I think I am having amnesia at this very moment. I fail to remember what happened the whole day, except for that little detail of a talk, a talk with our dear principal, Sr. Irene Cecile, R.A. It sucked and it was glorious at the same time. Will elaborate on that later, right now, I’ll try to remember what happened today.

Oh yeah, the LAST high school assembly happened this morning, wala lang. Ang weird ng feeling, it’s the last? The memory of our IDs being confiscated is very fresh indeed. The numerous times the SCAA scolded us for being noisy, the numerous times we used it improperly for review, the numerous times we spent it listening to our batch mates share their reflections, all of these were fresh. I can’t believe we’re going to third year already, and in another year, one that would go as fast as this one did, we’re going to be in fourth year, concentrating on our college applications. I just decided yesterday that I will not go to THE Ateneo for college, I’m going to the States. I know it sounds totally un-nationalistic and stupid of me, but hey, it’s hard to thrive here in the Philippines. I’ll live there on my own, well, technically. I’ll study with Teptep, and we’ll be lawyers together. At least I hope so. I’d like that very much.

My sister is absent today, she’s very sick. She was crying this morning because she’d be missing the CLE test, physical fitness test, and some other HELE things and she has three days left of the pain she feels on her head. Pity and mercy for my sister, *tears* She’s feeling REALLY bad. I hope she gets well. Trish, get well soon, okay?

We printed our Computer projects today, right before our tests. I still owe Raqui a peso for the bond paper I got from her. And well, I wish I can learn to use Corel Draw properly, I think it’s very useful indeed. Yes, maybe I’ll buy one CD and install it. Yuck, addict. HAHA.

Then came the CLE test, it was pretty okay. I hate the analysis. I think there’s more than one answer that could be considered per number. I sure hope so. Kung ano ano na lang ata ang nilagay ko dun eh? Makasagot lang. Oh boy. I like the stories though. :P It’s really pretty. I’m a sucker for realizing-eye-opening sort of things, that’s why Sr. Irene had a huge effect on me earlier. Tama na yung mga TSS dyan, oo na jologs, pero yeah, natuto ako. J Health was better, I guess. Pero mali na ko sa mga Hepatitis questions, I don’t think I’ve read the LPs about that. I don’t even think I have it. How sad is that? Very, I know.

What else? I wanna get everything out before I venture into the unthinkable a.k.a. undersanding her.

Oh yeah, I forgot to go have my make-up music quizzes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I must find a way. I will. Shout out to Pam, kakampi kita? Paano tayo? After the tests parang cool na cool lang kami eh, sayang sa oras. See videos sa multiply ni Pam. May video ata ng game naming entitled Don’t Touch My Puss. :> Ahihi. Ang baboy. Tae. Anyway, here goes.

We were stopped from playing Don’t Touch My Puss because of some, hmm, announcement. The announcement? We shall pay 19,500 for the ruined floor of the penthouse. Absurd, eh? We just had bits and pieces of paint on it, we didn’t even do it on purpose. Please. I, we, everyone got defensive and we started thinking of alternatives because the cost is VERY un-proportional and all. Dimples talked to us and started figuring out ways on how to talk to Sr. Irene and all, and somehow, we calmed ourselves and got ready to go to her.

At the beginning, there were, *counts*around eight of us supposedly going there. Kaso lang pag dating naming dun, tatlo na lang kami ni Dimples at Via, ewan ko kung ano nangyari. Haha! Anyway, we waited for the secretary to take us in and in a bit we were inside the Principal’s Office. Here’s how it went:

Dimples introduced herself as the sophomore’s batch representative and we started explaining how we felt. It’s very unfair to have us pay for that cost, P19,500 for a floor we did not mean to spill paint on. It seemed like a very huge sum for that little piece of flooring. Linoleum it was, but what the heck is that? When we were doing the exhibit, we had so many things on our mind. It was right after our quarterly tests and we didn’t have time to focus on it. We tried our best, we really did. We brought in as much news paper as we can to cover the floor while painting. As we rushed to finish the exhibits, we didn’t really keep in mind the floor because, hello, we were in pressure. We didn’t necessarily want to have our Asianfest at the penthouse, it certainly was not our decision. We were instructed to do that, we were instructed not to use real artifacts, to avoid it as much as possible. We were instructed to do our own exhibit materials, and so we did. We did it through paper mache. And now, we spilled paint, yes, but does that damage really equal to 19,500 Php? How can they expect us to collect that in three days? What about those batchmates who can’t manage to collect their part? What about them?

Here’s their answer.

The reason the admin wanted to repair it was for respect, it took last year’s graduates a whole lot of effort to get funds and rebuild that penthouse. It was not just for PAASCU, though Sr. didn’t mention that. It was for our own convenience. They didn’t want us walking all the way to the mini theater, that’s why they gave us the refurnished penthouse. It took them one year to discern what color of curtains to use—deep blue, lighter blue, cold blue—what sort of walls to use, what aircon to buy, what flooring to use. One whole year, a concert gone and stress managed well, it all went toward the creation of the refurnished penthouse. When, after several trips to divisoria, consultations with numerous architects, they finished it. It was like, as she placed it, holding on to a balloon of fulfillment. It was for us. That’s how it got to me. They were concerned about us, about our surroundings. How would the fourth year last school year feel when they come back and see the damage we have done to what they have worked for? Tama na muna yung narrow-mindedness okay? Just try to let it seep in. J

Now imagine, after a year’s work and after seeing it’s beauty, you come back and see it ruined? How bad could that be? And how would you feel when you’ve placed so much effort on a project and in two weeks’ time, the people you had the project done for, would destroy it? It feels bad, really. I understand how Sr. Irene felt. Wow, that’s weird, I actually felt for her? But yeah, I did. Hindi sa mukhang pera siya, gusto lang niyang pagandahin yung facilities, since yun naman diba parait nating reklamo? Where would the school place their feet on anyway? Pag hindi nagpaganda ng school, corrupt. Pag pinaganda, nagsasayang ng pera? Ano ba. I’m guilty for that certain bitterness, but now I realized the things that I didn’t understand before.

According to Sr. Irene, the school can manage to shoulder the expenses, sus, that’s just P19,500. Barya lang yan sa kanila, pero what they want us to learn is the sense of responsibility. As Mrs. Aguilos told us, kahit pag-balibaliktarin yan, nasira pa din natin yung penthouse. And she’s right, isn’t she? I asked where we would get money for the quota, she then asked me how much my baon was. I felt a tinge of guilt and lied, I said I had P50 a day for saying that I get P100 would be very shameful. Am I not willing to sacrifice P105 to pay for the damage that our batch has done? I thought we were a family? A family should stay together, whatever happens. In good times, in bad times, we’ll be on each others’ sides. Or was that just some lyrics to a song? I hope not.

If the school shall shoulder the cost of this repair, it shall leave us unfeeling. We could not feel the damage that we have done, we could not feel the consequences of being very careless. Indeed, we were careless. That 19,500 Php can be collected, that is life. No matter how seemingly unfair it is, it’s exactly the opposite. If they continue to let us get away with everything, then we’ll never learn. The point of the payment is not really to charge us, but to help us. It shall help us feel the sense of organization and responsibility. Kailangan nating matutong magtrabaho ng pulido. Do you know that there’s no direct English translation of pulido? That’s how we’re supposed to work, pulido. Malinis at maayos, polished work. It shall serve a lesson, without us feeling the direct consequences, without us feeling the pain of what we’ve done, we can’t learn. We have to admit that fact.

And oh, by the way, they are not going to re-do the whole floor, they will be patching things up. If they do the whole floor all over again, that shall cost P200,000 minimum, so you’ll see, barya lang ang P19,500. Tayo sumira, tayo managot. Diba? They used the linoleum because it was the cheapest and most sophisticated. If they tile it, it would be a lot more expensive. Plus, as AA girls, we treat our school as our home. Admittedly, we sleep on the floor, we sit on it, we eat on it, bahay na bahay talaga, and if they used tiles, it would be cold for our backs and all. They considered all those things. It was unfair to have us pay for those repairs? No, here’s what’s unfair. It was unfair for us to put the blame on them entirely, without even realizing how much effort and time they placed on building that for us. For us, not the PAASCU. Get it?

We destroyed the floor, we can pay for all the repairs, sure, but we can never, ever, return it to how it was before, patch-free and smooth.

DOES THAT APPLY TO LIFE? That’s the lesson they’re trying to have us learn, not just some lame excuse to defend themselves. Keep your minds open, dismiss the doubts. Living your life with doubts will do nothing for you. Living your lives in resentment and rebellion and self-pity and bitterness toward the leaders will do nothing for you. Right now, let’s just do our part and learn from our mistakes. Okay?

I hope you’ll accept this with an open mind. We’re a family, remember.

<3, BEE :)