Ang bilis. :))

Pag-ibig in Class?

2007-11-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

SINONG NAKAPANSIN NG MGA KLASE NATIN NGAYONG NAKARAAN? Puro na lang pag-ibig, pag-ibig. O baka naman sa Filipino lang. No, no, I remember reciting about men and women in AP! Yes, yes, there have been love discussions. I remember English, Little Women, Jo and Laurie? Heh. WELL ANYWAY. This week I've made a BIG BIG resolution, I'll recite more and be the smart-sounding Bianca that I was before. Really. Coz lately I've been just...quiet. Probably stressed, probably taking down notes, or probably PASSING notes? No idea, I just wasn't quite the classroom buddy the teachers want students to be. I've had...worse days.

.
Hold it.

.
Rewind.
.
Again.
.
Play.

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I couldn't be better! Everything's non-stressful. We finished IP! And we never even got a wee bit stressed--okay maybe a LITTLE. And there are so many HW, and all that's left for me is reading Little Women. And that's IT! I'm finished! We're expert crammers, all High Schoolers are. Ay sus. Wait. I have to read Minsan Pa pa pala. It's a Filipino HW. SEE! I toldya! It's all about LOVE. There's even the Filipino PPT from Sir's flash drive, the title is Love101. Haha. Toldya, toldya. Here's the poem we so fondly read today: (I RECITED HA. I'm back to my old self. No problems, well there are, but I choose to not think of 'em.)

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NOTE BEFORE READING IT, tamaan na lahat ng tatamaang teenager. =)) HAHA. Comment on the frigging poem. She couldn't have placed it even better. Well, really, the old people DO know what love really is...and what WE think is love just might not be. *Ubo Ubo Ubo, yung MGA dapat tamaan. HAHA! Kidding. Bati tayo. :))*

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Pag-ibig
Ni Corazon de Jesus

Isang aklat na maputi, and isinulat: luha!
Kaya wala kang mabasa kahit isa mang talagata;
Kinabisa at inisip mula ating pagkabata;
Tumanda ka't nagkauban, hindi mo pa naunawa

Ang pag-ibig, isipin mo, pag inisip, nasa puso!
Pag pinuso, nasa isip, kaya't hindi mo makuro.
Lapitan mo nang matagal ang pagsuyo'y naglalaho—
Layuan mo at kay lungkot, nanaghoy ang pagsuyo!

Ang pag-ibig na dakila'y aayaw nang matagalan,
Parang lintik kung gumuhit sa pisngi ng kadiliman.
Ang halik na ubos-tindi, minsan lamang na halikan,
At ang ilog kung bumaha, tandaan mo't minsan lamang!

Ang pag-ibig kapag duwag ay payapa't walang agos,
Walang talon, walang baha, walang luha, walang lunos.
Ang pag-ibig na matapang ay puso ang inaanod,
Pati dangal, yama't dunong nalulunod ng pag-irog!

Ang pag-ibig na buko pa'y nakikinig pa sa aral,
Tandang di pa umiibig, nakikita pa ang ilaw,
Nguni't kapag nag-alab na, pati mundo'y nalimutan
Iyan, ganyan ang pag-ibig, damdamin mo't puso lamang!

Kapag ika'y umurong sa sakuna't sa panganib
Ay talagang maliwanag at buo ang iyong isip;
Takot pa ang pag-ibig mo, hindi ka pa umiibig;
Pag umibig, pati hukay ay aariin mong langit!

Ang pag-ibig ay may mata, ang pag-ibig ay di bulag;
Ang matunong na umibig, bawa't sugat ay bulaklak
Ang pag-ibig ay masakim at aayaw ng kakabyak;
O wala na kahit ano, o ibigay mo ang lahat!

"Ako'y hindi nakasulat at ang Nanay nakabantay!"
Aasahan mo katoto ko, hindi ka pa minamahal!
Nguni't kapag kapag sumulat na sa ibabaw man ng hukas;
Minamahal na na niyang higit sa kanyang buhay!

Kayong mga kabataang pag-ibig ang ninanais,
Kayong mga paruparong sa ilawan lumiligid,
Kapag kayo'y umibig na, hahanapin ang panganib,
At ang mga pakpak ninyo's masusunog sa pag-ibig.

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Ah what the hell. Now I'm gonna be reading Little Women and reading about Jo and Laurie. Aww. :x They're so...AWW. Period. Haha!

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HOY. GO TO THE AA FAIR! :)) PLEASE???

PS. I posted some stuff in my Multiply Journal that are not here. Do check it out. CLICK.

What I Really Want

2007-11-06T08:08:00.000+08:00

FOR SHANDRE. Haha! LOL. =)) Update!

I haven't posted in SUCH a long time that I actually FORGOT how to log in. I typed biancaruiz as the username and my password was, well, same as everything except for multiply. But it didn't match! Uh, panic? AND I REALIZED, I was supposed to type my email adress. Stupid. What the hell.

A lot of things happened since October 14. But it doesn't feel like a lot, it's a bit filled with activities, really. There's the WBL opening, my FIRST official game. Oh my goooood. Whew. Watch us next time, Please? And then, two days after that was our QTs. Those days seem like a very distant memory. I can't even remember the test items, not really. Oh no, how will I defend my answers? And, knowing myself like the back trail of path towards the HS building (only in this aspect, I'm confused most of the time), I know I will be defending. I want my scores high when I deserve it, sue me. And then there's the intrams. I sort of posted what happened when I posted the pictures, but not in a very detailed manner. The pictures are worth more than a thousand words. And so sembreak begins. I slept at my grandma's house. I was supposed to be jogging for 30 minutes everyday, but I uh, well, uh, can't. If there's a will, there's a way? I tried, really. There's this open space that served for parking space as my grandfather's rarely used cars during his days, and maybe his sons? I wouldn't know, I wasn't even created yet. And it was my grandmother's orchid garden right next to that, but that's besides the point. The thing is, ever since everyone moved to the States, no one tended the house. Sure, one of my uncles lives there, but really, the reason he's there is he's got nothing better in his hands. Why will an unmarried (really, now?) man tend to gardens? Currently, the grass at the center of the driveway's way too overgrown, there are strings strewn all over the place. I suspect they served as clothesline? And the ground's unleveled. I tried jogging around it a couple of rounds, but I really couldn't do it properly. I resolved to jogging around a wooden post. Surprise, surprise, I got dizzy. I got tired of it. And I never did it again. When I went home last November 1, I was planning to jog with my Dad. But then he didn't jog. He jogs at the memorial park 5 minutes away from us--he says it's quiet, search me. But then since it's Nov. 1, he couldn't very well do that. I woke him up today because I was itching to jog, and we went! Yay. I listened to Click 5 (GREETING FROM IMRIE HOUSE STILL IS MY CHOICE! HMM.) after my 30 minutes. He did it for an hour. LOL.

Sembreak's ending SOON, in two days. Oh no. It was full of shit, well. School work. IP and THE. IP AND THE! And Events, even. My, my. BUT, last Saturday was fun though. It was the PauPaoAlec thing and it was loads of frigging fun. Even if LOTS got colds the day after. (I'm still nursing mine.) I never thought I'd be getting wet--because my Dad forbid me. LOL. But it's okay. T'was worth it. Jumping in fully clothed. Pictures tell all.

AND YESTERDAY WAS A MULTI-TASKING STRING OF MINUTES. We did our IP. Went to Qualibet. I still can't believe it's at Project 7. AMP. And I went back to Galle to canvass, but I didn't finish it. Oops. I'll do it tomorrow when I buy clothes for my OJT. And yes, Miss Brigino actually said YES when I traded with Ashlly. Mainly maybe because Ms. Nen talked to her, not me? I dunno. I'll never find out. And Bo and Cheese said they'll meet me after class, continue emo talks. Then Alec texted, and he said he'll go to Galle! YEAH, BIRTHDAY BOY. I ended up eating with 6 of 'em. I WAS HUNGRY. The only thing I ate before that was a teaser cup of Ice Monster, and that's because I was ashamed to sit at Ice Monster without buying anything. HOWEVER, because time was unfair, I had to go and NOT finish my food. I didn't get to eat my fries (noooooo!) and my ice cream melted a bit, I think. I left it with them. And I went to fetch Migo. We were 30 minutes late.

On Thursday, school's back in business. On Saturday, it's my OJT! Don Henrico's @ Brick Road, Sta. Lucia. BE THERE. LMAO. And on Sunday, it's our game against STC @ Xavier Sports Complex. BE THERE MORE.

.Know what? I have an oath. I'll never be at a mall ever again ALONE when I can pull someone with me. During the hour that I was alone, I thought a lot. I was near tears. WAA. Pathetic. I could've pulled Meryl, but nooo. I had to be almighty and do it alone. Wrong. Man. Waiting is hard. And not just waiting for people to come, or the shallow waiting. But waiting for things to happen too, without knowing what you want. Well. I do. I told Cassy last night, "You know what you want. You just don't want to want what you want." I said it without hesitation. Then BAM! I realized that was my problem to. I know what I want, but I don't want to want it because all it will lead to is another one way highway and another Haha-You-Wish-And-Dream-On because what I want won't want me wanting what I want, doesn't want me, doesn't want anyone to want, I believe. Well? LOL. I want to be done with IP too. That's another thing that I want. Enough wanting. I want too much.

PS, no ICONS of my own. My PS3 turned out to be a Trojan Horse, so I deleted it. :"> I'm using Trish's.

PPS, The pictures I'm telling you about are all HERE But all of it are for my contacts. Except for the WBL opening which was left "For Everyone" for Richela. But I'll make it for contacts again soon. So ADD ME UP.

Who's My Last?

2007-10-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

They say you'll have to live your today as if it was your last, but when do you actually know when your last will be? And trust me, for some people (ehem), not knowing when your last will be will drive theam to not live the days as if they're the last. Not until the day comes when you think will be the last will you really, truly think about things. And for me, that came today. A glorious Sunday, October...what date is it today? October, uh, 20 is Saturday, 20 minus 6...14! Yeah. It's October 14. Oh yeah, today was when PBA opened, so it most definitely is October 14. Anyway, moving on, around 6:35 PM, my Dad, Migo and I were walking to the church for the 6:30 mass. And as we were about to cross the road, I looked at the right. No car. And when I looked to my left, BAM! A TRUCK. ONE FOOT AWAY FROM ME. I could've died. It was so huge, it loomed over me, and my stomach was clenched like a big stress ball. And I thought of the things I have done and I have not done for my Mom, and the disappointments I caused my Dad, and the article Athena posted about Moms and Daughters. I thought I would die, but I kind of knew I wouldn't. For one, I wasn't one foot in front of it, I was one foot from its side. But still, it was close. And I was scared. As I walked through the doors of the church, I still thought of it. I thought of what would happen if I die? Who would go to my funeral? Who would regret it? Would it be a sad moment for just a few months? Weeks? Days? Then you'll all go back to your normal lives? A friend is just one of the friends, not the friend. I don't know who will, aside from my parents (the pain I might cause them if I die would give me pain that's more than theirs), feel the pain most. Who will?

And soon, I thought of my Dad. I thought of how bad I hurt him every time I fight with my siblings. And for the record, I always forget that every time doesn't have a space. And I finally, finally realized that grades are not what my Dad wants of me. He wants love for my sibs. I talked to the temporary driver last Saturday, and he has been working for my Dad ever since the beginning. More than a decade, more than two? And he told me of a side that Daddy has that I never knew existed. I knew he was kind, but I didn't know he was THAT kind. I officially labeled him my idol. But why, why didn't I get that kind heart? A day of reflection, that's what today is. Every time I see him sad, or even when he's smiling but his eyes are sad, I feel crushed. I somehow know that the only cause for that would be family. That would be us. Or his father. Or us in relation to his mother. Why do I think I know? Because everyone loves him, everyone he knows sees him as some sort of a hero, especially his workers, and especially the people he help everyday. So who else could cause him pain other than us? I for one am the only person I know who lied to him and he still loved. He doesn't like being fooled, according to the guy I talked to last Satruday. He wouldn't talk to them anymore unless they ask for forgiveness. And how many times have I tried to fool my Dad? Right. I never knew the gravity of my actions until now, until that moment the big white truck was one foot away from my face.

I don't want to hurt him anymore. And I don't want to think ill of my Mom. They're both human, and they're also both heroes. My heroes, yeah. I'm getting so mushy. They can NEVER ever see this. :) And lastly, the priest said: GRATITUDE IS LEARNED. Yeah, I should learn it. I must have gratitude built in inside me SOON.

Oh my God. Just as a note, Magnolia won. Ha. They're like an Ateneo Dream Team. I'm not sure if that's healthy. :-/ Air21 rocks too! Ahi. I'm so gonna watch the next games. I ttly forgot yesterday. All I did was search for old films (i.e. Audrey Hepburn flicks, Love Story, Grease, etc.)

Book Whores and a Zealous Long Weekend

2007-10-08T20:22:00.000+08:00

You know what? I am such a book frigging whore. BUT, I'm a whore for the wrong books. I haven't been reading Noli, and the test is on Wednesday! I haven't read Act V of Macbeth too, and the test is on Thursday. However, I am training on Wednesday instead of studying for Macbeth--I NEED TO TRAIN because I'm gaining so much unwanted starch deposits. But still, I'm still a book whore, I bought quite a number of books today. About 9 or 10 books, but in total the family bought about 20 books, and the total cost is P2,533. NOT KIDDING! P2,533 How's that possible? Power Books outlet store sale at Pasig! Go, now. It'll end at on October 14, 2007. You know where the Power Books warehouse is? I'll tell you. It's somewhere near Kapitolyo, beside Pioneer, at Brixton street. I loved it. I loved it so much I want to go back! So anyway, here's a photo of the books we got minus my Mom's and the free book. Yes, the free book. Everything is 20% off, and all the other marked items are either 50, 70 or 90% off.

And after that, I went to Shang to buy new shoes. I got this adorable pair of blue flats--glittered. I'm getting perkier and perkier by the minute. I'm starting to adore stars, just like my star-loving classmate Jana Casillan. I saw this ultimately beautiful top at Bayo (and I don't even like Bayo! I stopped liking it when I was in Grade School because their tops were so for-old-mothers), but then Trish wanted it. So I let her get it--which she didn't. Mom thought the color would be something that will make my Dad not smile--black. I loved it, black with little gold sparkling stars all over it. It's pretty loose too, great for a chocoholic who have not trained in more than a week, almost 2 weeks. I'll get that the next time I go out. I swear? Yeah. And for the record, the new Bayo clothes are extra fine. I was supposed to leave at 3:30, but my love of a mother and loves of sisters were overly zealous over the appliances-slash-bedroom models we passed by. We're moving. Yeah! But only 3 minutes away from here, still far, but still! I'll get to have my own ~~room~~ area with firewalls to ward off intruders. Ikzitid, much! And so we left at 4:30, and never got the chance to go to Cubao to get chocolates from Castillo. But I don't care! We went to Shopwise instead to get groceries. I have a new favorite snack: Holland Waffles (Caramel Flavor) Enjoy the difference! Mfd. by: The Dutch Windmil Bakery Inc. And it's cheap, just P21 for the big ones. Yum, yum, yum! I don't even think it's fattening. But even if it is, I don't care

And I should be working out now, since that's my assignment from Ms. Nen. However, I'm being too occupied by my other...commitments to work out. I'll do 100 push-ups tonight since I'm immune to them, and I can do as much as I want (fk you big arms :), but I can't do weights, really. Not now! My Dad's equipment is so...idle. Haven't been touched in months and I don't know where the little lollipop like that would control the weight of the metal you'll be carrying, and 10 pounds is not worth my time. : So better not do it anymore. And I've been out the whole long weekend. What have I been up to? Well, you'll see.

Friday was: Mass, Recess, Inspection and Rosary. I super-dee-dooper (Haha, Barney is a ~~dinasour~~ dinosaur from our imagination, and when...) hate inspections because without the consent of EVERYONE (which they did not have), it's against the frigging constitution. PS, you can actually sue AA for conducting an inspection without 100% approval. But who will do that? What a shameful student body. Me included. I don't want to go through all that hassle, ever again. So, do what you have to do and provide waivers! And after that boo-hoo moment, we went to TCEV to have try-outs for Waterpolo. But, I can't play. HAHA. Reason: sprain. I don't want to talk about it, because it's depressing! And about my foot, here's an update: It's HEALED. But I can't point it. I'm scared that it might be permanent. I think some muscle is stuck between the ligaments, or something. I need to have it checked if it doens't heal, since I'm going to MedCity on Saturday. The try-outs became a swimming hang-out. The ones who went were old Waterpolo members and they don't need to try out. WTH. :)) Not really, because they know how to do it already.

Saturday: Painting and band screening. Pictures will tell all. A few captions here and there.

Me, my sprained foot, my biggest painting yet and my tools

With Isachu

With Pamela!

I love the shirt. REALLY. I'm not weird, I tell you!

Watch their eyes. 2 cameras. Had me laughing. :))

HAHAHA. ALEC!

With Andrew!

New friends! This one's ~~Kelvin.~~ Elgin.

~~Trixie~~ Tricki! The overly awwzum vocalist! And Isa. And me. Did I get that right?

Ahi. :)) Lovers' whispers

Space Cadets! My vote's on you.
Plus their groupies and roadies. KIDDING!

With Alex Cada!

MORE PICTURES HERE! I can't put them all in my blog because. (:

Sunday: We went to mass REALLY early. 7:30 AM? I'm used to 10AM masses or 5:30PM ones. And because of that, I fell asleep as soon as I got home at around 8:30--and did not read the text messages from Faye and Cassy! Apparently, we're pushing through with watching the Finals Game 2! HAHA. When I did wake up, I had to rush making plans! But it was fun. The driver brought me, Trish and Mom to the Santloan LRT after the Pacquiao match, and he went to Gateway. I thought riding the LRT would bring us to Gateway faster--WRONG. He was already there and we haven't even ridden the train yet! TSS. Bad move. But I made it in time! The four of us watched the game, and we were sitting at Gen Ad! I must thank Ryan for the tix, he got it for us when I couldn't go get 'em myself. I still owe you. I'll pay you next time! Swear. ;) I looked fairly stupid, I tell you. I sat at the LS side because Faye and Cassy were for LS, but...I'm NOT! I couldn't bring myself to cheer for LS! Everytime UE (Ateneo!!!) scores or does something applaudable, I cheer! The only one cheering in a sea of green. And when I did attempt to cheer for LS, aba, binatukan ako ni Tricia. HAHA. Oh, right. I'm not for La Salle. BUT LA SALLE WON. I think I'm LS's lucky charm, not a good thing. Every single time I watch their game, they win! Juniors AND Seniors! WHAT THE. : Whatever, and so we went home. I didn't have pictures because the stupid security confiscated my frigging camera. ;) Stupid me, I never knew I wasn't allowed. Ha. =)) Gen Ad! >:)

And you know what happened to me today.

PS. Leo's getting an awesome birthday news gift. :))

Morning Katangahan

2007-09-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

Every once in a while, a girl gets carried to the clinic in a stretcher. Every once in a while, I'll wonder how it feels to be that girl. Every once in a while, I wouldwish I was that girl. Every once in a while, I would wonder what one must do to experience fainting and eventually be shipped away in a stretcher.

Well, you know what they say: Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.

Who exactly are they? Who exactly are being referred to when they (haha) say that THEY said this, they said that. Cliche's are always quoted after "They". Shall we name our kid They? I actually do have a busmate named Dey, but that's besides the point. If THEY say this, it doesn't mean that DEY said it, it means THEY said it, THEY are the majority, or probably the unlabeled geniuses of past and present? Then maybe, if the MAJORITY say it, then the majority are unlabeled geniuses? Then almost ALL of us are geniuses then? Not quite. The geniuses are the ORIGINAL, uh, sayer (!) of the quote. Well, THEY who said "Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true." are the REAL geniuses.

I wished for a stretcher, I got it. I'd have loved to prove the theory correct, if only the proof didn't hurt that much. I mean, THEY could have proved that THEY were right if they gave me the boy of my dreams (who I don't know the characteristics, mind you, for I don't have a type...anymore), or give me my own Nikon D80, or made me finish my new painting already, or, or, or anything but getting in a stretcher because of a sprained ankle!!!

Yes, I sprained my ankle, and as Trisha Lopez, my wonderful ballpen goddess of a seatmate, called it, it was mainly due to morning katangahan. No, not MAINLY, it was ALL because of morning katangahan. Let me tell you how it began, from the moment I set my (uninjured) foot inside the bus...

Tep was not there. I thought she was absent, and I believed so until later. Apparently I was wrong, but I didn't know that yet. Every morning, when we get to school, we stay by the red bench at the Grade 4 cluster. We wait for Nela and Alyssa, well, Nela mainly. Hahaha! I'm kidding, `La, you late bird. So anyway, I was sitting there like I do everyday. I was waiting for them like I do everyday. And I fell asleep...like I do everyday. But unlike everyday, Alyssa was not the one to eventually wake me up when Nela arrives. In fact, Alyssa, Nela and Tep weren't there! My lovely section 2 friends were at the morning mass! I can imagine how I looked like: a big girl sitting on the bench, with her head rested on the bench as well and her legs crossed. What a sight, eh? The next thing I knew a girl with long hair was waking me up, "Sweetheart, wake up, you're late for class." First thought: "Ha? Si Alyssa, sweetheart tawag sa`kin? Tae mo. Haha!", but then I saw the pretty long and straight and really fixed and brown hair, and I saw her made up face. Uh-oh. A teacher! It was Ms. Sharon waking me up. I saw the Gr. 4 girls lining up already for their morning talk, woah? I stood up abrubtly and walked to my bag. Unfortunately, in my haste, I didn't feel that my left leg was numb. Well, hell, how am I to feel it if it's numb? But the point is, I didn't KNOW it was numb. I took a step with my right leg, and as normal circumstances call, I followed it with my left. The stupid left foot didn't feel the floor when it landed and it just continued down...down. It didn't fall flatly, mind you, it was bent inwards. And, my leg being numb, I had no idea my left knee buckled already and so I fell on my fucked up ass. And my ass fell on my bent ankle! And all of a sudden, the numbness was (almost) gone and I felt the pain. Geez, wonderful timing to bring back the nerves much? I stood up, and well, I stayed standing up. It hurt so badly and it was partially numb still. The manongs were all around me and asked me what was up, it was humiliating. And I was alone. More humiliating.

And well, ako naman `tong martyr, nilakad ko pa hanggang HS building. Morning katangahan nga. I even carried my stupid stroller bag up the 2 flights of stairs, and I sat on the floor with a swollen ankle. I felt brave...I tried sitting indian style, and well, bravery wasn't much needed then. The pain was infuriating, I almost (ALMOST!) let out a yelp during the morning talk.

Martyr pa din, I had Chem, until I couldn't take it anymore...so Ms. Marah had a stretcher fetch me from the HS building. When I got to the clinic, they placed a hot compress on my foot, and I had nothing to do. I wanted to READ, but I couldn't because I wasn't smart enough to sneak a book inside my sweater. I fell asleep. And so, sleeping is NOW my friend for it saved me from boredom, when it was my enemy just an hour before. Next, they placed an ice bag on it. The chill was LITERALLY biting my skin that it woke me up. But I fell asleep again. Heh. They woke me up at around 12:30 to tell me that my Mom was on her way. She was picking me up and I wasn't going to return to the classroom. Huh? For a sprain? Apparently. (;

I read a book when I got home, and I slept, and I watched the Ateneo-La Salle game on TV. ONE BIG ~~FRIED~~ FIGHT EAGLES! Heh. One more win on Sunday! And now, I must go to bed. Shall I go to school tomorrow? The nurse said I must NOT. But I wanted to! I want to take the stupid Geom test already! I've missed Algeb and I don't want another test to miss. I will also miss debate? But why am I not preparign for it? Maybe, just maybe, I'm looking forward to not going to school? Oh, my. I must prepare now. IP progress report.

The plus side in all of these? I got to feel how it feels to be in a stretcher, albeit it was utterly humiliating (the kids were oogling at me, I had to put the blanket on my face).

And lastly, despite my use-umbrellas-as-crutches-because-I-didn't-accept-the-crutches-from-the-clinic phase, I'm managing because I have APPLE STRUDELS! Yum! I've eaten my fifth apple strudel 5 minutes ago, not healthy for my weight. (;

We Go By The Name Shakespeare. (Oh, crap.)

2007-09-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

A dialogue, a poem, a work of literature, a work of expression, yet again not for impression. ;) Persmission was not gotten, here I shall ask. WOY. Forest! Ayos lang? Yep. May 2 akong bagong poems about...schoolwork (bloody, really) and something else I can't remember. Icon-less and busy. I shall go? I shall find and icon by Trish first. Or not? I am bold and he is in italics.

Forest. I fought with my sister

I was once a kid and a kid so bawd

And she was my sister, but only by blood

Fondess then dwelled and needs soon was met

A bond seemed unbreakable tightened our net

More than sisters we then are

For friends we're now marred

But then came yesterday

*waiting for kickass ending, hass to be compelling*

And it all flushed away

She FUCKING GOT MY FUCKING BRACELET AND FUCKING LOST IT! Okay. That's not part of it.

She took what was mine and kept it to be

Returned to the owner, the owner was me.

Yet fate was unfair, nor did it care

That what was unbreakable seemed beyond repair

Attitudes and wrath compelled me to see

Not the reason but what I thought would be

The truth of it all, yet still I am wrong

I am wrong but right is not what I'd wrong

I feel incomplete yet completeness won't come

For she's down to a sister, and only by blood.

Pucha. Haha. I am done. Impromptu poem. I shall not edit.

That is that

We fight.

In the matters of Christianity I am not cevout

*devout

I never gave a damn on what The Beatitudes were about

And now you're not to study?

Let fail what what's there to see?

Offer not but what is there

And add not to what's your share?

The Church I believe is a juct a joke

But I admire one "sacred" bloke

His name his Jesus, here's what he said

He said what he wanted, he said what was sacred?

"Forgiveness, not punishment is what you get when you are dead"

When shall doth die, and when must be bread

Buried in hell, or is the concept now mad

For hell'll cease to exist if forgiveness will clad

Hell isn't so bad

says this angelic lad

But what of forgiveness?

the hell to it

*with

Then rhyme is now beat and rhyme must not sit

With our words jumbled to become a big fit?

I'd like to leave this world of shit and fuck

but the constant pleas and begs of others got me quite stuck

"we need you" they say

well you cann all kiss my ass

I wanted a word that sounded like May

your lies just get more pathetic everyday

and sorrow plus tears come as days pass

For May is the month of wonderful play

A pass of what sort? One shall need to ask?

I devoured soup that tasted so sour

A Filipino dish every family share at supper

My digital link to the fast paced world

Hey

I want to be in an accident

Detached and soon attached once more and so ...gourld?

An accident as such shall not be decent

get hit by a car

fall

fall down the underworld, down till they see

that you will be missed, the bringer of glee?

no, just on the concrete vloor

*floor

And walk out the door?

Turn thy back on everyone and leave till the end?

no, just a hospital bed and a clicking machine

Why desire to be risked if to be saved is what's next?

Shall you be one of those in pretentious context?

pity

and regret

is what I wish to induce

a fate that would make some people regret what they choose

the fling or the one that would love you forever

Such fate, you should refuse. Forever is lost for now and for never

forever with her, gone

Forever it is, for gone is the one.

The one is alone and the one shall not change

the one who to me is as bright as the sun

was, at least

The sun is alone and the one must be too, they might be one and the sun must be blue?

the sun SHOULD be blue and I shouldn't care

The moon will turn yellow and we shall be bare

but I love her from her toes to her hair

A whole being that I must love has not yet appeared.

that being that you seek should not be waited on but feared

Why so?

when he gets bored with you another heart he shal seek

he will leave you, sad, defenseless and weak

with bleeding eyes and exploding ears

and no one to tell your deepest fears

give up on love that's what I say

love can suck my dick and stay away, stay away

I shall want to learn from others' mistakes

But then my heart must be at stake

It will never be hurt

Nor will it be recepient of curt

It will remain pure and never blemished

But what of an innocent heart if love was not once dished?

but do not listen to this bitter, young boy

A boy who felt it and now is what coy?

he is sad, lonely and losing his joy

he is bitter and bare of the sweet lines he had

Finish the line you began in this sad

of together forver and forever will I be your lad

Shall I have a lad of my own to conquer me all?

the green side of me from my groin starts to crawl

and he shall say that females are only good for sex

The blue side shall win the ball-centered brawl

they should be there when the manhood becks

fuck is what we should do he says

Manliness is ironic and not as I deemed it may

It meant being weak

that;s not what I think I must confess

CHIVALRY IS ALIVE AND WELL

Being a man is chivalrous and not at all toguh

*tough

if it is not then I am here to ring the bell

Begin with a line that tough sounds like well

the bell that will sound the start of a revolution

of gentle manliness and courtesy evolution

I shall want one that's with courtesy

But to fall for one will invade my ecstasy

For my liking tends to bend

ecstatsy the green one ponders

Towards the ungrateful and improper end

as he imagines what he feels under the bed covers

You shall not think of the evil color

For blue must reign with victor

In the morrow, it must be decided

BLUE EAGLE!

The decision must be for the one with whom I sided

Blue Eagles Spelling!

B-L-U-E-EAGLE! BLUE! EAGLE! BLUE! EAGLE!

The tremendous cheer would suit it well.

For blue-blooded crowds will end it swell

Win with the ball in a fair dwell

Emotions have poured in a rhyming string

Of words so wonderfully combined with fling

I give up

I shall too. For all our words are mixed and...shut up.

Shit's up.

Done and not done but done yet the same.

I give up on this petty thing calle dlife

* called life

its confusing and full of strife

It is so for we deem it so

If it's seen differently the change will blow

The mind of the one who said it was such

That is all I can say, I say that much

from you my death is a life wasted

but I am just a cutout, on the wall once pasted

Pasted with people, and people of worth

Your worth is more that what I can think's worth

I repeat and not think

people who knew I was going to die since the second of my birth

For to think need the brink.

But too soon must it not occur

I'll be going to a party and a rope is my chauffeur

The rope you must hold, the rope you must control

The chauffeur is you and none but you all

I tell the chauffeur where I want to go

around my neck and tied tightly

The rope can not drive

drive me to suffocation he can

But to kill it can strive.

And when news of your death approach myself

I shall take the rope and untangle the commiter of theft

The theft of your life shall then return

The life it doth stole and you shall not burn

too late you shall be

Too late I must not be

And with homework I shall not delay

Or I'll spend the rest of my days at array

bianca: I shall leave and publish a poem

okay

I made under the pressure of a heart so solemn

I wrote in English Class

2007-09-24T20:59:00.000+08:00

I wrote in English class, and I, not once, did recite, not did I take down note. I was in a panic mode, I needed to write. I wrote about English class, I listened not to English class. It's a free verse. No meter, just rhyme. A work that's pressed by time. Tis a work to express and not impress. Forgive the weakling, for sense was excluded from my existence

During Her English Class

The beads of cold, inclement, ice
Crashed against plastic, resounding stale rice
Against the thin flat surface
Of the roof it does graze
Tiptapping so quickly
Landing, yet with immediacay splattering clamorously
She wanted it in words, she wanted it written
She looked around and desired what was smitten
By sweetness yet overflowing bitterness
And irony yet none seemed best
She sighted a notebook
With colors worthy of a look
No, a look exceeding the second look
The swirling and patterns
Made her brain rush to a panicked tavern
She wrote until her pen was merely
An istrument that's got ink to dispose merrily
She shook her head to push away
The sounds of voices and sights of May
Her stomach clenched as her mind soon went
Blankly to a place she kept unconscious,
A part she kept then
A state where all her truths
Are buried in a forgotten pile of soot
The true conqueror of herself
The persons whose hands achieved the theft
The persons whose beings imprisoned her heart
The persons no one must know
The persons none will be privileged to know as art
Hid behind the barrier of a pretty red bow
And then she listened to the clam
After a furious rickety realm
Was subjected to a stubborn chill
Brought by the rain ending the still
The air bit her skin foreshadowing
That the omen that thunder and lightning
Is afoot and are set to invade
The place of sanctuary and so she bade
The secluded peace enclosing her secret treasures
A sweet goodbye, and barred the cry
Of denial trapped in her larynx
Escaping the riddle thrown by a virtual sphynx
She was beautiful as a rose,
Attempting not to be the serpent that shall arose
For nothing that is is not
And to be is as unwanted as to be got

PS, I'm not sure if I've already used that icon.

Lots to do (ALL DUE TOMORROW!):
[ ] Filipino Script
[x] Envi. Ed. Reflection
[ ] Chemistry Unit Test 1
[ ] History Quiz
[ ] Geometry LP3
[ ] Memorize Pilates steps, make visual aids
[ ] Docu Progress Report --bukas na!--
[ ] Docu Budget Proposal --AFTER studying Chem na!--
[ ] Read Noli 30-36
[x] 2x2 pic for Basketball
[x] Birth Certificat for Basketball
[ ] Report Card for Basketball

Me? Tall?

2007-09-19T20:48:00.000+08:00

When you lived your life as a girl of height, you're not used to seeing people taller than you. When you go to malls and see people about your height, or even taller, you tend to stare and be awed. When you see people taller than you, you feel small. And, mind you, feeling small is a very rare feeling when you're a girl of 5'7.5". If you are, let's presume, a boy, that height is pretty average. For a girl though...HAHA. Tore ka na. Given that, you could already guess pretty much how I felt when I was surrounded by tall girls. And not just tall girls--I'm a tall girl, they're not tall. They're really tall. When? About 4 hours ago. Yes, about four hours ago. We played a game, a tune-up game with Faith!

I have never seen so many White people all clumped together here in the Philippines. Well, I've never been to an IS school, period. So imagine my, uh, jitters when I saw all these vertically long girls running around their gym. My, my? And I thought I was tall. Yes, that exactly. It's pretty much like being in an American movie, seeing all these whites together. I'm still NOT used to it! They're tall and they're fast and they're good. Wonderful. The score was around 54-38, 16-point difference? Well, hell. But! Ms. Nen said that we did pretty well defending, all we REALLY, REALLY have to do is RUN! RUN! RUN! I need to learn how to run. I wish the AA Sports Complex will be done soon, I want a wooden court. I want a REAL gym. The multi is so...multi-purpose! A real sports complex might be nice. Back to the game, I played 5. I didn't score :-( This is REALLY the first time I've experienced having arms all over my face, that's usually me, the supposedly tall person, who does that. But since they were WAY tall and vertically long, they did THAT to me! Freaky. When I had the ball, and I was going to shoot it, all I could see were arms all over the place! Arms, arms, arms! Correction, LONG, WHITE, ARMS. God, I'm such a racist? But it's just so cool. It's like being in the States or something, but then that would've felt better. When I see white people with black and all the other races together, it's normal. The country's the melting pot of the whole frigging land mass...and seeing them there is pretty average. But here? In the Philippines? All clumped together? It's a huge...well. Haha.

I can't finish the post. I have to go. Bye. No ICON.

Rubber Bands Are The Worst Creations To Ever Be Created

2007-09-16T15:20:00.000+08:00

Oh my f***ing god, it hurts like hell (!!!). It's been months since I actually needed that telltale Ponstan that's been kept in that (only) zipped part of my lovely pink luggage school bag. And it's been ages since I missed a meal. (Proper diet, proper diet!) It's been ages since I slept in until 12 noon. It's been ages since my braces made me wish I didn't have them. (I usually don't think of them being there anymore, they're part of my mouth already.) It's been ages since something like today happened. I woke up at around past 4 in the morning because my stupid cell phone had the recurrent alarm turned on. Why did I not turn it off for weekends? I guessed that I'd be sleeping until late, late, late because it's the first time in months that I had a free day, or free Sunday. You know what, I actually believe that weekends are only Sundays, because I do take Saturday classes (painting!), and then I'll have to go to wherever my siblings take their Saturday classes (Ice Skating and OT, and in a few weeks, soccer). Yeah, Sundays are my only free hours. Anyway, I sent good luck with ACET messages then slept again...and on and on again...and on and on again...and dreamt of so much. I dreamt the there was some natural calamity that happened in AA, and that we were part of the good-guys group. The bad guys were at the Grade 6 & 7 building, and one of them was Chick. We went to the building to "rescue" the victims, and our protection was our deep red gowns. Chick, my cousin, couldn't touch us because we were wearing the red gowns that we used for her wedding, and uh, sentimental value? I also dreamt that after that little calamity, peace returned and the storms were gone, and we were having our HS assembly at the penthouse. I dreamt that one of my teammates (can't remember who) lost both hands, that's because of the microwave. She went downstairs to look for somthing to eat when the radioactive rays from the microwave did something to her hands. The next morning, she woke up with black hands (Dumbledore, eh?), and she went to school without hands. Eek? :-s Izkurry. Whatever, I also dreamed the there was a stage at the Peace Garden, and people were gathered there. Some lottery or raffle of sorts was taking place, and my old crush-slash-friend was the emcee. Yay, cool. There were other scenes, such as poor kids lining up at the AA gate, and somebody having the same stroller bag as I do--except the color is lavander, and I mistaked it for my own, etc., but I can't remember what went on, really.

Now, back to my (sad) reality. I woke up at 12 with an aching back and aching teeth. (Braces!!!) I wanted to take in Ponstan already, but Mom said I had to eat. I "ate" Swiss Miss, and I looked for my (dear) Ponstan, but the (screw-up) capsules just weren't there anymore! I only have one pocket inside my bag (I think it's for those personal things when you travel) and all I saw were green and pink threads (they're Nela's, I used it to make bracelets, but I haven't returned them yet), a folded piece of a 1/4 sheet (with drawings/sketches of my soon-to-be prom dress), a nail cutter (in the shape of a pig), and some random ballpen that doesn't have ink anymore. Now where is that Ponstan when I needed it? Lost, probably frolicking in the midst of books and notebooks. I simply did not have the heart to actually take out (all) my books and look for that fateful little pill. I'm hurting. And I can stand it (Ha, sinong niloko ko? Takte, ang sakit.)

Yesterday, I didn't paint because we were pressed for time. I had to have my third ound of injections for cervical cancer immunity. (O Impe, hindi pala HIV. HAHA. Sorry, cervical cancer.) And my siblings needed to have their respective injections too. I also had my back checked for scoliosis (NEGATIVE!!!), but I'll have to continue using my stroller because if I use a backpack, I might develop it. You are the music in me...nananana (Sorry, narinig ko lang.) Moving on, I then went to Galle.

Am I allowed to say why I was at Galle? Well, compromise. I was supposedly going to trick GIRL into going to Galle, where BOY is waiting to surprise her, to make up for things he did or did not do. (Is this right?) But, GIRL didn't really want to go, I told GIRL I was there already. So GIRL pulled SISTER with her, and they went to GALLE where BOY was waiting. SISTER asked me where I was, because SISTER didn't want to be a third wheel. Whoops, but I was at Med City! My, my. What a mess. I told BOY that SISTER was with them, so BOY told me I simply had to go to Galle too. It's a beautiful thing that my own sister, Arianne, happened to want to go to Bestsellers! Ha! So I went to Galle. I met with GIRL and SISTER, and I pulled SISTER with me and I bought Pilates bands. BOY and GIRL ~~frolicked in the green, green grass, under the rays of the sparkling sunshine~~ walked around the mall and ate at KFC. SISTER and I stayed at Ice Monster, catching up with each other. SISTER handed over a green paperbag (Haha, okay, giveaway na to for their identities) and a piece of folded yellow paper with white sheets inside. (THANK YOU!!!) And my Mom said we had to go home (or to the dentist rather), and so I brought SISTER to GIRL, and said my darlings good-bye.

Then I went to the dentist, slept at the clinic, and had the time of my life. New wires, new rubbers, perfect braces after weeks of mistreated braces (I kept on eating hard food!) And then my (sad) reality happened, teeth hurt, stomach churning, back aching. Time of my life, my ass!!!. Rubber bands are the worst things that could ever graze the fields of my mouth! What's the best? (Eww.)

I'd read Macbeth already. I simply have to. Whatever happened to the ACET-takers? How are you faring? Well I...I wanna have mine! I. Want. College. NOW. (:

Jumblery

2007-09-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of several things, I've been writing, I've been doing homework, I've been tired. I can't really post something worth reading mainly because my thoughts are all jumbled and I can't remember what I was thinking the past days. I'm probably wasted, well, fine, and hyper. I've been eating too much chocolates, I've been playing basketball (which I have to seriously learn how to!), I've been eating nothing but things with cheese or potato in it (Ehem, ham&egg sandwich and lasagna), I've been a wee bit boring. Who am I kidding? I am boring. One positive thing is, I'm having a really, really good relationship with my parents. Give and take, compromise, loving them is so nice. I don't sneak out, I'm not planning to. I was actually tempted, but I resisted! Congratulate me.

I have a new best friend aside from Alyssa, Tep and Pam. You know who? Molten GG6. No idea who? Me neither, or at least I used to not. Now, it's in my hands. It's something I have to grope and be familiar with. Okay, it's the womens' basketball...ball. It's wonderful, and I have to get to know her (her yan!) by heart, memorize every line, every curve...yikes, emo. That's it.

I've been writing a story. As of now, I'm not even done with the girl's character map. She's into a lot of things that I am, just so I can write better. Probably instead of blogging, I'll put my thoughts in her perspective and finish that story. You think? Well, hell. I'll blog about my life, and I'll put my random thoughts and insights in the story. Love Ain't My Mathematics is the title, no plot yet. Any ideas? Anyway, I have to go and bond with AA's Molten GG6. Sorry the blog's short and unsubstancial.

Where's the Fox?

2007-09-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

The BEST patintero team ever--BLACK TEAM! >:)

The Losers. JOKE LANG. Haha! White team.

Let the games begin >:)

Okay, hindi ako makatawid sa point guard. HAHAHA! :))

Ito na, talo na kami. Ang dami nang prisoners sa agawan base. :((

This, loves, is the Assumption Forensics Society (minus Ayesa, Kyla, Tin and Karyza)

(L to R: Bee, Idonna, Angela, Krystella, Issa, Veronica, Khisby, Maxinne, Divine, Vivien, Cara, Sir, Rica, Regine)

This, is what happens when you wait at the guard. HAHA. (;

Maxinne, Vivien, Angela, ~~Rica~~Issa and Krystella at the assembly hall, waiting for the motions and groupings to be given.

This is us buying shirts. I'm looking at some~~thing~~one. HAHA. (Rica, alam mo to?)

This is me depressed while buying ~~fat~~ fast food.

All the pictures came from Cara and Mara J.

After watching the Music and Me concert, we went to the Multi to gather ourselves before going to DLSU. We left around 50 minutes behind schedule because the teachers did something, so there. We watched Fantastic Four with my fabulous uh, busmates for a day--Vivien, Angela, Maxinne, Issa, Rica and the oh, so, awesome SCAA Secretary/Treasurer (Ano ba? Hindi ko maalala! HAHA!), Regine. We saw the debaters of Round 2, and we sat in the adjudication. We went then to the Assembly Hall to listen to motions and pairings of teams. Among the participants were Xavier, ICA, BIS, UST, CSA, SSC, Southridge, Ateneo de Naga, Claret, Philippine Science and I can't remember anymore. Each pair of AFS members must go observe one debate of the third round. Everyone gave their rooms, everyone but Rica and I. We spent 30 *f*cking* minutes looking for the hawt adjudicator's room. HAHA. And he's so cute. After that, we chatted with the SSC girls of the room (SJ107), and this guy from Claret I sort of met earlier talked to them. Small world. Yay. Then we went to McDo to grab dinner as it was SO VERY late (7 PM, we were supposed to leave 5:30 PM). And off we were home.

Today, we played Patintero and Agawan Base (Filipino games for postponed Linggo ng Wika). HAHA. FUN. Then we played basketball from 2:30 PM - 7:00 PM. 5:30 - 7 was training, the rest of the time was just fun, fun, fun no-play stuff.

I'm WAY too tired to blog. Next post will be a shadow of Forest's blog posts about emo and life and love.

Carpe Diem (and an announcement for AFS members!)

2007-08-29T21:07:00.000+08:00

First of all, if you are an AFS member, or have a classmate/friend who is a member of AFS, I'd greatly appreciate it if you take note of this and tell the members!

ON SEPTEMBER 1, 2007, SATURDAY, WE WILL GO TO DLSU, TAFT TO WATCH A DEBATE TOURNAMENT (2:30 PM-5:30 PM). WE ARE NOT COMPETING. (Asa ka muna, men. Haha! Not yet NOW.) CIRCULARS WILL BE RELEASED TOMORROW, PAYMENTS FOR TRANSPORTATION (Php 190.00) WILL BE DUE ON FRIDAY, TOGETHER WITH THE REPLY SLIP. WE WILL WEAR OUR COMPLETE RED UNIFORM. (Not yet final, will ask Sir Pangilinan AND Idonna first, but this is ALMOST it :-P Reminders might change tomorrow, but you'll know.) MEETING PLACE/TIME: MULTI-PURPOSE BUILDING, 12 NOON. YOU WILL HAVE TO BE PICKED UP FROM AA BEFORE 7 PM. BRING YOUR DEBATE KITS, SNACKS AND DRINKS. THANK YOU.

If, by some (very) unfortunate twist of fate, you forgot who you are, you are: Idonna Lacson, Rica Zuniga, Cara Chongco, Angela Caranay, Ayesa Lemence, Kyla Olives, Bianca Reyes, Krystella Guevarra, Divine Magno, Tintin Mendoza, Veronica Mirano, Khisby Mortell, Rica Doroteo, Karyza Leyble, Vivien Sison, Maxine Sta. Maria and me.

Now, on to the MORE important things, me, myself and I. No, I'm kidding. Wait a minute, do you know that grains of the truth are seeping every single time the word "kidding" is uttered? So that means, I'll be talking about ME, as this is MY blog. But I'll also talk of some other people, as per usual. I can't force you to read about me and only me or else you'll die out of boredom, and I can't think of me and only me or else I'll die of boredom. I'm a very boring person, you know. My life revolves on just ONE motto: carpe diem!

Seizing the day means eating all you can? Not exactly. I've gone WAY past the 3 desserts per week quota that the doctor gave me and Tricia. I'd like to think that I only ate 2 desserts last Sunday, but my conscience knows I ate THREE. And today, I ate 2 Choco Muchos (Yummiest, ever! Thanks to Mandy), 1 (or 2) cotton candies, and 1 (or 2) cones of ice cream, not to mention a slice of the Assumption tart. I'd be without desserts for at least one and a half week! I'm including guava jelly (My. Mouth. Is. Watering.) in my daily diet. Remember I am only to eat 2 slices of bread per meal (as rice is OUT OF THE QUESTION)? Well, instead of putting cheese (!!!) (quickmelt+parmesan+cheddar--yum, YELLOW food of the day!) and ham (or bacon) with the occassional sandwich spread, I'm going to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly. The first time I've heard of that was while watching Barney, and even then, I thought they were putting gulaman. Moving on, so that's my meal-y meal. PB&&J. But for lunch, I'll eat ham and cheese. Correction, I've been eating, I just spread the last drop of Guava Jelly on my dinner sandwich.

Seize the day. I just have to say (again!) that 94s are the WORST grade ever! I got 94 for Chem, History AND Filipino! ONE MORE POINT TO GET A BIG A+ and I didn't make it! I wanna cryyyy. 93 is way better, as a lot of you might agree. My mind is REALLY stubborn. While taking the Health test, I KNEW that Repression was the very first number at the LP, thus making it the one where bad thoughts were pushed to the unconscious. But stubborn little brain placed Regression. My hand wanted to change my answer, but my mind just would NOT permit it. It's quite a nuisance, really, as it happened to me during that CLE test, too. I erased 3 True answers and changed it to X (False), thinking that there MUST be a pattern. Hel-lo? There can NOT be 15 Trues and 5 Falses. Can there? Apparently I was wrong, as all those erasures were marked with big, fat, red circles. 3 guesses why? Ha.

Today went pretty well. After a few periods of, well, freedom, we went on shift. Actually, we weren't exactly free as we were supposed to watch a video of Pilates--which I doubt I can do, but then, no one was really listening and by the time the video ended, there was still more that a full period left of PE. Everyone was sleeping, or talking. Having no teachers is not quite nice when we think about it, because we'll have to catch up and rush things the next weeks. And, ALGEBRA is not ONE I would like to rush. Seriously.

And so I took my shift. The first one was with Jana at the HS chits-changing table. (Haha, pinangalanan eh.), and we earned A LOT. It was break time, and it was fun. It's way cool to be there, sitting on that relatively short stool (compared to that TALL table), receiving money, being of use. The next one was with Faye at the GS chits-changing table. I arrived there a teedy bit early, as Kyla and Carissa were still there, so Faye and I scraped the remaining ice cream off the...err...container. She managed to fill one whole cone! COOL. Then we took our shift and had serious (Ha!) talks about love (another, bigger, HA!), life, and school. And songs. It was one hell of a shift. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the point of view), the ones next to us weren't on time and Ms. Grace asked us to move the table to the place near the Gr. 1 cluster. I think Kea and Anne never found the new location. Sorry! I went out for a while to arrange the AFS transportation for Saturday and the CIR with Idonna, and had to go back to Faye. We stayed there up to 4:00, okay, 4:15. It was SO much fun. We talked to Ms. Grace, and the manongs and manangs, and fooled with the kids! (;

One penny for the answer: WHY, oh WHY, are we there? Shifts were for the Student Council, Fair Com Heads...and the Basketball Team? ANG LABO. HAHA. Anyway, I just remembered the answer, I asked Ms. Grace a while ago, apparently, our moderator was REALLY uhm, maka-kapwa. HAHA. Thank GOD, it was hella fun.

We were late for training. :( But we got there just in time. Ha? Ang labo. No, here, technically, because of the time of our arrival, we were late, but, because they haven't started yet, we managed to begin with them. Get it? Whatever, if you don't, then well. Training was pretty short, just a wee bit over an hour, and pep talk happened after. I got cramps, by the way! I think my body's still adjusting after the 2 or so week break. I couldn't even do the under-the-basket drill for the first few minutes. : But then, I concentrated, and yay! Did it.

My brother picked me up from school after training. I rode at the front seat, while he stood behind the driver's seat. I have a feeling he's afraid of being alone at the back of tha van, and wants to be part of whatever crowd there was.

"Ate Bianca, d'you know, Kuya Ver and I saw this girl play volleyball," he began with a nasty grin. "And when she hit the ball, it went straight to the roof!" he laughed as he tried to take control of his breathing. "It went back to her!"

The driver laughed as he steered the wheel to the right. He scrunched up his nose, "You," he began, "were looking at her legs."

I raised an eyebrow towards my brother, conveying a single message: elaborate.

He grinned sheepishly and scratched his head. "She was wearing blue shorts, and she has braces. Why did the ball go back to her? That's funny." And with an admirable skill of swiftly changing the topic, he said, "Kuya Ver, who's your girl?"

"Angel Locsin, and..." the driver trailed as he struggled to find another name. "All of them! All of them are mine."

It was Migo's turn to raise one of his left brow, which he did simultaneously with frowning. "All of them?"

"All the celebrities!" he replied. He swerved to the left and brought Migo, who was still standing, back to his seat in a swift, fluid motion.

He stood up at once and remarked. "Every celebrity? Piolo Pascual is your crush? You have a wife, might I remind you. I'll tell Ate Joy." he annnounced triumphantly, as if winning a debate with his fiercest rival.

The driver was shaking with laughter when he noticed lights blinking against the dark blue blanket of the sky. "Migo, look, fireflies!"

Migo narrowed his eyes and looked at the peculiar collection of lights. "No." he said simply, "That's a helicopter."

I looked at the lights and observed the colors. "It's a plane."

"No, that's not a plane. It has no blue lights." Migo said with finality as he took his seat.

But no, it was a plane. (:

I have no idea why I placed that short conversation here, but I guess I just never want to forget it. (: Tomorrow, we'll be having our food sale again, so bring your chits. And the Basketball Team will be having shifts again! YAY. (:

Here's a food for thought from the Makata of the New Millenium, Forest. "Love is just like jumping, hoping that someone will catch you. If no one does, at least only your heart is broken." and another one, "She said she loved me, but if that's what you do to people you love, then I hate you."

Well, I'm surrounded by people obsessing over love: lovesick, lovers, loveless, crushed by love, and all the other teenage scenarios regarding love, so I'm going to write something that goes around Forest's notion of love tomorrow. As for NOW, I'm tired and I. Want. Bed. (Probably a book, first?)

Wait a minute, actually, I was supposed to write it YESTERDAY. But I got to the PC real late, and I, instead of blogging, I wrote a write-up for Pau. He's to edit all the stuff he gets (I think), but here's my version (which is WAY too long.) :-P

If one, by a particularly fortunate incident, stumbles upon a Search-In nametag bearing the name Paulo, varied pictures of this boy who have fingers dipped on different teacups would rush to one's cerebral cortex, and the brain will then issue the muscles of the face numerous commands as to what scrupulous emotion must be portrayed. Probably first in line would be the overpowering command to pull the corners of one's mouth upwards, slowly forming a big crescent much like the moon that this Paulo wants so much to gaze upon—a smile. Paulo, often called Pepabits or Pau by his barkada, began to be known as the silent and the mysterious due to his silent demeanor and the trademark stare. This assumption derived from the meticulous stare, however, cannot be any further from the truth as it is—Paulo is as boisterous as one can get when surrounded by people who will not deem him demented when he spends half of his time goofing off, while spending the other half wishing he was. An amused grin would creep to one's face as the ironies that comes as a combo with the name Paulo comes to mind, namely, sleeping when he needs work to be done and failing to sleep when he wants to sleep. One would often wonder how, despite that supposedly sleepy state while working, he could produce something as spectacular as he always does. The command for a frown might seep its way through the flock of synapses, as one would recall that Paulo never left one's side even once. Given his busy schedule and hectic activities, it is a miracle how he can spend time brooding with a friend over problems whenever the situation calls for it. And, if only one more emotion can be permitted to appear in relation to this highly capable example of the male half of the species homo luden, that last emotion would be exuberant laughter. Days spent with the person we have come to know as Paulo Enrico Florentin Pabiton would never be without laughter, which is very much the reason why days spent with him is well sought-after.

Delussional

2007-08-27T16:02:00.000+08:00

Everyone's sending GMs. 89% of them are dramatic, heart-wrenching, sad love story-ish, emotic (I am the new Shakespeare, walang kokontra.) quotes, or quoted quotes? I, for one, have gone back to going on ~~Unlimited~~ Unlimitxt (Fine, just so it's appropriate, because I'm Globe!). Do you want to know when I began going back on unli, as we so lovingly call it? (Lovingly?) Well, the eve of the eve of our Quarterly Tests. I'm not sure if it's the original set of days, or the postponed ones, but I'm sure it's the eve of the eve of the first day of the Quarterly Tests. Am I delussional or am I insane? How can I have gone on unlimited (not to mention actually ABUSE it) when I'm supposed to be studying? No one will ever know. I know I don't know why, but I know I did it anyway. I spent 238497 hours texting while studying. Ah, the wondeful age of multi-tasking homo ludens have finally arrived. Isn't it wonderful to be a real, living, member of this sub-species of homos? I know, right? To listen to my mother talk to her friends while fixing things for their trip (See? Even old people are multi-tasking!) and listening to a screw-up belching tunes on my neighbor's karaoke machine, writing a blog post and last but not the least eating Sky Flakes (Yum, it's my yellow food of the day!) with Guava Jelly AND Strawberry Jam all at the same time is quite a feat. I doubt that our ancestors can manage to do this. Oh, another thing I'm doing, kissing babies. Not kissing-french-kissing, idiot. I'm giving them pecks! My Tita brought her kids, and Ate Marie her niece, and they came upstairs ready to storm my mother's room. One thing I am NOT doing is studying. I'm tired of studying, I won't be studying until I absolutely have to. I can't grab another academic book NOW, I can only read NOVELS! I'm reading Wuthering Heights after finishing The Heiress (a Mom novel), I swear. But wait, I haven't finished Emma yet, and that other book I'm reading. Whatever, I'll attend to that later.

On with the emotional GMs I'm supposed to be writing about, the messages I haven't yet deleted anyway.

From Sheila: Don't let someone who loves you go away or even lose touch. Because it's more than a heartache when you finally say, "Why didn't I love you before like I love you now, now that you can never be mine."

*Screams!!!* Hell. Okay, I must not say anything. Oh hell, curses, I will. I'll say it from the someone who loves you POV. Not mine life, okay? Just a thought for all teenagers out there. What if you've already gotten over THE ONE when THE ONE suddenly wants you already? Well, would you go for THE ONE or The-other-one-you're-with. Well, from the POV of THE ONE. It's the suckiest feeling ever. But wait, that piece of advice from the quote is quite selfish. What if you have TONS of people who are madly in love with you, are you supposed to flirt with them until you decide who to choose? And, in our case, studying in seperate single-sex schools where your only communication on weekdays is through text or IM or phone calls, how in the devil are we to know they're not "not letting someone who loves them go away or even lose touch" too? This world is very, very twisted. People flirt through technology, or people become friendly through technology, but since facial expressions (and tones of voice) cannot be transported through technology you'll never know it the other party is serious or sees you as one-of-them. One. Of. Them. Which is how you see the other party! It's twisted, really. Hoping against all odds for something that another person is hoping against all odds from you. Am I making sense? Or am I using too much pronouns that you can never determine WHICH party I'm talking about?

That twistedness will lead me to the next quote...Irene's.

If you like me, then say so. If you don't, stop acting like as if you do.

Ditto! I WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM THAT TO EVERY SINGLE GUY OUT THERE. And all of us ladies. We're all frigging guilty, yet we agonize over every single man (I'm using the female POV this time, wouldn't make a difference) who acts as if they like us but not really. We do that too. I wonder if guys feel the same way too? And HOW do you know that guys don't treat EVERY OTHER GIRL the same way? Or even better? Hey woman, do you understand how the male species think? If you say yes, you're a damned liar. That's not TRULY mine, I got that thought from The Heiress. I only paraphrased it to suit my mood (as it was meant for the other half of the homo luden species primarily). So if I may, can I please say? If you like me/us, then say so. If you don't, stop acting like as if you do. It confuses us ladies. Give us a break.

But you know what? I think if someone says that, she's actually wanting you to take the former option--to "say so", not "stop acting like you do". Which will lead me to remember Jesy's...

Dasal ng isang sawi sa pag-ibig...
Lord, bigyan niyo po ako ng sign kung siya na nga,
kung hindi...Lord naman, please, siya na kasi!

HAHA. Sounds like that, actually. I've deleted the original one already. But you see? We ask God to lead us to the "right" choice, but no matter what the supposed "right" is, we still WANT our chosen choice, regardless if it's "right" or "wrong".

This is frustrating, actually, if there is a person who WILL understand how the opposite sex thinks, that person is a frigging genius. OH MY. I THINK I KNOW THE EXACT PERSON! Sir Andy O.! YES, HIM! HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. That painting teacher is exceptionally smart, I swear. Yes, he's the only person I know who comes close to understanding women--and men. Everyone.

Last mind-numbing, arm-shaking GM is from Reinier:

Alam mo ba, sa tuwing malalaman kong malungkot ka, gusto kitang lapitan, yakapin ng sobrang higpit at sabihing "Andito lang ako." Kaso lang, hindi ko magawa, kasi alam kong hindi ako ang kailangan mo.

I don't want that feeling. I never want to have that feeling--if I never had it before. I think I did have that feeling already, but then, I just can't remember. Or I don't want to remember. Regression! Or is it repression? Damn it, I got that wrong in the Health test. Once in the test, in the test it stayes. Damn?

Oh, pahabol. Here's another message from Reinier, still.

Six pieces of advice from Iman Ghazali:

1. Closest to us in not family, but death.

2. Furthest from us is not the moon or stars, but time passed.

3. Biggest is not the mountain or the sun, but our lust or desire (Sigmund Freud, is that you?!)

4. Heaviest weight is not the elephant or iron, but responsibility.

5. Lightest is neither wind, nor feathers, but not praying or delaying it.

6. Sharpest is neither knife nor sword, but our tongue.

Well?

And I can remember this one from Alyssa:

Math tells us the saddest love stories. Parallel lines that could never meet, tangent lines who met once but parted forever, and asymptotes who can come closer and closer but will never, ever, get together.

I wonder which my love story will be? For more on Math and love analogies, go to Forest's blog entry HERE.

FUN is spelled as W-E-E-K

2007-08-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

ICON by Trisha. (She insists that I frigging look like the girl. What the?)

This, by far, is the funnest week ever! The best week of junior year since I don't know when. It all began with the tests. The tests were fun (no sarcasm intended!) because I studied. It feels REALLY great when you know what to put in the test, coz once in the test, in the test it stays.

MONDAY

We all had to go to Reich's place to do our History project. Naligaw kami ni Celine. Sino ba naman kasi ang mag-aakala na dalawa ang #118 na bahay sa E. Dela Paz street, San Roque, Marikina? We got to the first #118 that we saw, but, unfortunately, we could not find a ~~ding-dong~~ doorbell.

Celine: *kumakatok ng malakas sa gate* Bianca! Sumigaw ka.

Bee: Anong sasabihin ko?

Celine: Reichelle.

Bee: REICHEEELLE!

Celine: *laugh* *pause* *looks left* REICHELLE!

Reichelle: Bakit kayo nandyan?

Bee: #118 ka diba!!!

Reichelle: Yung isa!!!

Hahaha! Dude! Who would've thought? It's one hell of a lucky miracle that the dwellers of the first #118 didn't open the door! We did our project--paper mache of the Rosetta Stone! UNFORTUNATELY, we lacked resources--hair dryer. You know what we did? You know? You know? You don't know! We didn't blow the glue dry, dimwits. We went to *durumdumdum!* Jollibee, Blue Wave. We used the hand dryer...yeah. And! It got dry! Yeah! Then Michelle had to go home, bye, bye.

After painting the Rosetta Stone, I went to Gateway to meet up with my Mom. Apparently, Tita Che was there too. They were going shopping, but I simply had to study for the QTs the next day! I went to Starbucks (Gah. I shall not waste money on overpriced drinks unless it's an emergency!) and read CLE. And took notes for CLE on the lovely brown napkin. I love the Starbucks atmosphere, but they are way overpriced man. THEN SOMEONE GRABBED MY BAG FROM THE CHAIR BESIDE ME! I almost screamed, pero biglang si Alex Ramos pala! HAHA! Benta. I'd kill you dude :> Talked for a while, then my Mom fetched me and the driver and we went home! But I bought a bar of Snickers first!

I went home and studied for English and Chemistry! (Translation: I read my notes and recited the LPs to myself. Period.)

TUESDAY

The Chem test was...fine, I guess. It wasn't hard, but I can't remember if it was easy! English test, the supposedly easy test was a shocker. It's full of those analytical-multiple choice items and I simply despise that! :-( But I loved the other parts though!

CLE test was the bomb. It killed me. Ironic use of...whatever. I have this notion that all True or False tests have the equal number of correct false and true items...apparently I was wrong. Ugh? Just so you know, the answer to the crossword puzzle 9Across, the one at the very bottom, is EXPERIENCE! 10 letters! MAN? I answered TEACHINGSS. Haha!

For the afternoon, we had the Algebra remedials. Well, all I did was pretty much draw a mouse longing for food. I was SO hungry! I want food with the same amount of passion as the Ratatouille rat do! So I didn't listen all that much, but the teacher's REALLY good! Ms. Valente? I wonder who'll replace Ms. Orteza now that she gave birth?

And so I went home to study for Health, and a bit of History. A bit, because one who studied for 6 hours don't repeat everything again! ((:

WEDNESDAY

AP TEST WAS HARD. `Nuff said.

Oh, pahabol! Health was frigging easy! Algeb was okay too. (:

And when I went home, I studied, and cried! I cried while reading Noli Me Tangere (3PM - 10PM!). But I didn't cry because of Noli. I cried because I didn't want to study. I always study and I want to be free! I want summer already!

THURSDAY (!!!)

Yesterday was THE best day ever! (Ice skatiiiiing!) I woke up at 3AM to study Rizal's life. I didn't get to because reading 28 chapters take a lotta time. I remember reading something in English that lonely hour of 3 in the morning (Hell.), but when I got to the bus and I read the LP again, all were in Filipino. I must be going crazy. Haha! Or dreaming. My guardian angel must've been studying for me. Yay!

Filipino test! It was frigging easy! Sort of. But hell! It was! I hope I get a nice grade to pull up the MQT. Geom test? It was fine too. I didn't get to review everything though, so I got restless when people were passing their papers.

Then! WE WENT TO PAM'S HOUSE. I thought Regine wouldn't get to go na to the Skating thing, but thank heavens she joined us! We picked her up at her place, then went to Mega. Pam and Reg didn't want to go skating, so we went to the movie house after eating at Yoshinoya. (May group na SOBRANG bigay-todo tumawa, kaya natatawa na din kami. Must. Control. Seld.) We left them--for about 2 minutes, then went back and begged them to go! We went in the rink first, then they followed after 5 minutes. It was a lotta fun (in the Isa/Idonna accent)!!! I can skaaate! I didn't fall...AT ALL! And I can do it fast-ish already, a big step from Bee-holding-the-railings! (:

Then, someone called us from above. "Bianca!" Si Bo. Funneh. Talked to the lunatic for a while. (Tumakas sa guard papasok! Tapos kelangan pala ng stamp palabas. Ah, yun lang. Buti nakatakas ulit!) Then we wanted to go to Mega Plaza already, but the driver was goooone! We waited for an hour, but he still wasn't there! So we rode the taxi to Galle.

Galle, hmm. I was at Toys 'R' Us to buy (~~a birthday gift for som~~) something, and I did! I found a little frog. Then someone was poking my ribs (the spot without kiliti, ha!), and *durumdum* Marci. Then he went to Faye and did the same thing.

Faye: *playing Winnie the Pooh* Bianca ano ba, tumigil ka.

Marci: *tuloy pa din*

Faye: Bianca!

Bianca: *goes in front of Faye*

Marci: *tuloy pa din*

Bianca: Faye.

Faye: Bianca?

HAHAHA. Benta. Pero she didn't get to finish the game!!! Sayang. Letter something na pa naman siya! After that, we went to Friday's to eat, Pam's Mom's treat. THEN, THEN! They asked if we were celebrating anything, and we said Faye's birthday! She got free ice cream and a dance!!! MADAYA!!! =(( =)) Haha! Then we went to National to buy paint and (me) a palette knife, and then we went to the arcade! Then my Mom called. Off to the house then. Haha!

FRIDAY

Today...we had our AFS meeting! Divine was the winner of Bomb Shelter (?)! YEAH! She played Plato. (Kutseiruh, Teenidowr, ay, WEH.) She won! She won! Against Mother Theresa and Ghandi! Yeah! Plato deserves to live because he holds the secrets of the republic, he's thinking of science so he can invent something that could bring back the dead, and he's a man--he can reproduce many times! WHAT!!! Benta, dude!

Then we had our THE. I'm a Don Hen girl! OJT at Don Henrico's, Brickroad! BE THERE OR DIE NOT THERE! Support! Next quarter we'll be doing it! Me iz xzited! :x

And then...

KANSER!

We watched High School Musical 2 (GUILTY PLEASURE!!!!!) on the way, but we didn't finish it. =)) Then we watched the play, it was awesome! Real fine! I <3>

Diosdado Macapagal bridge: Dare: DON'T BREATHE WHEN WE GET IN UNTIL WE GET OUT! I DID IT!!! Yeah, scream with me! Scream thee! Then Kim and I had a heart to heart talk about college, and husbands. :)) And now I'm home.

It's the best frigging week ever! I feel awesome! AND TIRED! Painting tomorrow! And Trish will go to Shang, I wanna come. (:

Don't Drop Out (?)

2007-08-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

I received a text from my Mom's friend:

Lunes, pag gising ni Maria, 3 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 3 piraso na lang ang buhok ko. Ititirintas ko 'to!"

Martes, pag gising ni Maria, 2 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 2 piraso na lang ang buhok ko. A, hahatiin ko 'to sa gitna!"

Miyerkules, pag gising ni Maria, 1 na lang ang buhok niya. "Nay, nay! 1 piraso na lang ang buhok ko!

Hmm? While reading it, I was waiting for a punch line. Well, it's pretty much a moral tale, when you see the last line. But before I get serious, I just want to say: ANG HILIG NG PINAY SA PANGALANG MARIA! Ang hilig ng Math teachers sa pangalang Susan, Sally, Sue, Marcy at Jenny. Ang hilig ng English teachers sa pangalang Ben, Jenny, Lucy at kung anu-ano pa. At ang hilig ng Filipino teachers sa panglang Juan, Jose at Maria. I never saw my name on those word problems, on those Find-the-subject/direct object/object of the preposition (which I never got, by the way)/predicate exercises! All I ever see is Ben, Susan, Sally, Sue, Seashells. It's quite disturbing, really. I just hope they never name their kids Sally, Sue or Seashells. It's way too American. But then again, I'd prefer that to names with unnecessary Hs (No offense to those unlucky enough to have experimental-slash-hippie-parents during 1991--or whatever year you were born) like Mariah (not Carey, MA-REE-YAH), and one that I saw on one of the tricycles this afternoon: Fhe. I mean, what the hell? FF-HEH? What's the H for? And Rhose? How's Jhane? Or worse, changing Bs to Vs in the tackiest way--Veverly. Ehem, A Rhose By Any Other Name by the guy in first year, Ms. Arcilla's LP. That was the best! Ling raised to the power of two. Bong-bong, Bing-bing, Ling-ling (my Mom!), Ton-ton, Tan-tan, Ding-dong. Who would name their kid Ding-dong? Ding-dong! Anybody home?

Moving oooon. There's no punch line. The last line says:

Lesson? Be POSITIVE. Dahil ang buhay, ~~weather-weather lang -Kuya Kim~~ depende lang sa attitude yan!

Well? It wasn't just a quote I'm reading, processing, and deleting. I might delete it, yes, but the message will always and forever be with me. My Tita's been telling me things since last Monday. I kind of pissed my Mom off last Sunday...she told me that she's having a hard time raising me because I'm selfish and I need to get what I want, when I want, or else I'll be feeling bad. I'm not really like that, she just sees it that way. Sabi nga, weather-weather lang yan. And she just catch me on my off-days. But I'm used to it, doesn't bother me. And my Tita was there when my Mom was lecturing me (I really AM the black sheep, the hatest of all kids) and she sent me messages yesterday and today to make me feel better. And, in all fairness, I did feel better after that no-pinch-line text.

I really must see things under a positive light. See? That's why the flourescent light is better than the yellow, tear-shaped bulb. (All hail Angelito Flores! F*ck the government for not funding him...he had to go to Russia! But well, we don't have money, so whatever.) The flourescent bulb's brighter, so I'll see more clearly, and I'll see things positively. Like now, I'm supposed to be reading Noli, I'll look at it at a positive light: I'm doing this now and not studying because I have to get my brain ready, to rest for a while, or else I'll be torturing myself. Wait, that was crooked. (: Not quite the way I wanted it to sound but deal with it.

Positive light! Look at History optimistically. I hate the test, kind of. I could recite everything in the book and in my notebook from memory! But then, the questions were quite tricky and not all for details, you have to think! I didn't expect a thinking test, she doesn't usually give thinking tests, so I had a hard time. I just answered, and once the text is in the test, in the test it stays. Why is it that every time we check papers, I have that "Ay, sh&t, oonga no!" feeling and while taking the test, I never do? I always end up getting the wrong answers. Well, it'll serve as a test, next time, I'll do better because I'll study more and understand more.

Before I go, I have to tell you! Did I tell you about that kid in church? The kid who stared at me for the 1239846 minutes of the duration of the mass? Yeah? The two-ish years old who reached up to the top of my knees and knew my name? Yeah? I did? Well, I know who he is! I went to the Parish groundbreaking last Sunday, and one of my Mom's aunties came up to us and said that her grandson saw us in church and stared at us! HAHA. So thaaaat's the kid. Oh well. I better go now and read my Noli. Today was supposed to be the easiest day--History? I thought I would nail it. (Translation: I didn't!), Algebra? It was nice. I kinda liked it, but I got one word problem wrong already, too bad. Health? Pretty much the easiest so far! I hope. Who knows, it might be full of trick questions? Yesterday was the heaviest! Chemistry and English together? Well, but I didn't study. I read the facts, and studied the facts and the facts alone. But guess what? The facts were what, 30-40% of the test? Only that! Ha! Especially English. I don't like the thought-provoking multiple choice analysis-of-text items! We have different views! ((: And CLE? Don't talk to me about CLE. Next in line and Last in line: Filipino and Geometry! I'm gonna kill myself for Filipino and not think of the smart-ass bitches (Note: That's a term of endearment if it comes from me, darlings :-*) who got exempted! THE LOT OF THEM! Waa! I'm jealous! Boo-hoo. Okay, don't keeeep that in mind!

I'm off!

PS. (~~Who knows where to get a WWJD bracelet? Or who can teach me to make one? Or who can buy me one?~~)Who can kindly give me an IDEA (and better yet--an aid!) as to where/how I can get the WWJD bracelet NOW? I've been wanting it since I was in f***ing Grade 5! I had one in Grade 5 but I can't find it now. And I've wanted one ever since! That's what, 5 years!

PPS! I found my Grade 7 ID. Eek! Not me! Not ME! Oh fine, face it. Me. *Crieeeeeees!*

PPPS: I'm reforming, I'm eating properly, and I'm quitting being too dependent on my grooming kit. Ako'y insekta ng bayan. Ha? Wala lang. I'm wasted. Bye, y'all.

Passive

2007-08-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

What the hell is wrong with me? One minute I'm so excited and the next I'm cursing the whole world. I know that I can't leave the house and not see someone I know. Even when I got to McDonalds (any branch, man) I get to see someone I know. Or at least, someone who's familiar. This morning, I left the house having that giddy feeling, wondering who I'll see today, or if I'll even see someone today. It's been a staple in my life that if I go out, I make it a point to feel happy. I'll leave all the bitterness at home, even though that's highly unhealthy. I should be leaving the unhappiness outside the house so I can be peaceful at home. I can't seem to do that, I feel out of place in my own home.

Well, guess what, I actually texted today. And it benefited me. Communicating with friends is quite and awesome thing. I was hyper, I was texting and I became extremely hyper and my too-random-to-be-functional humor got out of hand--again. And only I could understand myself. I sent Ian B. a message telling him that I'm hyper because for some incomprehensible reason, the lunatic understand my humor. *smug grin* And guess what? He said he couldn't go OL because he was at MedCity. And do you know where I was? MEDCITY! Ha. Is that cool or what? Anyway, I pulled Tricia downstairs so I could say hello to Braga, then guess who I saw? I heard someone call my name and then *dumdumdumdum* I saw Pao Impe! Here's the really, really cool thing, two minutes before he called me, I was talking my sister about him! I forgot what we were talking about, but what the hell. That's pretty amazing. It's like some sort of a mind-reading powerd of fate? It's freaky, but then, it always, always happen. I talk about someone, and it's like some kind of magic and I conjure the person! Next thing I know, he/she will be in the same place as me! Woah. I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter, some witches are late bloomers, you know?

And so I got my injections. It's one of those series-of-injections things, I come back twice a month. You see, Dra. *what's her name?* diagnosed me with breast cancer, and I have to go back to have injections that would kill the tumor. It actually sucks, everytime I go there, I have to strip down to my pants, and she'll be examining my chest, while Mom and Trish had their eyes closed. Okay, you got me. I'm totally kidding. The injection was anti-ovary cancer, plus it prevents HIV or other STDs. Hel-lo? Me? Bee? Contracting HIV? I don't think so...unless my future husband would have HIV? Well, hell. I weigh 2 or 3 kilograms more than I used to weigh (last month). That's 4.4-6.6 pounds gained! Ha. How incredibly uplifting--not.

I went to Megamall after, and I felt like shit. I hated life. I hated the way my Mom think of the helps and the driver as stupid. No one's stupid. No one's perfect! And if there's anyone out there who never, ever, had a sin or forgot something, let him or her cast the first stone. But please. I know, I know, Mom's having a hard time with all her sicknesses but it doesn't serve as an excuse. If there's one thing I learned from Assumption, it's to respect everyone and everything. Yep. That's why I'm friends with the helps. They know more about than my crushes than my parents do! And oh yeah, I felt shitty because my Mom was feeling shitty and it carried over to me. It's one of those contagious moods, you know what I mean? I began to get pissed, and hate my Mom. Then going home, she had this gur-wrenching pain attack and she was clutching her appendix and she was groaning and screaming, and that's when I realized: I love my Mom and I'm not ready to lose her. I wish I had all her sickeness and pain so that she'll be there to take care of my other siblings.

I know I'm not that into having my siblings rival me for the driver and the van (I can't drive the other car till I'm 16--or till I'm a legitimate adult--and I can't possibly have my Dad drive me in his car! Haha. He's a Dad, not a driver.) I need my own driver! WOAH. And I cried. I cried at the passiveness of my life. I'm just so bored. I hate concentrating in school. I don't want to get very good grades if that's in place of fun-fun-F-U-N! Fuck that 100 for Geom, and that other 100 for the next Geom test, fuck that English 100 and all the other ridiculously boring grades. No one cares about it in the real world. I mean, I don't, so why would others even care? Ha. Grades are just numbers, and no one would want to ever hear of them again. I think I'd much rather fail--or not fail-fail, just normal fail. But still! It's just that my Mom always tell me to stop studying, and I can't tell her that I have nothing better to do since she thinks me going out is such a nuisance that she doesn't allow me to have the driver and the van all to myslef for a day. Now, how the hell am I going to unfocus from my studies if they won't give me a chance! They don't have a right to complain. NO. NO. Big fat letter N, followed by a fatter O! Fuck you. Screw your screwed minds. Pun not intended. I just don't like it that they see me as one of the kids. I'm not a kid anymore! News flash: They can change the rules, man. They can alter it to meet halfway!

I need to cry, I have too much of estrogen, like my Mom. I hate being the bearer of the X-chromosome! Why can't I have been born male, with all the freedom and the life? OR WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD AN OLDER BROTHER! If I ever get out of my prison cell and form my own family...I won't trap them in a jail I created. I'll raise them the way my parents raised me, with the values, but, I won't restrict them the way my parents restrict me. They can learn from their mistakes. I won't make them learn from mine--not that I'll have a chance to commit them, coz I won't.

Little Devil

2007-08-17T11:02:00.000+08:00

Ah-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Ah-looooo-ha! *jumps up in the air and does a backflip* Yeah, baby. No classes tomorrow, and yesterday, and the day before. And oh yeah, I almost forgot, today. Do you know why I haven't been posting? Well, our Quarterly Tests arrived. *dandandandan* Well, at least they were supposed to, but then the rains arrived first, and the Tests (yeah, with a capital T) were delayed. Too bad. It wasn't too awful last Wednesday. We weren't sent home when classes were suspended, but it was okay. We had the mass (which was very long, even in my standards--and I'm the girl who can stand really long mass celebrations.) with the Koreanito priest. *Cough?* Then we had the community day. Ay hindi, bago pala yun, recess, we were given ice creams! They were given ice creams. Naubusan ako. Boo-hoo. Man. Next year, I'm gonna be fast and I'm gonna get my share of ice cream! Ha! Then the community day. Lots of picture taking, lots of presentations, and lots of rain. You know, for some particularly weird reason, the rain doesn't make me feel gloomy, it actually cheers me up. Well.

Oh, hey. I have one fear conquered. Or is it supposed to be "had"? Since technically, it was conquered last Tuesday, but then again, it still is conquered today? Oh whatever. What's the conquered fear? The fear of the stove people! I actually managed to go near the stove--and produce something relatively edible. I cooked pasta, men! I followed 3 seperate recipes, so that makes my recipe an original. It does look like gravy--point taken. But still! It tastes like pasta. Cheer with me y'all!

But I didn't go near it again ever since.

I studied, if you might want to know. I slept, then I studied, then I ate. I ate too much I think I'm going to gain SO. MUCH. WEIGHT. All of it goes to my arms, of course. I believe that in the 13 pounds that I gained since last summer, 5 went to my left arm, 5 went to my right arm, 2 went to my bum (THANK YOU LORD) and 1 went to my stomach. What the hell? I used to not have humongous arms. Whatever. I'm not eating until I feel like I'm passing out. I know it's not proper, but I survive that.

Oh, I'm reading a self-help book: Battlefield of the Mind for Teens by Joyce Meyer. Is she realated to John Meyer. Waley, joke lang. Sorry, sorry. Haha! Anyway, it's actually pretty nice, there are a lot of things that makes me nod and knot my brows at the same time. I'll give you a clip:

Satan is a liar. Jesus called him "the father of lies and of all that is false" (John 8:44). Here are some of his deceptive lines, which he'll use as he tries to control your mind. How many of them have you heard in one form or the other?(Wait, may naamoy akong hindi maganda, I can smell foul foot odor, ew? Where'd that come frome, anyway, moving on...)

-You don't need to listen to your parents, your pastor, your youth leaders, and all thouse other people who try to tell you how to live. I mean, look at 'em, those incompetent hypocrites. Look at all their flawes and inconsistencies. This is your life. Live it your way. (Whoops, I've heard--and said this a thousand times, man.)

-Drinking, drugs, and sex won't really hurt you. All of those horror stories won't happen to you. It's just a big scare tactic. Adults just don't want you to have any fun--even if they had plenty when they were your age. They just want to control you. (Same goes for parents preventing you from having boyfriends/girlfriends. And for the parents who don't want you to go out. THe last two sentences have dawned upon me in more times that I can count, and this well, struck me like a bullet shot from telescoped gun. Wait, what? Heh. But the drinking, drugs and sex? Nah, not my area of expertise.)

-Do you really believe in "the devil"? Some red-skinned bald dude with a pointy tail and a pitch fork? An intelligent person like you? Get real--that's a myth. There is no devil, and there is no hell. And, by the way, there is no God or heaven, either. "Right now" is all there is. So, get yours while you can. (Wait a minute. FYI! Since 2 years ago, I have resolved that bald guys are hot. And no one dare contradict! VERY few people can actually pull it off, and if you can, then woah. *thump!* Okay, moving on. Well, that's a very wonderful technique. Squeezing in the "There is no God" part as a "by the way" statement. Like it's not important? Fuck you, devil. His greatest tactic and mission: Make us believe that he doesn't exist. And he has all eternity to pester us, man.)

-Come one, admit it: You have doubs about God all the time. If God was real, why would He allow these doubts to creep up inside your head? (Hey, hey, you, you, ~~I want to be your girlfriend!~~ if you ever took time to listen to Ms. Clarete, you'll know why. So listen while you've got the chance. I KNOW she's malabo sometimes, but if you listen, she'll actually make sense.)

-If there was a God who cared, would you feel as lonely as you do, as overwhelmed by life as you do, as powerless to change things?

Well, that's that. And for APA's sake, it's page 8, paragraph 2. I read that book for one reason and one reason alone: My sister told me she told my Mom who's angry at me that I read it and she advised me to read it or else. Ha! Then...now, I have a better reason. I actually like it. I never, in my entire life, imagined myself to be someone reading a self-help book. I mean, hel-lo? But well, I actually enjoyed it. I chose the book over Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, It Girl: Reckless, Hardy Boys 41 or 42 (Oo na, geeky to read it but I absolutely adore it--ever since I was in Grade 3! Heh.), Emma and Pride and Prejudice. That's how much interest the book sucked out of me. Why don't you try reading it?

Before I go, I'll have to say this. For all the make-up whores out there, change you mascare every month and your sponges every week. Okay? Thanks. That's what Jay Manuel said, I never knew that. But oh well. My mascara is 6 months old, FYI. And my sponge? Well, I don't really use a sponge. I like the liquid foundation better. But I don't use it. I use the translucent-bronzer-whatever from L'oreal. And speaking of whores, random information: I'm a ketchup/barbecue sauce/any other dense sauce-whore. Anyway, I guess I'm off.

PS. The little cartoon drawing of a devil is cute, but the old devil? No, man. Ew?

PPS. For future references. The P came yesterday. Okay, B? Happy. Mood swing.

ME and ME alone, ME-nie

2007-08-10T18:08:00.000+08:00

All about ME by none other than ME.

A) Do you love me
or B) Do you love me?
None of the above, says he me he
For I'll go choose C
Which says I absolutely love thee
More than you say "you love me"
And to love thee shall be
The only loving that can ever be
With fireflies and a honey bee
In the light of the (big blue) sea
With the blinking cherry

And the incredible javoonee

O, ha. Impromptu poem. (!!!) Well, you know how I am, I write things only to be interpreted by me. You know, maybe, one hundred years from now, I'll be revered for my incomprehensible poetry that's supposed to be disected and analyzed for the meaning. Or maybe I'll be forgotten or remembered as the girl who doesn't make sense. But then again, William Shakespeare ~~doesn't~~ didn't really make sense. He's a genius because we analyze his poetry and we actually SEE meaning. Am I the next Shakespeare? Am I the next person to write a play full of ~~teenage stupidity~~ true love? I am! I am, well, the first Bianca. If I ever fail being a Shakespeare, (which, we all know, will be brought to light in 3...2...1...blast off. Bam. I am SO not gonna be the next Shakespeare. Point taken.) I'll compromise by showing you a poem by a REAL genius.

Death by John Donne

Death be not proud, though some call thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou kill me.

From Rest and Sleep, which but thy picture be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow

And soonest our b est men with these do go--

Rest of their bones and soul's delivery!

Thou'rt slave to Fate, chance, Kings, and deperate men,

And dost with poison, war and sickness dwell;

And poppu of charms can make us sleep as well

And better that they stroke. Why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we make eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die

Okay, okay, I am NEVER going to be the next John Donne. He makes sense, yeah. And I don't. So I'll keep my hopes up that I can be Shakespeare. Comment not if thy valueth thy life and shall not despise to desert this ground that is thus spent as sugar from the friar's granary. AND, thou shalt not think that I do not make sense. That's only okay when I say it. Oh, fine, alright. It's fine when you say it too.

Poetry isn't my thing.

Exactly.

But...

Yeah.

So we didn't have clubs today. Nuh-uh. No AFS, no rhetorics! Ha. We aren't doing rhetorics and british/asian parliament until second quarter. Beware, AFS. We had Chem and Algeb instead, because we had no classes yesterday! And last Wednesday too. Last Wednesday, storm or no storm, we wouldn't have classes. Teachers were to go to Laguna to observe some school, but wait! Were there classes? How could they have observed if there were no classes? Weird. So, anyway, everyone ended up without classes for two days, and yesterday felt like Sunday that when Tep arrived (unannounced, and I love Tep for saving me from dire boredom!!!), I was rushing so that we'll be done by the time we are to go to mass. But it was a Thursday. No mass, just TV. We watched the replay of the DLSU-ADMU game, because games were CANCELLED! My, my? Well.

And today, we went back to school, and tomorrow, we won't! Lovely do, Lovey doey. I'm gonna have painting! Then study for the shut-up-and-work subject a.k.a. the subject taught by the pregnant teacher. By the way, ~~Algebra is HARD.~~ (Positive attitude, positive attitude!) Algebra is easy. It's one thing to have positive attitude, but it's another to be a liar. So okay, Algebra is hard. *breath in* *breathed in* And well, Geometry test was cancelled today and we'll have it on Monday instead, together with Algebra. Is that torture or is that torture? None of the above. It's a crime. But we will manage. See? A positive attitude is not so bad.

Oh! And we cooked pineapple jam. IT WAS VERY YUMMY. Delicioso! Want some? Call me. *stucks out tongue* Bleh. Sure, you can have some. Come over! And, wait. But no! My stomach is rebelling! It's churning. It. Is. Not. The. Jam. Neither. Is. It. The. LASAGNA. Noooooo! Noooo! It's the, uh, water! Yeah. The water makes my stomach churn.

Guess what else happened today?

Yeah?

We did our monologo! Minus project. Ha. =)) We're do-o-one! Isa and Reich were with me. Isa was Tyago, Reich was Damaso, and I was Tasyo. ~~Some person apparently sold balots according to a certain polygon teacher.~~ Oh well. I merely shouted, but, but, I didn't get to do a variety of things! (!!) Boo. && I will do better next monologue. I suh-fucking-wear! Oh, right? Yeah. Bye, baby. Babies. My baby is ~~Dimpong~~ Charisse. ;) And I'm her Mommy.

PS! Maan ni Ryan! Congratulations to your Ryan for being one of the finalists for the NU contest! Hihi! :-* is in the air.

PPS! Happy Birthday Go, Richela, Mich, and Pau yester-yesterday! (08-08-07), and Bo yesterday (08-09-07) and An-duh-reeew tomo-tomorrow (08-12-07). And all the other celebrants I failed to mention! :) Like my Granmama (08-05-07)

Bee's off? Yeah, you bet! I'm FREE TONIGHT! I'm going to REST. :>

The Future...

2007-08-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

No classes tomorrow. Oh, what a joyous surprise! (Note the sarcasm.) Think about it, we should've had our Chemistry test this morning, but due to the little detail that everyone else will get another weekend of studying (Read: More time to study), she owed it to us to give us the same amount of studying. Aw, that's so sweet! I think she has a very incredibly compassionate heart, it's just that...that...I'd rather have the test today! I don't want another weekend of studying! I've spent more than enough time yesterday studying for ~~today's~~ Tuesday's test. Who to blame? ~~Gloria Macapagal Arroyo~~, the Malacanang!

Why did they have to cancel classes. Oh, right, registration for SK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE REGISTRATION PROCESS GOES, (or what I'm registering for?), but well, I'm not complaining that I've got an extra day to lie around and wait on my friends. (But, Chem test!!! Okay, Bee, think happy thoughts...endless movies...endless sleeping...endless chit-chatting with Tep and Sang ~~and Reg~~ and not Reg coz she's playing tennis...okay, mind set changed!) THANK YOU MALACANANG. But still, what IS the SK? Two months ago I would have killed to try my hand at that (after finding out what that is, of course,), but now, it just seems like a pathetic way to try and fill up my college application forms and more work. I really can't do that. I've got enough in my hands already. That, and the fact that my barangay is quite scary, people there, people here, tambay there, tambay here. Basically, it's not a lovely neighborhood. I'd rather not go out the house, much less to actually join the people who scare me enough to keep me grounded within my (very comforting compared to the streets) little house. So now, I don't give a damn about my college applications. I'd give them a spectacular (HA. Work on it, Bee. You can do it, just don't slack off.) report card! (Am I kidding myself? I'd like to think I am NOT, against my better judgment.) Oh hell. Yeah, right. Can I give them a spectacular report card? Well, maybe if I trade my name with Bless, Khisby...Haha! Illegal ways. But whatever. I'll give them BIANCA's report card, and if they don't want me, then SO. BE. IT. Their loss. I'd give them credentials! (Not particularly helpful though?) I'll tell them I was part of Events, Prom Documentary, Debate Club, Basketball Team, painted with oil on weekends, and studied computer programs. And to quote Lady Sovereign: Love me or hate me, still and obssession, love me or hate me that is the question, if you love me then thank you! If you hate me, then...FUCK YOU! Well. There.

Now where was I? SK? What the hell is it? Cayco wanted to be part of it. But then, that's Cayco. She's always wanted to be a politician, but me...Me? Politician? Lawyer? Must have some connection. But law is kind of more on the abiding by the law and defending the law and getting around the law while politicians (generally, okay?) are simply about disregarding the law and getting their wallets stuffed. But then, not all of them, just a couple who...whatever. GMA is great. And that's what I think. I think she's not after money or power. She's not even responding to the rumors circulating around about her. She just does her job. I admire her, god. But I don't think I'm fit to be a politician. Leave that to Caix (She's the good kind, not the corrupt, dearies. Chill.) and I'll debate and do my thing.

'Ya get?

And my thing: MOVIES. Tomorrow, Alyssa and Tep are coming over. Wait, Alyssa, are you coming over? Ditch tennis! Yay! Nauna tayo.

And PS, while we're discussing the future ~~of mankind~~ my teeny bitsy (not literal, ha, coz then I'd be a liar.) life, I'm having a major decision decided upon at this moments. My first son will be named Galicano. And that's final. Don't marry me if you don't want it. Get it? Now scram.

I need to reeeeest. Good bye. I was exhausted after the basketball training, and I must get to bed, NOW. I drank (and always do) 3-5 bottles or glasses of drink. Today: My water from my tumbler, my brother's C2, 2 bottles of gatorade, and 2 glasses of water. All within 2 hours after training. Not healthy, but I loooove the feeling of having cold liquids inside my mouth. Hmmm.

I'm sorry AFS, I can't do a thing about the Visual Plan 'till tomorrow. As said, tired!

Boo! Korea.

2007-07-31T17:39:00.000+08:00

Is it even sensible to want to jot down coherent sentences when your mind is not coherent? Is it even sensible to think of sensibility when you are not sensible? Duh. Shame on you, I want to blab, and on to it I shall. I can't remember what I did today, except for those teeny, tiny bit of departure when I had to BOO people. Weridom is reigning the hallways. BOO. ~~Holloween~~ Halloween is not until October 31, and what date is it, exactly? July 31. Right. August-September-October...3 more months to go. Wait, no shit? ONLY 3 more months to go? Then what? December, January, February, March...4 more months to go and we're free of school? WOAH. We'll soon be reviewing, and we'll soon be taking the tests that will bring us to next set of ladders defining the end of our scholastic life. *Blah, blah, blah*

Where will I be after High School? ONE PLACE. I'll be in a point in the graph without coordinates, just maybe an inequality to define my location. I'll be in a place MORE than a thousand miles away from this place. ~~I'll go fuck myself up abroad. (NO GREEN MINDS THERE FUNCTIONING? GOOD. COZ IF THERE ARE, SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE ALREADY.)~~ I'll be climbing the tip top of the ladders of the I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E Universties in the known world. I'll go to Harvard, or Oxford, or NYU! I'll take the goddamed SATs and what's the name of what they call it in UK and go there (on a scholarship if I can choose it! It costs TOO much. Ha.) But I swear I'll go there and study then take Law, where ever there chooses itself to be. I will go there.

I've thinking of this since forever and I've been thinking about it all day. I thought of it while we had Chemistry (Hey, hey, SEP actually helped me, can you believe it?) And I thought of it while we listened to substitutes and nonexistent substitutes during AK, Envi. Ed and the supposed History period. I did the crap those missing (not wanted) teachers wanted us to do and I turned to read. But wait! News flash: I don't have a book. Ha. I finished Wrath, and I DEFINITELY need Sloth, but I left it at home. My, my. I need to ~~Reed~~ read it now, but I'll get done with my Homework first.

Happy Birthday Kim, Annewileen, Bea Pojas and JK Rowling! MASSIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HARRY! He's how old? 27? Yeah. Harry! We ate cake today, from Kim! Recess: Black Forest. I never quite managed to particularly crave for it, but now, I DO! And Lunch, we gave Bea a *something* crumble and we devoured it.

Hold on, I'm watching TV. Show: Let's Speak Korean. Ha! I want to learn! Yong Gi E Si Mo Ro Yo? Is it far from here. Moroyo - far away. Hakawoyo - close. These two friends are hakawoyo. Shogu moroyo - a little bit faraway. Aitsu hakawoko - VERY close. Anyo - No. Kyeng-glo - PLANE. Be - BOAT. Peyo kam yon, : You can get there. (I'm using this as y notebook)

HAHA. WHAT DID I WATCH? =)) It's so cuuuuute. Hihi! It's already 6:30, I have to go. I need to begin doing my HW. I was supposed to go to the dentist today. Well, I did. But then, wala yung wire. So I'll go there bukas.

Kompangye-o: you can get there quickly. Tyet so yo - subway. Kumban - right away! COOL! =)) Haha, it was my sister who left it at Arirang. But she fell asleep! :> I talked to a kid in FAKE Korean kanina, and she was...dumbfounded!

Bugtong

2007-07-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, my favorite brother (well, seeing that he's my only brother...) picks me up from school after the basketball training. Everytime he picks me up, he grins at me and asks the same livid question: Ate, alam mo ba tong bugtong na ito? Adorable. Walang training ngayon, I ended up going to Alyssa's house! Ha! Yeah, baby. We did our Algeb and I studied Rhetorics (for A.F.S.!), and ate the yummy-fuckah chocolate covered carbohydrate that bloats up our dear sweet tummies--champorado! Then Migo picked me up. Ate, bugtong ko! Hawakan mo ang buntot ko at sisisid ako. AM I GREEN OR AM I GREEN? Biglang nagtatawa yung driver. HAHAAAAAAAAA. Uh, Migo? Ano? (Driver: Hik, hik, hik!) SANDOK! WTF! HAHAAAA. Green minded. (Driver: Tanungin mo sa Mommy mo yan, o kaya sa Daddy mo.) Lovely pick me upper since I had this incredibly sworn to evil stretch of time called the incredibly sworn to evil fucked up day dubbed July 30, 2007.

Started with Algeb (as it usually does, duh?) The pregnant teacher kept on babbling Martian words of love and affection and it took all I could offer to not scream in frustration. I was 30 seconds late with taking down notes and listening to her babbles of incoherent jungle of babbles (Read: Copying number 3, discussing number 6). I CAN'T GET ALGEB? I'm a fucked up Algebra whore! Ha. She kept on talking way past our recess time. So the pregnant teacher discussed 5 numbers in rounghly 1 minute and 25 seconds. Guiness? Ha. ~~Shove it up her ass.~~ May she give birth. In her defense, she was okay when we were in Grade 5 and 6, must be the hormones.

And my penguin whore Isa and I fought. I get touchy with section 3. I absolutely adore the class, and well, they're simply not adorable. I must be blind. But still, I <3> best subject to ever graze the meadows of scholastic nation. I SWEAR. By the way, Algeb is a screw up, it's bloody (Freeeeed and Geoooooorge and Snaaaaaape) easy once the pregnant teacher is out of the way. I actually got it when I looked at the HW. All I need is some SILENCE. Precious SILENCE.

Anyway, I must be off. I swore I'd be on my HW (AFS Visual Plan, Read Noli, Read World History, ~~Algebra~~ done with Algebra!, English research, Envi. Ed editing, Prom Docu Progress report, and ~~nothing else~~ edit the "classical" (I'm thinking it's really just a plain boring still life replica of some sort) painting I almost finished two weeks ago and finally lay it in for my mother to (eagerly! :D) frame.) by 7:30. It's already 7:45.

I'm losing my touch. :)

Crabs

2007-07-29T13:33:00.000+08:00

More pictures here.

I am a normal teenager.

I am a very normal teenager.

CHEER WITH ME Y'ALL! Yeah, I'm not sick anymore! I actually thought I'm gonna end up at a hospital bed with friends coming in with pastries and that adorable sponge-like mamon from Goldilocks (which is very ironic since sick people can't eat much so the mother will be the one enjoying the sweets), but well, I got out of the clinic fine. I was absent last Thursday because ~~I didn't get to do my Algeb and History homeworks and didn't have new lab goggles~~ my stomach still hurt and my dear empty stomach is complaining. I didn't eat ANYTHING until I got to Med City because I couldn't bring myself to think of swallowing food. I ate quite a bit of my lunch from Binalot, but then I got really cold, and I was shivering from head to toe to hair. My Mom got worried and pulled me from my seat, and we were supposed to go to the ER already but then somehow we ended up at the pedia's clinic. I had a slight, uh, fever, about 37.6 degrees? Yeah, that. I went home afterwards and took some medicine. Before long, I was good and ready to get going!

I reached home just in time to see the La Salle - Ateneo game (ATENEO-OH-OH-OH!), or rather, Ateneo (ATENEO-OH-OH-OH!) singing their song, throwing their fists in the air in a supposedly alma mater-loving gesture. (From my heart to everything in the universe, yeah?) So at least I figured out who won. Guess who? (Suck it up Greenies! Ha! :> Okay, sorry na. Masaya lang. Nothing personal Green guys, eh?)

And after mourning over the little detail that I didn't get to watch the oh-so-wonderfully-amazing-and-mind-blowing game, I grabbed my copy of the 7th installment of the oh-so-wonderfully-amazing-and-mind-blowing series (7 guesses what!) and read till I dropped. I dropped around 4 AM, and I rose around 5 AM. I had an hour of sleep! But that's okay, I discovered the deep dark secrets of Severus (Savvy) Snape! I LOVE SNAPE. I absolutely love Snape! I can't believe I've been hating him all these years! You're a f*cking hero. Go, people, grab the 7th installment of the oh-so-wonderfully-amazing-and-mind-blowing series and read, love Snape by the end of it! Look at me. And the dark pair of eyes closed... *TEARS!!!* Hope I didn't spoil anything, huh.

La-la-la. Public school interaction wasn't a bore. The f*cking students are so incredibly nice! And sweet! And friendly! :) I got a letter, and a pin with the number 32 on it (O'Neal, BABY!). Oh by the way, Larry Bird is the most amazing passer in the History of the world. Tap it there, flip it here, poke it to the right and all his antics! My god? He's great, man! Lovely. Slow man, eh? But absolutely wonderful. Anyway, that's not the topic. After the interaction, I slept. Yeah. I slept. And I woke up to answer some sheets, listen to Sir Andy (at the III-2's classroom!), read a bit of Wrath (7 deadly sins!), and sleep when I get to the bus.

I slept at the bus, and got home and slept at the sofa. I woke up at 10 PM, went up to my room, and slept until 8 or 9 AM. Saturday, sick again! I didn't get to paint. What the hell is up with my body? I watched movies! Something where (What's the name of the chick who played Regina George? Tip of my tongue) she played a victim in this flight harassment and her Dad's going to be killed if she doesn't call this resort and change the room reservations of this guy called Keith. Oh! Rachel McAdams, she's the girl. And I also watched 300 (didn't understand it, was in front of PC :-/), and the other half of Not Another Teen Movie, and I watched Barbie: The 12 Dancing Princesses! Yeah, baby! And I watched all of those while lying down. I also tried watching UAAP games, but I fell asleep. Too bad.

I woke up this morning and guess who I saw? TRACY McGRADY! HE WAS THERE! IN THE ROOM! (Inside the idiot box) It's one of those amazing games that end up in that show (NBA's Greatest Games). It was the Houston Rockets vs San Antonio Spurs, if I'm not mistaken. And with barely a minute left, the Spurs were leading by 12 points. Tracy McGrady had a 4-point play opportunity with 45 seconds left, and he made it. 8 more points to go! Then he scored a 3-pointer. 5 more to go? THEN HE SCORED ANOTHER WITH 11.2 SECONDS TO GO! WITH THREE DEFENDERS WITH THEIR HANDS ON HIS FACE! WOAH. : The score was 70-68 So then, the Spurs called a Time-Out, and when they got back, they gave the ball to this guy, and hi dribbled for a few seconds till he slipped, and Tracy McGrady got the ball with 6 seconds to go. He ran down the court in 3 seconds and shot a 3 pointer with three Spurs men in front of him, and guess what? He got it! HA. THEY WON! Cool.

And I went downstairs and ate crab. :) It's the dirtiest lunch I've had in years. Extremely dirty. [-) And yet, I don't care. I even ate rice, a spoonful. Ew? I hate rice. Mom said the doctor said I MUST eat rice, but bitch, I heard her say that PASTA was fine. Ha! Think you can fool me? No can do, my lovely lady.

Desperately Unnerving Curved Chais (!!!)

2007-07-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

ICON BY MY SISTER, TRICIA! That's why it's SMALL.

I MUST EAT. I can't bring myself to eat today. My back hurts, must be due to the excess curve our chairs possess. They are not made particularly for ass-less people of the world. The curves are supposed to be occupied by the bums of the blessed people of the world. I, unfortunately, fill tha space up with the four lower vertaes of my vertebral column. Biology geeks, (not me, particularly!) is that right? You get the picture. AND they hurt SO bad. Add to the lack of cooling down during the basketball try-outs and what do we get? ~~Hickory Dickory Duck~~ Might as well be a duck-worth Bianca. It hurts bad, you know? And, I didn't eat a thing today after recess! I ate my cereals for breakfast, I ate my sandwich and milk biscuits for recess, and gave away my lunch. I'm not much of an eater, because I hate feeling bloated. I drank a whole bottle of C2, LOADS AND LOADS (probably jugs!) of water from the drinking fountain, a cup of Oreo shake, and what nots. PS, I also drank Mirinda under the false pretenses that it was orange juice. Real smart, eh? We all know my stomach can't tolerate soft drinks, and now my stomach is doing that awful, sickening, rumbling. That means I don't have the guts to eat unless I want a mob of gooey vomit on my face. Ha. Lovely sight, indeed?

So I'm rambling on and on. I thought we were free of HW, but we've got Algeb, Chemistry, History, and what else to worry about. Didn't realize it 'till Sarah Napala reminded me. Crap? I'll go and set my alarm on 3 AM, (fine, 3:30, just so!) and do it then. HOWEVER, I don't usually wake up! I MUST WAKE UP. I'm not sleeping in my bed, the sofa would be better. Or no. Fine. Bed. I can't read Harry Potter either (ISA! MUST THINK OF TEARS!) because I'd better rest. Is it not wonderful that my printer (according to Trish, I haven't been up there in a while) chose today to malfunction? English paper, hello?

Ramble, ramble, that's about all I can do. I took a Dove chocolate from the bag yesterday, and I got this message from the wrapper, "It's okay to do nothing." I got 4 others, but I can't place my finger on what they said. I'll do nothing. Ironic, since the moment I read it, I was reading my Filipino book as means of reviewing Noli. Ha? Great? Thought so. I continued reading. But now, IT IS OKAY TO DO NOTHING, not if you have 2 hours at dawn to do more than nothing. (Again, on with the HP-related tears!)

I guess I must be off? By the way, I am not watching the ~~Harr~~ La Salle-Ateneo game tomorrow, but I shall be parading the colors of my (albeit the word FUTURE,) school. The love for BLUE! Ha, we share it all, don't we? Note, it's the school, not the people, so don't go off getting any ideas. So Bee muz go to ZE bed. (Hear, Fleur?) Tuh-tuh.

One last thing! Those who want to be part of the Prom Documentation Committee, contact ME or KAYE V! Approach us tomorrow or what nots. Must change lay-out, eh?

Ancient Ruins of GRADE SCHOOL

2007-07-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

This is an uncomfortably shabby computer I'm using. If one must insist to know, my laptop is still out of its proper mind, due to overdrinking. If laptops drink, I suppose, mine would be the champion with the pegs, for it killed itself through drinking. Well, naturally, it was someone else's fault. That crazy househelp seemed to find it amusing to spill liquid all over the keyboard, and voila. Bye, lights. I'll have to bring it over to Megamall, to the Neo booth, according to the computer technician. Do pray for Twist's soul as she undergoes a very delicate operation. And, the other PC is having problems of its own, the boyfriend must've left her and has gone on strike? How likely. I can't touch any other laptop here at home as they are not mine, so I'm stuck to using this ancient ~~ruin~~ computer with incredibly large text and are mysteriously like the pre-PAASCU AA computers. Get the gist? Now, sympathize. And due to the same reason, this post is icon-less.

I have been behind homework. I absolutely NEED to read Chemistry's Chapter 9 (on atoms), write my English essay, try to figure out what the next lessons for Geom and Algeb are because I need to read through it in order to understand the lesson (listening to the teacher had never been my thing), READ Noli Me Tangere and so on, so forth. I guess I'm doing my check list here, huh? What of my planner? It's thriving pretty well. Yeah, but very messy. Not at all the creative pages you used to see.

I missed the SONA. And I don't care. (I'm not supposed to say that because AFS will disown me, but go, honesty lover.) I didn't miss my HP7 book. Ha. Well, technically, I did. I missed it last Saturday. I made Trish go to AA to claim the book, but the kid slept at the kiosk and getting the book slipped her mind!!! Lovely? Tell me about it. I had to claim it today, during RECESS, when I could've read it yesterday! Oh, Isa, the pains? The pains.

That book will be the last thing I'm spending on for a few months. I'm not spending anything. I'm saving up for a surprise my Mom's planing for December. Apparently, we need to save up if we don't want to regret it. What IT is, I have no idea. A wild guess, she'll bring me to some place I've been begging for for ages. Hmm, problem is, which one? A testimony to my being a cheapmonk? Ha, I went to Eastwood last night (Tita Diwi's birthday, Mom brought us along), and I didn't buy a THING, except perhaps for a drink and candy. AND my Dad's gift! I'm saving, I'm saving, I'm saving. BOOYAH!

I love it when you call, I love it when you call, I love it when you call, but you never call at all. So what's the complication? It's only conversation. I love it when you call, but you never call at all-oh-woh-oh. Lovely song by THE FEELING.

I guess I'm off to write my English essay. Or Review of Related Lit. I really can't tell the difference. Now call me a loser. =))

PS, do check out these GRADE 6-7 pictures of me and my friends.

Inactivity Due to Activity

2007-07-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

Well, I have been un-blogging for a whole month and 2 days, and that's because I'm EXTREMELY busy. Oh sorry. :-<

* AFS! (External Head, so a lot of PPTs and meetings and what nots) Right, Cara? Well, it is stressful, but I guess it'll be worth it (cough, college applications, cough!)

* Prom Documentation External Com Head (What IS up with me and external-ness of everything?) This is fine, because I have a lovely partner. Three cheers for Kaye Violeta! And well, there's Eenna the Executive Counterpart, ~~but she's really a bad classmate and we always fight and she's an alien~~ and she sings very well!

* OIL PAINTING! Okay, true, I haven't painted in two weeks, but I WILL paint on Saturday. There's no stopping a frustrated stress master.

* Investigatory Project. Ehem, the words themselves can kill, and that's enough said.

* Basketball! Now, who would've thought? Long story short, I went to the softball varsity try-outs, and I got picked up really late, 8 PM. And I chatted with Ms. Nen and she asked me if I wanted to try out for basketball instead. I showed up in short shorts, an oversized white shirt, and electric blue rubber shoes (I sadly lack rubber shoes as they are not my style!) And poof, I'm trying out. And learning. (I hope, to hell!)

* Events Committee Member (Yay! Oh, lurve.) It's not exactly time-consuming, but I just want to put it here!

* Book-whoring! (CHEEKS FLARE RED, EYES LIGHT UP!) I'm currently obsessing over the following books: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Gossip Girl 10, It Girl: Reckless, Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath and Sloth, and what else? SOON TO BE MY NUMBER ONE ADDICTION: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS! Now, whatever happened to the last word being scar? I guess it's untrue.

* And of course, A JUNIOR LIFE awaits me down that little dark road. But then, it's lovely. Busy, but ultimately lovely! Noli Me Tangere is suprisingly easy. Beowulf? I actually LOVE it, sorry na, loser. And Canterbury? Much more love. Geometry and Algebra? The light in my dark, dark forest of numbers. My one true love: MATH! And well, Chemistry? Another story. It's particularly easy, but then I hate it when I don't get proper notes. So I end up hating the subject. Yeah, my Chem notes are MESSY. I hate it. Good God.

I must get back to Noli Me Tangere. I'll upload pictures SOON. I promise. And I'll post more the coming days.

AND ANOTHER THING, I'M CHANGING MY LAY-OUT SOON! Watch out. :> Ha?

Pencil Case

2007-06-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

Happy fathers' day, my dear Daddy and my dear friends' Dads.

I woke up this morning, and my first thought was: THE CARD! I bought a card last Friday, for Dad. It's the outrageously big card we usually see in Blue Magic, and I wrote quite a lot. It's to tell my Dad how much I appreciate his understanding of my overly-dramatic mind. I made Trish write too, and what Trish wrote, I guess, really did emphasize her worries, though they were written in such a joking manner. Goal: Make Arianne and Miguel write too! Arianne managed to write hers, and even draw some little butt-shaped figures with 2 nuts on each side (later we found out they were hearts with wings!) And, as for my brother, he simply wrote I love you Dad! and drew his version of my Dad (stick figure in blue and hearts all around). It was quite colorful. When Dad asked me to get his newspaper from downstairs, I tucked the humongous card inside, but then the edges were peeking because of the newspaper's unadept size. Oh, God.

And by the way, Maan, Happy Birthday. I don't have load! DAMN.

We went to The Fort, just because of the new Fully Booked. Yeah, what a book-addicted family we are. Did I mention it takes about an hour and a half to two hours of driving to get there? Amusing, really. We did enjoy ourselves. We spent a good number of hours looking at books and choosing what we want. La, la, la, la. It was a lovely building, with even lovelier material in its confinement. In case you haven't been there, it's still quite unfinished, the basement (which I suppose are for art materials) and the the top floor (business, etc.) are not yet quite furnished, as well as their Starbucks. But nevertheless, it was quite a world of reads. AND, out of curiosity, I looked for Leo's book. I had no intention of buying it, ha. (Because I'll be trading a painting for a book with Leo! Haha! No way am I not gonna read that!) Guess what I found out? IT SOLD OUT! COOL. Really. Congratulations, my dear friend, you sold out. Horays!

I ended up buying Emma by Jane Austen. So much for getting tired of classics! I loved the synopsis I can't not buy it. It would be against my better judgment to do so, so goodbye other chic lits, Jane Austen stole my heart. Trish got the Unauthorized Biography of Lemony Snicket. Eh? What do they see in his books? I, for one, despise it, loathe it, and swear never to read it again. I got depressed and my stomach failed me when I read the first book. Oh, God. What a shameful thing. But my dear sister wanted it, she's quite a reckless sardonic bitch. And I say that with much love. She actually wanted a vampire story, Twilight, but Dad laughed at her. Sardonic little miss. PS, I actually liked the idea of Twilight, I almost convinced her to get it.

Dad took us out for lunch, and he, being his usual self, tried to joke with the waitress. When we got there, we were on the waiting list, and we wanted to go to Fully Booked first. Dad was joking the waitress to text him when we get seats. HAHA! My dear father, ever so blunt. He's hilarious when you're with him. I didn't really like the idea of Mini Shabu Shabu. There's just no variety, but lucky them, they were the first restaurant my father saw, and he was very hyngry. We could've walked just a teeny weeny bit more and end up somewhere better! Sad, sad, sad. I'd actually prefer McDo, or Jollibee (:x) for that matter. But whatever, all that matters is I was with my dear, twisted bunch of a family. (cue: melodramatic music)

We went around Bonifacio High Street a bit, looking for my (soon to be MY anyway) pencil case, but we found none. I saw the Jordie ones from Fully Booked, but I didn't like them. They were the only cases I saw. We were also looking for Migo's alarm clock. He said he needed it. NEEDED. Kasi dapat mauna siyang magising kesa kay Arianne. Ang maunang magising, siyang manunuod sa room nina Mommy. Did it occur to him that we already have classes? We walked to Market Market for that, for his alarm clock. And my pencil case. But that's besides the point, because I didn't get to buy it. I still could see a suitable pencil case. Picky, much? I bought the pens, and writing materials, but no pencil case.

On the way home, we stopped by Ever to try to look at the National there (pencil case!), and buy my grandmother's medicines. The line to the cashiers were 30 people long. No, thank you. I went to Human, and odds of all odds! I found my pencil case!!! It only costs P69.75, and I loved it! It was made of stripped canvas, and of course the zipper. And I fell in love with it! The moment we got home, I painted it with a rubber ducky, with a talk bubble that says "Meow". And I also painted my pink stroller bag (which I plan to use this year!!!) with two hearts. One red, one white!

Did I tell you I'm in love with peanuts? Or nuts, for that matter. I love whatever it is that have nuts. It's an addiction! I bought Reese today, just for the heck of it. Nevermind the calories, peanuts are righteous enough to be excepted from the calorie count. (hint!)

Oh, and we were late for mass, but we attended it nevertheless. I saw my deaaaar Tep!!! =)) And I hate our school buses. Kill their tires, as well as their spares!

I'm going to have to go now, school begins tomorrow! I'm getting jittery, wondering how the first day is going to change my whole year. So long, and till tomorrow, loves! Pray for me? Yay. Pray for US. Please let it be block. :(