I'm soap. Soap has a polar head and a non-polar tail. Or is it vice versa? You know, I really shouldn't be forgetting my Chemistry, I still have roughly a little under a month to go till the Quarterly Exams. The Quarterly Exams, SUCH a stupid, stupid, stupid concept, I swear. Why test us of something they tested us on already (UT1, UT2, MQT, hel-lo?) And to give us FOUR tests in ONE day for two consecutive days? Not. Funny. But that's besides the point. I'm talking about soap, supposed to be anyway. Why do I always veer away from my topic? ALL the time? I guess veering away from your topic is inevitable, yet it's confusing. My train of thought passes the other railway and I'll end up seeing a dead end or a cliff at the end of the unfinished railway. Stupid engineers, or is it the government that's stupid for corrupting the money to be used to pay the engineers so that the railways may be done? Wait, wrong. Railways here are non-literal. No, train of thought is non-literal. My train of thought always go off. Moving on to my real topic. I think I am soap. On end's polar and one end's non-polar, making me bipolar. Yep, that's the main point of this paragraph, telling you that I am bipolar. (Now where did I put that straight-to-the-point APA Style hand-out that I did NOT study last night?)

Moving on, yeah. I'm pretty much bipolar. The past two or three days have been bizarre. I've been hyper in school. I don't even remember a time that I wasn't laughing or a time that I was still. I probably have ADHD, but unfortunately it wasn't diagnosed when I was a kid mainly because my parents didn't really know about ADHD, or at least they're not as familiar with it as they are now. Eitherway, no one testified that I have ADHD, so the reason for my hyperactivity is quite a mystery. I've been spending my lunch and my recess and all the time that I can with the Section 2 people...mainly because I can lie down on their floor without people staring at me for taking up their space. You see, the front of our classroom is occupied for lunch, Jana's group had claimed it ages ago. So I go to Section where there's an open area on the floor (albeit the fact that it's INSIDE the circle that LunchMates form every Lunch) where I can lie down. Cool. And they always tell me, Bianca, ang haba mo. Yeahhhh, pati buhok ko mahaba. I'm cutting it off tomorrow. I think. All off. Along with all the memories of the previous year. Lalalaaaa.

I don't understand why school makes me SO happy. Ecstatic, even. I laugh about the silliest things and I do the silliest things and even if I'm thinking of sad things for extended periods of time, I manage to not show it. My face's a remnant of our Prom theme, I guess? A MASK. Well, not really. I don't believe I'm faking happiness. I'm not that much of an actress, yo. I really AM happy. It's just that when I get home, when I'm alone and the people I usually run to when I'm alone are not there. I don't know, maybe I'm just not used to not having them there for me. But then again, they DO have their own lives and maybe I'm not part of those lives anymore and I chose the wrong people to spend a lot of my time with and they're not really worth it? I don't think so. I still think that these friends, whoever they are and whatever they're doing now, were there. There, at that time. At. That. Time. Now, I have no idea. But well, you can't force yourself to someone who don't wanna be your pal anymore, right? You have other options, take them. Hmm, nah. I'll save these friendships. I'm not quite ready to change my whole lifestyle all over again. Change my confidants? Change my habits. I don't care. I'll cry if I have to, be alone till god knows when, but I'm not running to other people. Chances are, the same things will happen, and you'll be sad all over again. Yes, yes, I know that change is the only permanent thing in this world. Geez. How many times, lord? But I still hate change. I'd rather be stuck in the eye of a hurricane forever than go outside and view the destruction said hurricane created. Vague, but yeah. True, true.

People suck, operation detachment. At least that's how Mara and Liseth phrased it. But maybe I don't want detachment? Maybe I want another sticky tape that would stick everything back into place. Liseth blurted out one day (and yes, my lovely front mate is even more random than I am and I love her for it.) Sana hindi na lang ako nakakaramdam. To which Bianca (no, not me. The OTHER Bianca, Bianca Velicaria. What IS up with my classmates? Putting Bianca beside Bianca? What?) to with Alam mo hindi maganda yung ganun. Mahirap yun. I thought: Oonga naman, paano kung hindi na lang ako nakakaramdam? Parang patay lang? Yeah, I won't be experiencing thrill and happiness, but then, I won't be experience the hurt of people leaving (or about to leave--TEPPPPPPPP). I guess it depends on what matters more to you? However, even if you choose what matters more, you really don't have a choice, like it or not, COGITO ERGO SUM. I THINK THEREFORE I AM. I AM. I AM. THEREFORE I FEEL. So scurry off evil thoughts and wish for the (fucking) best.

Let not my personal problems interfere with my relationships with others. Let not my problems with OTHERS interfere with my relationships with OTHERS still. This is a thought I must always remember. And most importantly, let not my PMS get the best of me. And believe it or not, it just did. THUS, the rambling. :)) Wrong time to mess with me, darlings. Don't. Even. Try. OR we won't be talking for weeks. Aftermath.

Aftermath. AFTER-FUCKING-MATH. Screw Geometry and that stupid problem I didn't get to answer.

Ay pota, I just have to share before I go. While talking to Angel. =)) Hahahaaaaa! By Angel:

WAHAHAHA! :)) Alabshoo Angel. We'll find our Mr. Rights. >:) Lalala. One FINE guy.